When dreaming about the perfect relationship we all imagine ourselves someday having, we probably think of a romantic scene where everything is perfect. Sometimes, though, real life has other plans. Like any other part of life, a relationship is filled with plenty of less than exciting or pleasant moments—some of which can be very un-romantic, to say the least. Here are 42 stories of the most unromantic moments that people loved their partners through.
42. Multitasker
I was throwing up in front of him for the first time. He was holding my hair back with one hand, whilst eating a Big Mac with the other. Zero hesitations.
41. A Spectator Sport
My wife was battling cancer and couldn’t poop due to all the medication she was given. So, I had to give her a suppository. Once it took effect, I had to stay in the bathroom and watch her because she thought she might pass out. True love at its finest.
40. An Arm and a Leg
I had MRSA, so my wound had to be packed with silver nitrate and wound with tape to assure that it didn't close over before healing.
This meant that my relatively new boyfriend was twice daily pulling blood and pus-soaked packing material out of a hole in my arm, and then ruthlessly shoving clean materials back in.
I knew right then that he was the one. We've been happily married over ten years now.
39. Bugged
She took out a maggot that had burrowed under my skin. She has a serious insect phobia, but did this for me anyway. That’s when I knew she was a keeper.
38. Surviving the Test
We both got vicious food poisoning from a restaurant. We both had diarrhea and we were both vomiting for about ten hours straight. We had one bathroom. It was a damn nightmare. I won’t go into too much graphic detail, but the fact we still wanted to ever have sex with each other again once we recovered was a really good sign.
37. No Kidding
I donated a kidney to him. Then, when his wound wouldn’t close four weeks later, I packed and dressed it twice a day while trying not to make it obvious that the smell was making me gag. You do what you gotta do!
36. Where the Sun Don’t Shine
My husband had a thrombosed hemorrhoid that needed an incision. After the procedure, I helped him make sure it was healing properly by looking into his butt every day. I needed to make sure there was no infection. If that ain't love, I don't know what is.
35. Passing the Torch
My husband acted as the lone pallbearer for our newborn son’s funeral.
I carried him for nearly his whole life, and my husband carried him to his final rest.
Not at all romantic, but I felt closer to him then than at any time before.
34. Cleanup On Aisle One
I had a severe attack of gastroenteritis. It was coming out of both ends.
I'm just lying in bed and I suddenly have to vomit, so I try to run to the bathroom. I fail to make it in time and proceed to vomit and poop all over the floor. He cleans me up, and then takes care of the floor as well. He then tucks me back into bed with some water, gives me a kiss, and strokes my greasy and tangled head till I fall asleep.
It was the most unromantic scenario ever, but he was there to help me get through it every step of the way.
When I tried to apologize for him having to do all that, he said "It's fine sweetie. I love you and I know if the roles were reversed you'd do the same."
And I would too!
33. Take Two
I had an ingrown hair cyst surgically removed from my butt crack. My spouse had to help me stuff new gauze in the hole in my flesh so it could heal properly. I bent over the bed while she removed the gauze. She did her best. I ended up having to pull it out myself in the bathroom, leaving blood all over the floor and myself. Even after the trauma of trying to remove the first gauze, she came back to help me get the new one in place after I cleaned up.
32. Rescue Mission
My husband helped me on and off the toilet when I was recovering from having our son. At one point, I was able to go on my own but couldn’t quite make it back to bed. He lifted me off the toilet, pulled my adult diaper up, and carried me back to bed. When he tucked me in, he told me I make adult diapers look beautiful. It meant more to me than any other time he’d complimented me.
31. No Need to Panic
When I had my first panic attack in front of him, I thought “that’s it, he's seen my crazy side and I've blown it.” I ran to my car and cried. He came to my car, told me to move to the passenger seat, drove around until I was okay to be in public, and took me out for lunch and to a bookstore. Reading calms me.
I never knew what true loving consideration was before then. That feeling of real, unpretentious, and unwavering love was just so much for me in that moment, despite how embarrassing and unromantic my behavior had felt just a few minutes earlier.
