We all have skeletons in our closets, some more than others. From hilarious belongings to chilling letters, these Redditors uncovered shocking secrets that they were never supposed to see.
1. Not My Kind Of Pickle
I found a pickled baby that was supposedly my "4x great uncle" that was stillborn when his family was involved in a scientific field. It's in his basement and I refuse to go anywhere near it. They managed to get away with it through some loophole that allowed them to list a formaldehyde container as a form of burial and so he's been that way for supposedly over 100 years. But that’s not the weirdest part.
My family preserved it in the hopes of one day finding a way to bring him back to life by some miracle.
2. A Blood Bath
My ex-husband had tubes of fake blood. I thought it was weird when I found them stuffed in the closet, but I didn't say anything because it was not far off from Halloween. However, it wasn’t long before that blood came back to haunt me. Our marriage was over and I caught him cheating. I decided to leave. I went back to get some belongings—and made the most disturbing discovery.
My husband had staged an accident with the fake blood on the kitchen floor (he was a total nut job) to make me feel bad for leaving. He waited until I showed up and had an open bottle of Tylenol and fake blood all over his body as though he’d taken his own life. Well, he wasn’t fooling me. I banged on the window and told him to get up and stop playing stupid games.
Unsurprisingly, he started twitching and the life came back into him. He crawls to open the door mumbling he needs to go to the hospital. I step over him and grab my belongings. I find the tubes of blood thrown in the bathroom trash can and threw them at him on the way out.
3. A Skeleton In The Closet
I found out that my husband was keeping a human skeleton. It was in his bedroom closet for weeks when we were hooking up and I didn’t know. Just hanging from this neat little hardware apparatus he made special just to display it. When I asked him how it got there, he said it was from the local university science department, only they were getting rid of a bunch of bone specimens in the 80s, including a skeleton that was missing the skull and rib cage.
My husband, weird and talented kid that he was, proceeded to repair the skeleton with the other human bone specimens. So it’s made of pieces of no less than three deceased people. Consider this next time you go out with a goth. Sometimes they really mean it.
4. Last Words
Not a spouse, but a roommate. My old roommate, who worked in construction, left a continuing learning binder that he was supposed to bring to work that day on the couch. My boyfriend went to move it to his room and a piece of notebook paper that was stapled together fell out of it. It looked terribly ominous.
The front of the letter said his name and “Last Words”. Panicked, I was like, “Just open it”. Sure enough, it was this letter about how, “If you’re reading this, I’m gone,” and had some stuff about remembering the good times and what he wanted done with his stuff. We are freaking out at this point and trying to call him but get no answer.
We’re calling our friends and trying to get in touch with him for 15 minutes but nothing. We started digging through his room for any clues about what his work number was, and luckily we found a piece of paper with the info on it. We called and asked if he showed up to work and they said yes. We told them it was an emergency and to have him call us.
About five minutes later, we get the call and talk to him and are just in tears asking what the letter is about and telling him we love him. It was a draft of a letter he had to write and keep on file at work because the type of work he did was dangerous. They’d been having safety issues and his entire team was told to write them during their continuing education classes that week.
He laughed so hard and we were just bawling our eyes out, lol. I watched him like a hawk after that, not entirely sure that he was telling the truth about the letter. I reached out to others who worked in similar fields and they stated that it can be standard at certain places.
It was such a stressful event but we were just glad he was okay. It’s a funny story to tell now, but it was terrifying in the moment.
5. Don’t Keep It Bottled Up
On the day I kicked my ex-boyfriend out, I was removing his things when I stumbled across something that sent a chill down my spine: hidden bottles of urine in the back of the closet. Naturally horrified, I started checking and sure enough I found even more behind the couch, the curtains, and the radiator. There was urine hidden in bleach bottles and under the sinks in the back of the cabinet.
I also found one in the freezer and since I was throwing out my entire fridge, wretching, I'm gonna assume there was some in there too. No idea why to this day. None. Zero. No weird hint, absolutely nothing.
Pexels
6. Karmic Crash
Okay hear me out, I NEVER go through my significant other’s phone. I haven't before this and I won’t in the future. Okay, so, rewind back to 2011. I’m fresh out of high school and dating the girl of my dreams. We're hanging at her house, just chillin’ and passing time, and while she's in the shower, she gets a text. No biggie, happens all the time. But another comes through…and then another. All in rapid succession.
