40 Of History's Most Unusual Deaths
History is filled with stories of people dying in unusual ways. Whether by cruel design or simply an accident of fate, an unusual demise has got to be one of the worst ways to go—imagine being the first person to die a certain way and being forever remembered by history for how you died, rather than how you lived?
Moving on from that rather depressing thought, here are 40 of history's most unusual deaths—mostly populated by poor buggers who will be remembered for how they died.
Tiberinus Silivius
Beginning in the Age of Antiquity, we have the first recorded demise of a person by drowning. In 914 BC, Tiberinus Silivius, the king of an ancient Latin city called Alba Longa, drowned while crossing the Tiber River, which today runs through Tuscany and Lazio. Poor Tiberinus, drowning is a terrible way to go.
Zeuxis
Apparently, this Greek painter keeled over from laughter while painting an elderly woman. You know what they say about karma—our guffawing painter kicked the bucket before the elderly lady!
Aeschylus
According to Pliny the Elder in Natural History, Aeschylus was slain by a tortoise falling on his head, having been dropped by an eagle who mistook his bald spot for a suitable rock to smash the tortoise's shell. Instead, the poor tortoise smashed Aeschylus' shell! What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen tortoise dropped by an eagle?
Louis III Of France
While many Louis' of France have met a grisly end, Louis III met his end after hitting his head on the lintel of a door and fracturing his skull. He was reportedly pursuing (on horseback) a disinterested (fleeing) mademoiselle at the time. I can hear Meat Loaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" ringing in my ears.
Pope Adrian IV
Pope Adrian IV was the only Englishman to ever serve as Pope, serving from 1154 until his passing in 1159. Apparently, the only English Pope died choking on a fly, while drinking spring water. If that's not a sign that the English and the Church weren't going to get along, I don't know what is.
Henry I Of Castile
Henry I of Castile was merely 13 years old when he became King of Castile, a Spanish enclave during the Middle Ages. He would perish in 1217, when a loose roof tile fell on him, slaying him instantly. I wonder whether the roofer was executed.
Hans Staininger
Once a chief magistrate of Braunau (modern-day Austria), Hans Staininger's beard would be his literal downfall. This monstrosity of male facial hair was 4.5 feet long and had to be kept rolled up in a leather pouch as Hans went about his daily business. One day, in 1567, Hans' beard came loose from its pouch—he tripped over it and broke his neck. Maybe that should be the advertisement for Gillette.
Henry II Of France
What is it with Henrys and unusual deaths? This time, another Henry (because originality was apparently not a thing among royal households in Europe during the Renaissance) was wounded by a jousting lance to the eye during a friendly(!) joust with the captain of the King's Scottish Guard. He was apparently operated on by royal surgeons who then thought they'd done enough, and adopted a 'wait and see' strategy. Ten days later, Henry of France succumbed to sepsis.
George Plantagenet, Duke Of Clarence
George Plantagenet's demise by drowning in a barrel of wine might be one of the most unusual ways to die, in that it was his chosen method of execution. I mean, there's being a devil for the drink and then there's "Yes, I'd like my last moments to be literally filled with Malmsey wine, please. Cheers!"
Charles VIII Of France
What is it with French kings and running into structural support beams? Charles VIII of France met his end after striking his head against a concrete lintel while on his way to watch a game of tennis. I know a few tennis fans who can at least sympathize with the King's excitement over the game.
Sir Francis Bacon
Despite his namesake, Sir Francis Bacon actually died via raw chicken. He stuffed a raw chicken carcass with snow to see if the snow could preserve meat, and then succumbed to pneumonia. Another win for actual bacon...
Arthur Aston
Arthur Aston was an English soldier who supported King Charles I during the English Civil War (1642-1651). He was reportedly beaten to death by Oliver Cromwell's soldiers with his own wooden leg because Cromwell suspected there to be gold hidden inside the leg. I suppose that's one way to find out.
Thomas Urquhart
Thomas Urquhart was one of the first men to translate the writing of French author Francoise Rabelais into English. He passsed on in 1660, apparently from laughing very hard at the news that King Charles II had taken the throne of England.
Molière
The French playwright, Jean-Baptiste Poquelin, known affectionately as Molière, perished on-stage during a play wherein the character he was playing was a hypochondriac. Eager to keep up the role, Molière continued playing the part of a hypochondriac even though he was suffering from a pulmonary embolism from tuberculosis. The character was supposed to slump over in a chair, dead, which Molière did, permanently. An A+ for realistic acting.
James Betts
Apparently, young James Betts had won the affection of a lady named Elizabeth Spencer while they were at Corpus Christi College in London. Her father was the head of the college at the time and whilst hiding from him, Spencer sealed Betts inside a cupboard, which she then either forgot to or couldn't open. Betts died of asphyxiation. We hear you, Meat Loaf, we hear you.
Hannah Twynnoy
"Barmaid mauled to death by a tiger!" isn't something you'd expect to see written in an English newspaper. Okay, so we don't know if that was a headline, but 33-year-old barmaid Hannah Twynnoy was mauled by a tiger while bartending at (wait for it) The White Lion in Malmesbury, Wiltshire.
Professor Georg Wilhelm Richmann
Another scientist slain by his own invention was physicist Georg Richmann, in 1753. He created a globe of ball lightning in his laboratory, which fatally struck him in the forehead.
Tycho Brahe
Tycho Brahe was a bit of a strange egg, but the way in which he passed was even stranger. He may have been the first recorded person to perish while attempting to pass a kidney stone. Tycho fell ill after attending a banquet in Prague and passed on eleven days later in what was likely unbearable pain. His obstruction could have come from refusing to leave the banquet to relieve himself due to that being considered poor etiquette.