30. Living Up to His New Name
I have a now 12-year-old daughter who is not biologically his. However, she calls him Daddy and he always refers to her as his daughter. When she was about ten, he’d been moved in for about six months and we were settling into things as a family. I was out working and they were at home hanging out when she got her first period. I had briefly had a couple of small discussions with her, enough to the point where she knew what was happening. Nevertheless, she was freaking out because she had no idea what to do.
Calmly, he handed her some toilet paper, told her what to do with it, and took her to the store. He helped her pick out what she needed, then detoured to the ice cream, chocolate, chips, and bakery sections—and even picked up some junior Advil just in case. When they got home, he made up a hot water bottle for her and tucked her in on the sofa for a nap.
I came home to them both sound asleep, looking like a slumber party had just gone down. Probably one of the moments I’ve love him the most.
29. Grossly Thoughtful
My husband and I often end up showering together. One night as he was about to get in, he said “never mind. I’ll clean up and get some food ready for you so you can shave your behind in peace!”
28. Singing in the Shower
Our first child was eight weeks premature because I got preeclampsia and needed an emergency C-section. I was super messed up from all the drugs. When I was finally able to get out of bed, he helped my crying, hormonal, leaking body sit in the shower chair and take a much-needed shower. He helped dry me off and put on clean pajamas. When I finally got back into my wheelchair, I promptly threw up everything that had been pumped into me over the 24 hours after my surgery. He turned me around, wheeled me back in, and started all over without even a sigh.
27. Pillow Talk
My wife and I had a serious discussion in which we came to understand that we should sleep apart for the sake of comfort and good rest, without it being an expression of emotional distance. Pretty unromantic, but in the long run has worked well for us and made our relationship better.
26. Till Death Do Us Part
While we were married, she vomited constantly. She had serious morning sickness that lasted all day for both pregnancies, for nine months each time. Then she had cancer and chemo. So more vomiting.
She vomited almost every day we were married. But I always held her hair.
She died ten years ago. I have not dated since.
25. Mutual Grief
My first child was stillborn. A memory that will stick with me forever is the feeling of holding my wife while we both bawled our eyes out, as she vomited on me and bled all over the bathroom floor.
24. Impeccable Timing
When I was in labor with our third baby, I had to poop. Like soooo bad. The nurses were wanting to check me and make sure the baby wasn’t crowning. I knew it was legitimately just needing to poop—it wasn’t my first rodeo, obviously.
The nurse told me I could go poop on the condition that husband accompany me, in case the baby really did try to make an appearance. My poor husband sat in the hospital bathroom with me and held my hand through contractions as I pooped.
I felt closer to him after that than I ever had before. It was an unbelievably intense 15 minutes and I’ve never been so vulnerable in front of him. We look back now and laugh about it.
Married almost seven years, my potty time didn’t scare him off.
23. Playing Catch
My wife passes out. A lot. It has to do with a medical condition she has, but it can happen at almost anytime. I’ve become so good at recognizing how she feels, that I know when she’s going to go before she does and can be ready to catch her. It may look unromantic, and it can be—but her knowing I’m there and me recognizing her signs are a big thing for us.
22. Going to Waist
My husband's family lived across the country and used to send us boxes of their almost new, good quality clothes that they no longer wore. The men’s clothes were great for hubby and sons, but the female clothes were always a bit too small—I had gained a lot of weight since they had seen me last. My husband always felt so bad for me.
Then one time, my hubby lifted up a pair of pants out of the box and said happily, "These will fit you. They're HUGE!"
I still remember the look of horror that passed over his face as he realized what he'd said. But I loved the fact that he was happy for me to finally be getting a new pair of pants.
21. Playing Dress-Up
I fainted in the shower, hit my head, and was knocked unconscious. My husband called the ambulance. Because I was naked when I fainted, he fully dressed my unconscious body in time before the paramedics arrived.
20. Battle Cry
When I was first diagnosed with Crohn's disease, my spouse would have to carry me to the toilet as I would scream and cry from the pain of pooping. He spent many an hour kneeling in front of me, holding me while I poop cried.