So maybe it's serious, I look at her phone and the name is "Matt”. My heart drops. Matt was her most recent ex. Still, I’m an idiot and think, okay, maybe something happened with his family, they're close.
I open her phone and I see, "Cool, I didn't want X coming anyway”. And sure enough, I see, "I'm gonna tell him the beach trip got called off. We're leaving in like an hour and he'll go home”.
Oh. Oh okay, I see how it is. So, she gets out of the shower and I just hold up the texts. Of course, her first go-to was, "How dare you look at my phone etc etc etc”. But here's the kicker. She still went and tried to sleep with Matt. However, during the trip, she hit bad storms and crashed her car off a very tall off-ramp. She and her friends are all lucky to be alive. But what did they do?
They called me and blamed it on me and my "bad vibes”. Meanwhile, I was asleep on my couch, high as heck, watching Inception. Nice try Ashley, karma was looking out for you and your terrible friends.
7. The Escape Plan
When my ex and I lived together I found a box with a single set of dishes under his side of the bed. When I asked him about it, he said he was keeping them just in case he decided to break up with me so that he could leave at the drop of a hat at any given moment. I remember the conversation, he seemed so nonchalant about it all. Turned out to be a total sociopath.
8. I’ve Got A Pocket, Got a Pocketful…
I knew my now-wife in middle school and flirted around through high school. I moved away my sophomore year and came back three years later. We both married (other people) and never reconnected. After several years, we both ended up divorced and one evening I was visiting my hometown and ran into her.
We agreed to get together the next week—but I had no clue the surprise she had in store for me.
During our first date, she pulled a dead bird out of her pocket. I asked for an explanation and there wasn’t one?? She was just like, "I don’t know, why not keep a dead pigeon with you”?
It was in a sandwich bag at least.
9. Buggin’ Out
My husband would go in the closet randomly for like 10-15 minutes at the most random times and I’d hear him open and shut a drawer. He left for work one day—and I open the drawer expecting to see naughty magazines or something. Nope! Audubon Society reference books for insects and arachnids. He was looking up bugs he’d seen throughout the day.
My heart almost exploded it was the cutest thing. He had never mentioned it and didn’t for a while, until one day he ran in and said he got bit by a weird spider and told me to get the book out of his drawer. It’d been so long, I forgot about the book. I got it and it was just a run-of-the-mill spider. Then he showed me all his Audubon society books.
So now he’ll get his books out and look at all the bugs he saw while he’s in the living room. It’s his and my daughter’s bonding time.
10. The Doll Room
A collection of dolls. Like hundreds of them, all types, mostly made of cloth/stuffing, some plastic, some glass, some beanie baby style, but all "human", no fantasy or animals allowed. Apparently she had been collecting them as a child and kept it going. So when we visit a new city or country, she will get a doll or something that is from that area.
We dated for like four years before we got married and I didn't know she had this many. Her apartment just had a room that she called “the doll room” and I never really questioned it. Now I have a room I call “the collection room” so that I don't have to explain to people why I have hundreds of dolls and that my lovely wife is not creepy despite having tiny figurines.
After that, I didn't feel as weird about springing my massive comic book and Star Trek collection on her. Our kids are going to have a lot to deal with when we die.
11. A Sordid Obsession
I found photos of my sister, without a stitch of clothing on, in his phone. My now ex-husband had looked through my younger sister’s phone while she was staying with us, sent her private pictures to his phone, deleted the proof from her phone to avoid detection, and shared them with two friends. Oh, but it gets worse. When I found them, he blamed our six-year-old. Our SIX-YEAR-OLD.
Sure, our child had the wherewithal to do this, then text them to his dad's buddy saying, "Remember her? She was in the wedding" ...a wedding that took place years before he was even born. He is a severely malignant covert narcissist, with serious issues with intimacy and obsession. I made sure he was never around my family again. Pics were scrubbed instantly, I even went after his friends.
He's a super sneaky, problematic creepsack whom I divorced in 2013 and he still tries to make my life a living hell. This is just one of countless stories of horrible things that man has done in and after the 11-year marriage ended. And I still haven't been able to bring myself to tell my sister, or anyone in the family after so many years. I just never knew how.
I had/have so much shame just being associated with him, but grateful to have gotten away. Don't ignore red flags and trust your gut. If there's any feeling of uncertainty, walk away and keep walking.