Unnamed Concubine Of King Tetui Of Mangaia
Taken out by falling coconuts. Literally. Reportedly, an unnamed concubine of the King of Mangaia (an island in the Cooke Islands) met her end after being struck in the head by falling coconuts, in 1777.
Samuel Spencer
In 1793, a former colonel in North Carolina, Sam Spencer was resting on a porch, wearing a red cap. The sleeping, bobbing head of the colonel caught the eye of a particularly angry turkey who saw Spencer as a threat. The turkey killed Spencer by mauling him with its talons. The next Christmas dinner will be for you, Sam.
Jane Goodwin
This Scottish woman passed on due to a lack of oxygen while wearing a corset that was too tight for her. She met her end in a church pew in Dundee, Scotland, in 1844.
Mathilde Of Austria
In June of 1867, Mathilde of Austria was attempting to hide her smoking habit from her father, the Duke of Teschen, when she set her own dress on fire. The fire burned Mathilde so badly that she succumbed to her injuries. Smoking kills, folks.
An Unknown Iraqi Male
On August 22, 1888, a shower of meteorites fell on an Iraqi village. After the shower, at least one Iraqi man was confirmed to be deceased. He remains the only person to perish by meteorite strike in recorded history.
Isaack Rabbanovitch
Possibly the origin of the "bear hug", Isaack Rabbanovitch was a Russian who attempted to disarm a bear that had wandered into an inn and began drinking the booze. He was gripped and hugged by the drunken bear who slew him, along with his two sons and daughter (whom we can only assume tried to help).
Bridget Driscoll
In 1896, the Anglo-French Motor Carriage Company was performing demonstrations on the streets of London, just outside of Hyde Park when a carriage fatally struck Bridget Driscoll. She was the first person to lose their life having been struck by a motor vehicle in Britain. Maybe the company was demonstrating how not to drive around busy city streets.
Jesse William Lazear
There's a commitment to science, and then there are people like Jesse William Lazear, who allowed himself to be bitten by mosquitoes to prove that they did indeed carry yellow fever. Lazear passed on a few days after being bitten from—you guessed it—yellow fever. Theory: proven, emphatically.
Benjamin Taylor A Bell
When the sign says, "Please Use Other Door", you really should. A sign saying such a thing would have saved the life of Benjamin Taylor Bell, who in March of 1904, perished after walking through the wrong door and falling down an elevator shaft.
Franz Reichelt
There's an incredible amount of confidence in oneself required for a demise like Franz Reichelt. After fashioning his own parachute from cloth, Franz climbed atop the Eiffel Tower to showcase that his invention worked. He was cautioned by friends to use a dummy, but stated, "I intend to prove the worth of my invention." The 'parachute' failed and Reichelt plummeted. That's a long way down to think about the value of the advice of friends.
Basil Brown
In 1974, Basil Brown was a 48-year-old health food advocate living in London. He succumbed to liver damage after consuming way too much vitamin A and around 10 gallons of carrot juice in three days. He was suffering from jaundice at the time of his demise. Not so much Basil Brown anymore as Basil Yellow.
Tina Christopherson
One of the only people to perish from water intoxication or hyperhydration, Tina Christopherson met her end in 1977 after drinking over four gallons of water per day to combat stomach cancer. This excessive drinking of water causes an electrolyte imbalance and disrupts brain function.
Robert Williams
Before Will Smith and iRobot, there was Robert Williams. In 1978, Williams was working in the Ford plant in Michigan, when he was struck in the head and slain by a robotic arm. He's the first known person to be slain by a robot. And now they drive cars by themselves.
David Grundman
David Grundman may well have won a Darwin Award if there was such a thing in 1982. Grundman was firing his rifle at a cacti in Lake Pleasant Regional Park in Arizona when the four-foot high cacti detached from its base and fell on him.
Garry Loy
This Toronto lawyer wanted to demonstrate the "unbreakable" nature of his 24th-floor office windows. They were indeed unbreakable, but were not properly installed and so popped out, causing Loy to fall to his doom.
Mark Gleeson
Mark Gleeson of Headley Down, Hampshire, England, had an unusual method to cure his snoring—by shoving tampons up his nose, combined with a cocktail of sleeping pills. This left Gleeson unable to breathe properly through his nose and slowed his breathing and heart rate to the point of death.
Alberto Fargo
I've often held that dancing might be dangerous for one's health (not really, I'm just not very good at it), and the demise of Alberto Fargo proves my case! While trying to perform the tango for his dance class, he fell from a fifth-storey window. Apparently, Fargo was demonstrating how to maintain focus on movement while keeping their head up high and failed to notice the open window.
Michael Colombini
File this one under medical malpractice. Six-year-old Michael Colombini passed on in 2001 at Westchester Medical Center in New York, after an oxygen tank was magnetically pulled into an MRI machine, crushing him.
Phillip Quinn
One does not heat a lava lamp via the stove—as Phillip Quinn learned, or rather didn't, in 2004. He was heating the lava lamp on the stove when the glass shattered and a shard pierced his heart.
Mildred Bowman And Alice Wardle
While we might think of Murphy beds as practical, space-saving machines, for Mildred Bowman and Alice Wardle, they were instruments of their demise. In August 2005, in their hotel room in Benidorm, Spain, the two women, aged 62 and 68 respectively, were trapped inside their Murphy bed after it collapsed. Unable to free themselves or call for help, they both suffocated.
Humberto Hernandez
Oakland, California, 2007: Humberto Hernandez is fatally struck by an airborne fire hydrant that was accidentally hit by a passing car. The water pressure caused the hydrant to fly through the air, striking Hernandez.
Do you remember hearing about a Darwin Award or other story about an unusual or unfortunate death? What's the best one you've got? Let us know in the comments!