19. Get Thee to a Hospital
I have bipolar disorder and have had two episodes of psychotic mania. He has dealt with them like a champ, not just enduring them but getting me safely to the hospital and being totally understanding about it. This would likely really scare a lot of people, if not make them jump ship entirely. I think it's a sign of my great trust in him that in the midst of being out of my mind with grandiose delusions and paranoia, I heard him say "we have to go to the hospital right now" and I unquestioningly went along with it.
18. Housewarming Gift
We had just moved in together in 2015. That summer, some weird tummy bug was going around and I got it. We were watching a movie when my stomach just unexpectedly gave one big churn and before I could get up to run to the bathroom, I puked and pooped myself at the same time. My stomach cramps were so unbearable that I could hardly lift my head up. He carried me to the bathroom, helped me shower, cleaned up my disgusting mess, and nursed me back to health. Every time I needed to go to the bathroom, he'd carry me, rub my back, hold out the bucket, etc. I was mortified, but to him it was normal and he knows I'd do the same for him.
17. Start Packing
My boyfriend had cancer engulfing his left testicle and had to have it removed. It was a 15 cm tumor. They almost took everything. I had to change the gauze and repack it in his scrotum multiple times a day.
16. Inside Out
When my husband and I first got married, I had surgery to remove a tumor from my chest. The surgery site ended up infected, and for about three months he would have to stuff the site with gauze so we could allow it to heal from the inside out. It was so disgusting and I could not do it myself because it was so painful. He was always so amazing about changing the dressing around it, and I really think it cemented the whole mentality of our connection to one another. We just celebrated our 11 year anniversary, and are still going strong.
15. The Milky Way
We were on a romantic getaway weekend in the mountains and I was still breastfeeding at the time. Right as we were getting ready for dinner, I had to break it to him that I had a plugged milk duct and it was threatening to ruin our whole night—if not the whole weekend. I was very uncomfortable and was worried about getting mastitis. My man went to town and sucked the plug out. I can’t describe how awkward it is to breastfeed your own husband, but he had absolutely no qualms about helping me out.
14. Taking Care of Business
I grew up with my grandparents because both my parents had to work various jobs simultaneously, so my grandfather was my world. I took care of him during his last five years, when he became bedridden. I tried to visit him as often as I could. He lived with an elderly aunt who fed him, but needed me to bathe him and, eventually, change his diapers and so on. Early in our relationship, my now wife would come over sometimes. One time, I got to his house and found him watching TV and eating a bowl of ice cream—with a full fridge. My wife had gone over a few hours before me without telling me. Six months later, I proposed.
13. Getting a Head Start
She puked in the parking lot on our first date, before we even got into the restaurant. I thought she was having second thoughts because she had just gotten out of a horrible relationship. Nope, she was just on her period and it was bad enough where she would puke.
We're married now!
12. You Only Get One Chance to Make a Second Impression
The second night he ever slept over at my place while we were dating, he pooped his pants in his sleep at 3am. Nothing like getting up to change the sheets at 3am. We’re married now.
11. Dinner is Served
I recently had a second heart catheterization to check my heart for blockages. Unfortunately, this time they needed to go through my femoral artery in my groin and I needed to remain on bedrest for about four hours after the procedure. I had not eaten all day in preparation for the surgery, so when I got out I was famished.
The nurse brought me a hospital dinner, but I could not sit upright to feed myself. My lovely wife of ten years, who has been a solid rock for me through this ordeal, was excited at the opportunity to feed me. I'm only 32 years old, so being in this predicament and being unable to feed myself was rather humbling. She happily cut my roast beef and potatoes and fed me a bite at a time.
You could just tell that she loved being able to take care of me in this way. It was not in any way a burden, a chore, or a nuisance. She didn't take advantage of the situation to make a humiliating "here comes the airplane" joke. She just carefully fed me and saw to my needs. She loved having some way of showing that she was there for me in a weak and frankly scary moment of my life. She is much better than I deserve and I am so crazy in love with her.