12. Sailin’ Away
I knew a quiet couple. Each summer, they used to vacation two weeks apart. Life is good, happy wife, happy life. Four kids growing up, and they do well getting their own careers and family. Great family, great people. And then about two summers ago, a tragedy strikes. The father suddenly passes due to a brain aneurysm.
The family mourns and they start going through his things. That’s when they found it.
The mother finds a receipt and key for warehouse storage. A large one, the largest one they had on the lot. This is in the middle of Sweden, by the way. She calls the company and asks about it and if she can visit it and see what it’s about. She didn't know what it could be as in as everything was accounted for. Turns out, it was a sailboat valued at $250,000 USD.
Dude had been sailin' all these years when he vacationed alone. He had never mentioned that he sailed, turned out that he was a stand-up guy, loved and cared for at the wharf close to the sailboat’s location.
13. The Heart Of A Lion
When I first started dating my husband, eight years ago, I gave him a lion keychain that I had as a “stay safe” present while he went out to sea on the naval ship. This was my first time experiencing him going out to sea, so I was worried and the present gave me a bit of solace while he was away. Furthermore, he explained to me that the lion reminded him of me because of my wild hair.
Not that long ago, he was cleaning his backpack out from work on the kitchen table and to my surprise, I saw the lion keychain with the rest of his stuff. I told him how shocked I was that he still had that lion and in which he just replied, “I mean, yeah”? He then explained to me that the lion keychain has been in his work backpack all this time and he has taken it on deployments too.
So that is the most shocking thing I found in my spouse’s possession…a small lion plush keychain that I gave my husband eight years ago as a “stay safe” present.
Flickr, Marco Verch Professional Photographer
14. Lost, Not Found
There is something I worry about my husband and kids finding. I was very mentally unwell about seven years ago and was convinced I was going to die.
So, I wrote my husband and children each a letter telling them how much I loved them and a few of my crazy ramblings, (I also thought I could time travel at the time so I can guarantee something about that is probably in there) and then I hid them. But here’s the kicker.
I was disassociating the entire time and my memory of that time is so foggy, I have no idea where I hid them. I’ve searched and I can't find them anywhere.
15. Bottle It Up
My partner put a bunch of stuff in jars of other stuff, but it was always like bananas in ketchup or the light bulb in tomato juice…Until the day it took a very dark turn. I knew I’d found the worst of the worst when I discovered a three-year dead rat in half a jar of mayonnaise.
16. Bye Girl, Bye
I found a notebook with a partially finished letter describing in detail how she cheated on me and how she wasn't happy in the relationship. I called her at work and asked about it and she confirmed it was true. I was packed and gone before she got home. Luckily, I moved three hours away with my best friend and have had a great time since then.
17. The Biggest Red Flag
A creeper van. When we first started dating there was always an unmarked white van parked somewhere around his apartment. As a woman who values her safety, I stayed well clear of it. Those things are not to be trusted.
Three or four months later, I learn the shocking reality. My very nice boyfriend owns this very suspicious vehicle. Apparently, he used to drive his stuff across the country when he moved here. He doesn't drive it, but kept having to move it because he kept getting chalk lines on his tires by the local traffic cops because someone kept reporting it for not moving, despite the fact he had nowhere besides the street to store it.
He didn't want to tell me about it because he thought it would make him look creepy. He only told me when I eventually let slip I thought it was sketch. The best part of all?
He ended up selling it to buy my engagement ring!
18. Grandma’s Jewels
To my horror, I discovered my grandmother’s costume jewelry in one of my partner’s suit pockets. He’d pilfered it when I took him to meet her. I had never so much as lied to that woman in my life. One of the items of jewelry I found was a locket with perfume inside that my grandma wore for church every Sunday. She was the only one who ever nurtured and loved me when my parents could not.
She did this in every way imaginable. At 65 years old I still open that locket and close my eyes sometimes and that is priceless to me.
19. Double-Crossed
This wasn’t me, but my friend’s neighbor, we lived on the same street, so I always saw the guy. Old man and wife, lived on a corner lot, both retired. Everything paid off, the old man had no worries in the world and was set for the rest of his life. I used to see him cutting his yard daily almost every morning, just to be doing something. Well, when his wife passed, he found out the horrible truth.
