Petty Geniuses Gaming The System
Ever heard of the phrase "malicious compliance"? Essentially, it means working within the system and following its rules...to ultimately point out just how stupid they are. Not only did these petty geniuses get to annoying the person in their way—they also brought us some truly glorious results.
1. Let Your Freak Flag Fly
Due to some neighbors flying “Black Lives Matter” flags as well as “Thin Blue Line” flags and other opinion flags, our Home Owner’s Association decided last month that we’re only allowed to fly the USA flag, and nothing else.
The day after the decision, we received an email that someone reported our Pride flag (that we had on our house since 2016), and that we needed to take it down.
We complied and removed the flag. Looking through our new rules, however, we noticed that removable lights are permitted without restriction so...they regretted the day they ever sent that email. We bought six colored floodlights and we washed our house in pride colors. A little less subtle than our simple flag, but a lot more fun for anyone complaining about the flag itself and what it represents.
2. Let It All Go
I work for a leisure company. Think soft play, indoor soccer, laser tag. Prior to lockdown, managers and the big bosses were negotiating the renewal of the lease on one of our parks.
Things were going mostly smoothly, however, the landlords were difficult to contact. Then 2020 hit the fan. All of our sites were closed, and everything was thrown into a mess.
Negotiations began to slip down the priority list, and nobody thought the landlord would push an eviction for an expired lease during this period. Especially with it still getting rent, despite the site's closure, and the closure of every business and restaurant in the immediate area. We were so wrong. A few days ago, we received a letter saying we had seven days to leave the premises and take everything with us.
We were also reminded that anything left in the building after seven days will become the landlord's property. That line is very important.
Now, a lot of construction goes into installing our equipment into a new building, which makes emptying one even harder.
Add a lockdown, with no staff and most businesses shut, and it meant that saving much of our assets would prove to be extremely difficult.
To lose a profitable site and all of its assets is definitely a blow to our company. But here is where it gets worse. A few days into our seven-day eviction, we find out that the landlord has been advertising our park…to our competitors. But he isn’t offering just the building, he is offering ALL OF OUR STUFF PRE-INSTALLED. “Ready to go, just needs re-branding.”
It all becomes clear. The landlord has evicted us from the property in an attempt to increase rent and make a solid profit from our equipment installed because he thinks we won't be able to empty the park. We were furious.
And here is where gaming the system came in. Again, we were told we had seven days to move everything we owned out of the property.
So that's what we did. Local businesses from all around offered up free space to store our things, a few people came back out of lockdown, and they all spent the rest of the week removing, selling, or destroying everything that was related to us.
We didn't even leave light fittings. In every other site vacation we have seen, we always end up leaving thousands of $$ worth of disco lights in the ceilings because they’re too hard to get.
We usually leave most of the construction in, as well as things like the bars and kitchens that all stay intact (recognizable as what they once were). But not this building. This time, it was so much different, and it was incredible. We ripped up the flooring we installed, tore down the walls that were not part of the original structure (wooden walls to divide up the space), ripped apart our managers’ offices and removed all artwork and lockers.
The landlord now has every new deal he has been making dead in the water, a large renovation bill to install new flooring, etc. (or a company willing to do it themselves like we were). Silver lining: The assets we got out of the site (fridges, TVs, equipment, food, tables) have all been sold, and the lack of rent and additional income has helped the business and paid staff wages. Here is what happened next.
We handed in the keys and it was probably the quickest handover we’ve ever had.
The landlord clearly didn’t want to make any kind of conversation and there was definitely an elephant in the room, but he said NOTHING about the lack of our equipment.
Complications did arise when we went to get back various deposits, but he had no case to withhold the deposits from us as the building was in excellent shape.
We had conducted much of the maintenance work ourselves, so the building was in a significantly better condition than we found it. We also cleaned up 99% of the rubbish and dirt from our demolition crusade so he couldn't bill us for cleaning.
A very minor bit of pressing from our legal team meant that we received everything owed back in full.
The building is still vacant and as of yet we don't know of any potential buyers. At this moment in time, our company is still standing despite the closures and lack of business, staff are all still employed and doing well.
3. A Taste Of Your Own Medicine
When I was in my early 20s, I worked at a supermarket. I should note that I was a pretty reliable employee. I was never late, in fact I often got in early, and I rarely called in sick.
At the time this happened, I had not called in sick for nine months, and even then, the manager had sent me home.