10. Sealed Lips
I had an awful stomach bug. I dry heaved so hard that I fainted and fell out of bed. When my husband came upstairs to investigate the sound, he found me puking into a trash can. He gathered up the sheets, helped me to the bathroom, and began to clean up. He never mentioned it again.
9. Loyal Till the End
After dating for a year, I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He proposed right then and there. He married me knowing I'm dying and we signed a prenup, so he walks away with nothing after I'm gone. He wanted to free me from the worries and struggles of being alone and sick with three young kids. He drives 90 minutes each way to work to keep his health insurance for my cancer treatment. He goes to my appointments with me, checks on me throughout the day, and has been my rock through 20 months of cancer hell. I was given 4-6 months, but because of him I've lived my best life since diagnosis.
8. Cutting the Birthday Cake
Four months into dating my husband, he had to take me to my colonoscopy. I didn’t have any family in town and it just made sense for him to take me. Afterward, I laid in his bed while he tried to convince me to pass gas so I wouldn’t be in pain. He started farting to try to make me feel better. A few hours after resting, I had to go to the OBGYN to get my IUD in. So he had to take care of me all day from being sore in my nether regions. To top it off, it was his birthday. It was the single most selfless thing anyone has ever done for me.
7. Cut Down to Size
When I was pregnant, my fiance shaved my legs and cut my toenails for me multiple times without ever complaining.
6. Muddling Through
I had an accident that resulted in my left index finger being amputated at the first knuckle, and leaving me just limited use of my left thumb. It was a hard time for me, and for my girlfriend. I was unemployed for four months. I had just bought a brand new car, and we had just brought home a new kitten the week before.
When it happened, she worked through her anxiety and depression to be my rock in my time of need. She helped me more than I will ever be able to thank her for. I'm reminded constantly of the struggles we went through, and I'm thankful for the amount she's done for me—even if she doesn't realize just how much she did.
I love you Toni!
5. The Final Frontier
In the first months of dating, during one of our first intimate encounters, my partner stopped to point out a weird spot on my private area. At the time, it was a bit embarrassing—but when I got diagnosed with cancer a few weeks later as a result of this observation, I was really grateful. We’ve been together for eight years now.
4. Where the Magic Happens
I was having a panic attack and he was in the bathroom. He called me in there because he could hear me sobbing uncontrollably. I went in thinking he was brushing his teeth. The man pulled me down onto his lap while he was pooping and held me while I was crying/hyperventilating/laughing the absurdity.
We are now engaged.
3. The Joke’s On You!
Ours was a little different, it involved pranking each other thoroughly and realizing how much we enjoyed it.
I spent a little more than a year randomly sending him emails from a man named "Nolan." He works in customer service and I made the most ridiculous case for him to solve involving a balloon business. Once in a while, during a slow time at my job, good old Nolan would email him. Last message was about Nolan asking the hubs to join him in a doomsday bunker...
I finally decided to tell him the truth on our anniversary, which is on April 1st.
He got me back this Christmas. He anonymously sent me a super low-quality Chevy Chase coloring book. I greatly dislike Chevy Chase, to put it mildly. He enjoyed me plotting revenge against my friends, and even egged me on. He finally admitted the truth on New Year's Eve.
I plan to retaliate in the near future.
2. Accomplice
My wife was soooooo sick. Like could barely stand sick. She crawled to the toilet and was rolling and groaning from stomach pain. She's never been able to make herself vomit on command.
I got her over the toilet, had her take a few deep breaths, and jammed my fingers down her throat (with warning and permission).
She demon spewed all over my hand and the toilet. It was pretty chunky and sticky, but she felt so much better.
1. Cat’s Out of the Bag
I got blackout drunk and puked all over my then boyfriend’s bedroom.
Woke up in fresh clothes the next morning. He explained everything that happened after I begged him to tell me.
Apparently, I started trying to exorcize demons out of him, and just projectile vomited everywhere in the process. He managed to get me to drink some water, then he bathed me, put me to bed, and cleaned up the mess.
I was so embarrassed after.
The only memory I have of that night is his cat looking at me with concern and judgment.
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