The last 10 years of retirement, the wife had given hundreds of thousands of dollars to their daughter, and when their cash ran out, remortgaged the house and given that money as well. I heard the daughter had issues, obviously. He was beyond broke. The bank foreclosed on his house, and last I heard, he had to move in with someone.
This is the second time I’ve known where the wife gave all their money to their children without the husband knowing.
20. Not Just Any Jersey
I’m a huge Buffalo Bills fan. My wife is too, but she wasn’t always into football as she is now. We’ve been together nearly 10 years now. My brother recently gave me an old Doug Flutie jersey because it doesn’t fit him anymore. It’s kinda beat up, but still cool. When I showed it to her she said, “Oh, that reminds me, I have an old jersey laying around somewhere”.
She went looking for it and when she returned with it in hand, I almost lost it. It’s an Eric Moulds jersey, still in perfect condition. I couldn’t believe she just had an Eric Moulds jersey just sitting in the closet and I never knew. Those of you who don’t know football or the Bills, Eric Moulds is a legendary player and one of the best receivers the Bills ever had.
I can’t believe she just had that hiding away in the closet and I didn’t know. She knew he was an old Bills player but had no idea about his legacy.
Flickr, New York National Guard
21. Bunny’s Secret
My husband comes off as a manly guy who's pretty minimalistic. He collects pistols, plays games, and that's pretty much it. But if an item is not constantly useful or won't be used often, he usually doesn't have said item. So I was surprised to find a cute if well-worn stuffed bunny amongst his belongings. Originally, I teased him, telling him I knew he liked cute things. But his sad smile hid a darker story.
He explained that it was his as a kid and that it was his favorite stuffed animal. He also held and cried into that bunny when his father passed as a kid. He hasn't had the heart to get rid of it and plans to give it to our child when we have one someday.
I was rather touched by it and never expected to find such a cute yet sweet thing like a stuffed animal with a sad story attached.
22. Two Baby Mamas
He always wanted me to do yoga and insisted we go to certain places and eat food. And that’s when I found out his awful secret. Turns out, his ex shared all the same interests. She was doing yoga. She liked going to those same places and ate the same food I ate. But that wasn’t the most devastating part. When I discovered his affair, I was pregnant…and she’d just given birth to their second child.
So yeah, I found out all of this in his phone that he gave me and when he was confronted. He thought it would be better for me to find out for myself. He's still around, asking for forgiveness for the last four years, regretting that he shouldn't have ruined things with me and insisting that I was the best for him. He is a great dad though, but as a partner...NOPE. Co-parenting is the best decision I made for our relationship.
23. The Back Of The Drawer
Going through my ex’s stuff (which she had refused to go through—taking what she wanted, but leaving me to sift through everything as I purged her from my place), I found gifts I gave her that had literally been opened once and stuffed in her nightstand. Back of the drawer. Stuff I’d put real thought into. Also, gift cards sent to our kids by relatives. Quite a few over years. I doubt they even have any value anymore.
I just put them in her boxes, because like no way was going to explain that to my kids…
24. Hidden Pain
I discovered something in my wife’s belongings that just broke my heart: A journal where she chronicled her pain after a failed pregnancy. In it, she speaks of how she'd never get through it without me being strong for her (I never cried in front of her, only solo). I had to because of a few "friends" who got pregnant and thought that us still being upset was a slight to them.
I had to pull it together quick when she walked in after I put it away. She isn't a sappy type. She tells me she loves me, but never how much I mean to her, so seeing that melted me. Oh, and on the lighter side, she also has a calendar post that says "Yeah baby”! on the date of our first time in the bedroom. She's amazing.
25. Where Is The Love?
I found my wife’s self-help book "How to deal with a loveless marriage". That stung, because I loved her more than life itself. I wasn't the best husband but I was doing the best I could in a big crazy chaotic family and clearly all that effort didn't mean anything to her. Things got better between us afterwards and we were in a good place before she passed unexpectedly.
I got left to be a single dad of five kids with no support network. Still a little bit bitter about getting left with this mess that I'm not suited to handle. I love my kids, and I do the best I can with them, but it's not the same.
26. Sucked Dry
Oh, my partner really did me dirty. I found months of credit card bills, for cards I had paid off. I worked three jobs while she was on "disability", and she threw the bills away when they came in. Oddly enough, she was fine enough to email other guys and meet guys to go dancing every weekend while I worked. 40k plus the divorce costs...