Anyway this next time, I had been up all night, swinging between burning hot and freezing cold so I was obviously feverish, and I had been throwing up “at both ends” shall we say.
At one point at about 2 am I was on the toilet, with my head in the sink, utterly miserable. I must have passed out because the next thing I knew I was lifting my head off the sink and it was 7 am.
I was due to start work at 12 that day but that obviously wasn't going to happen. So I called up the manager. Let's call the manager Steve. Steve was known for being a real jerk.
He never believed anyone who called in sick except his best buds (usually other managers, never lowly staff), but often called in sick himself (a lot of the time we knew it was because he was hungover and not actually sick).
The conversation went as follows: Me: Hey Steve, sorry, I can't come in. I'm sick. Steve: With what? Me: I don't know. I think it might be the flu. I've been up all night being sick, and I have a fever.
Steve: Don't be stupid. If you had the flu you'd be completely knocked out. I need you in. Come in or you're fired. Me: I can't. I just told you I can't stop vomiting. I passed out.
Steve: (growling angrily) Either come in or bring a doctor’s note, or you're fired! In the UK, you are allowed to self-certify for 5 days. This means you can tell your employer you are sick and you do not need a doctor’s note.
If you're sick for more than 5 days, you then need a note. It is also illegal to demand a doctor’s note during the self-certify period. There was just one problem. I knew this, but I was terrified. This was during the recession, and I couldn't afford to lose my job. So I got myself dressed. Almost passed out trying to do so. Then trudged to the doctor’s some 25 minutes’ walk away.
I end up sitting in the doctor's office for a little over an hour, which for walk-in was pretty good. I get in to see the doctor and she is furious at me for coming in.
You're not supposed to come to the doctors when you have a cold or flu, and of course I knew I should be able to self-certify. She told me as such, saying I shouldn't be here and should have stayed at home.
I then explained what had happened with Steve and how he had threatened to fire me over this and I couldn't afford to lose my job since I was struggling as it was. My doctor’s anger transformed into something beautiful. She shifted it to my manager, then asked if I got sick pay from the company. I said yes. "He wants a sick note does he," the doctor says. "Okay. I'll give him a sick note.”
Now, my manager just wanted a note confirming I was sick, but instead my doctor wrote something along the lines of this: “
[My Name] has come to the surgery because Steve has insisted she come in, in spite of the fact that this is illegal and all employees are allowed to self-certify.
Due to being forced to make this unnecessary and highly dangerous trip when the patient is ill, has a fever of 39°C, and almost passed out in the waiting room, I am signing [my name] off for two full weeks to recover.
Had [my name] been allowed to self-certify as is the law, they might only have needed a few days, but due to straining themselves, they now require two full weeks. They are not to be permitted to work until [date 2 weeks later].”
The doctor said she would have signed me off for longer but this was the longest she could do without requiring further evidence.
So basically, instead of just being off for a few days, I was now signed off for a full two weeks, and I'd be paid for it.
I went to my place of work, at which point one of the duty managers saw me and asked me what the heck I was doing here, go home, I was obviously very unwell. I explained what happened.
They agreed to help me downstairs to Steve's office and went with me inside.
I handed Steve the note. He looked worried and tried to say “I wasn't being serious about firing you.” Well gee, when you angrily growled it down the phone it sure sounded like it. The duty manager then declared that they were going to drive me home. It was clear Steve wanted to argue but had the sense to know he shouldn't. The duty manager then drove me home, made sure I was okay, then went back to work. Then came the best part.
The duty manager then informed our union rep of what had happened. Steve had a disciplinary hearing where he was given a severe reprimand and a warning.
Steve tried to argue he never said I'd be fired and I was lying and just decided to go to the doctor's, but the duty manager said they heard him admit to it when he said to me that he really didn't mean it.
I felt better after a few days and enjoyed my two weeks off, fully paid, and enjoyed the nice weather we had. Meanwhile, Steve was forced to work overtime because we were short-staffed.
So thanks to the doctor, instead of being off for a few days, I ended up getting a nice two-week paid vacation, and Steve was given a final warning, all because he insisted I get a doctor’s note, and I did.
4. Straight To Voicemail
My boss LOVES to call me at 6:15 AM to ask me if I would LIKE to fill the shifts of the people who just called in sick. This is an everyday thing.
One day, I was bored and frustrated, so I decided to volunteer at 3:30 am to call this same manager to ask if they needed extra help. He got super angry and tried to write me up for it.
I showed the general manager the time stamps of the calls I had received. I don’t get calls anymore.