Oh, and the absurdly large “toy” under the couch. Thankfully, still in the package. Chucked her and the toy.
27. He Shattered Me
My husband at the time fell in our glass shower, shattering it and I took him to the hospital. I was at work when it happened. I smelled that he’d been drinking when he wasn’t supposed to (medication, bipolar, and doctor’s orders). He denied it all and told hospital staff he wasn’t drinking. We spend all night in the hospital—but when I arrived home, I had to face a bloody and glass horror scene.
I’m cleaning up the shower and find part of a silver necklace. He did not wear jewelry ever. He flipped out and accused me of putting it there to cause issues. I did have trust issues. Well, he successfully gaslit me and I let it go. Then about a month or so later, I find evidence of cheating. He went through a Taco Bell drive-thru and befriended a 19-year-old girl (I was 24 at the time in great shape and the breadwinner).
He potentially slipped her something and had her in the shower with him and she confirmed it was her necklace, that they were drinking, and that he told her we were already divorced but cohabitating until the lease was up. I mean we had pictures of us together everywhere in the apartment so she learned a lesson too and I wasn’t upset with her.
But I kicked him out and started the divorce process the day I found out, of course.
28. Loaning To A Loser
Our basement flooded, so while cleaning, I noticed my husband had this old blackberry in a box with the charger. So I plugged it in—and got the shock of a lifetime. I found text messages between him and his best man, who ghosted him. Discovered that he loaned this loser 20k and said loser hasn’t paid back a dime. Oh, but it gets worse.
We were going through a bankruptcy and discovered our oldest needed out-of-pocket therapy for autism spectrum-related reasons and this guy refused to respond to the texts. I’m heartbroken for my husband, because he loved this guy.
29. A Bag Full Of Trouble
I stayed home one day from work, and decided to do the laundry. I found 50 or so little baggies of what turned out to be tranquilizers. I’d had my suspicions, but this just confirmed it. Usually by the time we got home from work, my wife was halfway comatose. But the baggies were just the tip of the iceberg. After finishing the laundry, I began finding little bags of pills in the pockets of many clothes hanging in the closet.
Just as I was sitting down to have a “discussion with her,” a hypodermic needle rolled out of her purse and onto the table. I was in a controlled explosive rage at that point. "I'm holding it for a friend," she said. I know who that guy is, he's using her! He’d already left town a couple days ago, and dumped his hypo into her hands! I took it from her and said, “I'll deal with this”.
On my way to work the next day, I stopped on the side of the road, found a big old rotten tree trunk in the woods, made a big hole it, and put the hypo in the hole. I told myself, no one will ever find that! Her father, just like mine, was a heavy drinker. I can see why she did a bit of self-medicating, but that's not the answer to life. Within two years, our marriage was over.
30. The Notebook
You can imagine my dismay when I found a small notebook with names of guys she’d cheated on me with. Along with what they liked, what they didn't like, dates, where I was during, her reasoning, and finally a list of people she thought I was cheating on her with at the time. The most messed-up part was not that the majority of them were my friends, but that it started two days after we started dating.
On one hand I felt enraged that so many of the guys I called friends were sleeping with her behind my back. On the other, I'm just glad I never went through with proposing a year into dating.
31. Imaginary Friends
My ex had this ongoing lie that I think she actually began to believe. It was scary. I found letters and large art sheets filled with love declarations to her deceased best friend Roxy. But here’s the crazy part. Roxy wasn’t even a real person. My ex had made her up for sympathy/attention.
32. Down The Rabbit Hole
My husband had a whole other identity and persona online that he used to date women, take them to five-star hotels, vacations, etc. Meanwhile, I was wearing jeans and shirts with holes in them, and the same shoes for years, and had an “allowance” of 100 a week to buy everything I needed for our son, cats and I. But he would spend a whole month of my allowance on a single night in a hotel with these women.
It was heartbreaking to discover the truth. I truly loved him with all my heart and had been there with him since he was just new at his job and not making that much. We built a life together. We got married. I had his child. Unfortunately, that is when the nightmare started.
It took me a long time to discover just how deep the rabbit hole went. Even now, years later, I still get this weird feeling in my throat when I think of all the lies and how this person I had built up in my mind didn’t even really exist. I actually didn’t know him at all.
33. A Fake Hero
I got divorced in October after nine years of marriage. Yesterday, I was going through some things and found his DD-214. Apparently he failed out of boot camp and was never awarded any medals, ribbons or other awards. Why is this shocking you are probably wondering? Because the whole nine years we were married, he told me all about the horrors from his deployment…
According to him, he’d watched some of his friends horrifically pass from IEDs and been terribly injured himself. There were many, many stories that I now know were 100% fictional. I’m so mad that I just feel numb about it and I don’t even know how to feel……
34. Thou Art A Fraud
He claimed to be an artist and claimed to admire the old Art Nouveau movement and the Golden Age of illustration, as did I. He didn’t like to doodle nor paint with me, but enjoyed criticizing my realistic but stylistic pencil and charcoal drawings. He tatted himself and gave a lot of people "original" tats he claimed were all his design. I recognized one tat but couldn't place it at the time.
Then, when I was busy moving him to help make a happy living situation for us, and he wasn't lifting a finger, I discovered all of his "artwork" on tracing paper and magazine clippings in his strange cabinet stuffed in his closet. So much of my heart just crumbled that day.
35. Double Life
When my husband passed in a workplace accident, he was in another state. When I got his belongings, I discovered his secret. There were answering machine messages from a woman thanking him for being so amazing, and for dinner, etc. Then on his computer, I found emails and text messages from several women. I was pregnant and dealing with grief already. Then suddenly, I had this anger at him that I could obviously do nothing with.
Everyone told me you can't be mad at a deceased person. But it was confusing.
36. Crab Phobia
A rubber crab. My wife is freaked out by crabs. Apparently, her mom has been hiding it in her stuff for years to scare her and has become a game between them of hiding it somewhere the other person will eventually find it. Occasionally, I’ll be looking for something and stumble across it in a new place. First time I found it, it was in the dog treats two years into our marriage. I was very confused because she had not informed me of their game yet.
37. Undercover Artist
I found a notebook full of beautiful sketches of trees, rivers, landscapes, animals, and people. He didn't tell me he was an artist, so I was a bit shocked to find out that he was so talented.
38. Double Whammy
My sister’s husband crashed his car, freaked out, and took his own life with a pistol he had in the glove box. But that wasn’t the only tragedy.
A few weeks later, we found out he had been cheating on her with both men and women, with the worst thing being him using HER Facebook account to talk to teenage girls. We were all beyond shocked.
39. An Inside Job
I was a relationship banker for a little while (guy at the desk inside a branch). We would help people with account issues and such all the time. One time, this guy comes in saying there’s been a huge mistake with his checking account, there’s $80,000 missing! This seems crazy, and if it’s fraud, they likely would have caught something that big before letting the cash leave the account.
I pull up the account and see that it is a joint account with his wife and that she is the one who withdrew the money. Now, we had a rule that you could not reveal the nature of transactions like that on joint accounts. All I could say was that it was not fraud. Dude was shook, he was saying it must be fraud, etc. I just say that I can see the transaction withdrawing the funds and it is all above board.
When it dawned on him his face just went white and he says I just saw my wife this morning at breakfast (the withdrawal has been that morning right at 9 am). I didn’t say anything and asked if he wanted to speak with my manager, which he declined.
40. Ringing In The Memories
I bought my mom a pretty gold ring with diamonds around the band for Mother's Day one year. She wore it all the time. My mom loved simple delicate rings. One day I noticed that she wasn't wearing it. I asked her and she just started crying.
She said I'm so sorry Bran, I lost it. I was hoping to find it before you had noticed, I've looked everywhere and it's gone. She beat herself up about it for a long time. A few years later she passed and I had to go through all of her things in her bedroom. I got to her bedside table, which had two drawers. I start going through them, I get to the bottom of the last drawer and guess what was there?
The ring I had got for her. I sat there and cried and cried and cried some more. My mom has been gone for eight years now and I still wear the ring I got for her.
41. Pulling A Columbo
I was shocked to find six credit cards in my name I didn't apply for. New accountant pulled a Columbo and busted the soon-to-be ex after discovering 60K in hidden CC debt. Cut up all the cards in her wallet right there in her office and handed me the business card of an attorney-client she recommended.
"You'll be glad you did," was all she said as I got up to leave. She's still my accountant after 23 years.
42. Hitting The Jackpot
When we moved in together, she knew I was bringing my workshop (console repair) to the basement and said she has some games in a box around there somewhere. When I saw what she actually had, my jaw hit the floor.
She had nearly a thousand dollars worth of Gameboy games, a ps2 and Wii collection, among other stuff. She admitted that she never knew you could sell your games back to the stores, so when she finished playing them they went to the basement.
43. Don’t Toy With Me
I found a small thin rod that was attached to a plastic base when we were moving from our apartment to our house. The metal rod portion was covered with a thin plastic sheath. For all the world, it looked like some sort of naughty toy which brought up the question "Why have we never used this”??
I was stupidly apprehensive about anal play for the first few years we dated and in that time she had kind of cooled on it so nothing major ever happened on that end. I decided to try and be coy and showed it to her and asked if she wanted to take a little break "wink wink" and she busted up laughing.
My wife has to take daily HGH injections and it turns out that what I thought was a toy was actually an agitator that was part of mixing her meds together on a delivery system she used before we started dating. She was thoroughly amused and spent the rest of the night asking me if I thought various objects were toys as well.
44. Sneaky Romantic
A short note I had written her on our 3rd date. Apparently, I was waiting in her car for her to come out of work so I wrote a short note about how much fun I am having dating her and how gorgeous she always looks. It was late in the evening so I stuck it in her sunglasses case for her to find at a later time that week. Okay this was like from 15 years ago. Man, I was romantic.
45. Poetic Irony
My partner always used to mock me for writing poetry, so I felt completely betrayed when I found the poetry he’d written for his ex.
46. Toe-tally Nasty
This might be the most disgusting confession I’ve ever made. My ex-boyfriend had a tin full of his toenail clippings that he for some reason saved. There. I said it. I might hurl again.
47. A Chilling Letter
I am currently cleaning out the attic and getting the house ready to sell due to divorce after 40 years of marriage (my husband cheated…twice). I found a box of his things from before we met: school report cards, boy scout memorabilia, Archie comics…and something so horrifying I’ll never forget it. I picked up a handwritten letter from his older sister. I wish I’d never read it.
The letter detailed her intimate relationship with my husband and his best friend throughout his high school years. She wrote that she wanted him to think of her every time he was with another woman. And now her lack of warmth towards me throughout our marriage makes more sense.
48. Private Investigator
A couple of years back, I had a boyfriend who hired a private investigator to follow me around and take photos of me going in and out of buildings. He snapped a picture of me talking to family, visiting a Starbucks, and working out at the gym. I found all of these photos in his suitcase when I went inside to borrow a legal pad.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt that brand of violation ever in my life. It was like everything I knew about him just got twisted. I waited a day, then I confronted him. Then the rest of it came up, more secrets.
An ex-wife I didn’t know about, a daughter, plans to ask me to transfer colleges abroad to some college I didn’t know. We’d only been dating for four months but it still made me feel like I’d fallen into a nest of spiders thinking it was an open field.
I left him very shortly after, mostly because I just felt like nothing about him was real anymore. I didn’t want to know more. I felt at the time that the less I knew about him, the safer I’d be.
49. Panty Party
My wife was packing up a bunch of my old music equipment during our last move about fifteen years ago. When she came to me with this shocked look on her face, I knew I was in for it. She found a cluster of about twenty pairs of women's underwear in the back of a burned-out, old Peavey guitar amp. I definitely had some explaining to do.
They were, technically, mine. Not because I wear women's underwear, but because I used to live in a party house and things got crazy a couple of weekends in a row where the girls at the party disrobed and left their underpants behind during some drinking game. I remember picking them up and putting them in the back of the amp. Mostly because I was an inebriated, lazy 20-year-old.
I hadn’t really intended to keep them, but I guess I never got around to tossing them out. And there they stayed until my wife found them years later. It made for a pretty absurd Saturday morning when she found them.
50. I Know I’m Not The Only One
I’d been dating this girl for six months. I could tell she was preoccupied and wanted to end our relationship, so I decided to do some snooping. While she’s in the shower, I creep into the closet—and my jaw DROPS. I find a whole collection of dangerous munitions—everything you could think of. Then I find a “USMC” wooden plaque and framed wedding photos.
This broad was married to a Marine Corp reservist who was deployed.
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