Neighbors Who Make You Want To Move
Since you have to see them pretty much every day, a house is only a good as its neighbors—so some of these houses were pretty terrible.
1. Let Them Eat Cake
Our neighbor is nut. I hate her. She throws baked goods of all sorts into our yard, bagels, half loaves of bread, German pancakes, literal unbaked dough. It's not just weird—it's psychotic. She does it only because she knows I have two dogs with sensitive stomachs, and even after I throw the bread back into her yard every time. She denied she's doing it, so I bought some cameras and laid a trap.
We finally caught her today literally chucking white bread pieces over the fence and into our yard. Can't wait to see the look on her face...
2. Boarding House
My neighbor was an 85-year-old widow who lived alone. She had two vehicles, a car and a truck. Over the course of a few months, I realized that she was no longer parking her car in her garage as she had for the many years prior to that. Then, suddenly, the truck was not being parked inside the garage of the lady either. I asked her what was happening, and her answer blew my mind.
It turns out she no longer had room in her garage to park her vehicles because she was walking down to a residential construction site about a block away every evening and she'd grab two 2"x 4"s and bring them home.
She had over 500 boards stacked in her garage and when she was questioned on what she was going to do with them, she didn't have an answer.
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3. Stay Away!
My friends used to live in a gentrifying neighborhood near the beach in my city. They had a regular apartment, but someone bought the building in front of them—it was beach adjacent—knocked it down, and put up a few luxury homes.
Among all the people who bought homes there, a crazy woman bought one.
She had a two-car garage, and a driveway, and best we could tell, she had one car.
But NO ONE was allowed to park on the street in front of her house, which was clearly marked as a public street and where people had been parking since forever to go to the beach or because their building didn’t have parking.
We could see this street from their apartment.
She went out and keyed any cars parked there. It took a while to figure out it was her, but eventually, people saw her doing it. All the neighbors warned their friends not to park there, and people started putting up cameras to get evidence of it. Some dude with an ugly truck started parking directly in front of her house every day just to mess with her, because he didn’t care if she scratched it up. Well, that just made her get even worse.
She slashed his tires. It got to the point where every time she opened her door to walk outside, neighbors would cuss her out through their windows.
One night she went out in the middle of the night, and then painted the entire curb on that street red. Someone got it on video, and several neighbors called the city.
I think she got a talking to and a fine, and she had several insurance claims pending against her from damage to cars. She finally stopped. Everyone still hates her though, even new neighbors, who are told the story of her from older residents.
4. Pesky Problems
My previous neighbors were in their 80s. The elderly gentleman used to dress up in what was ostensibly a hazmat suit and spray pesticide on his lawn.
At the same time, she would stand behind him in her muumuu and slippers holding the pail with the pesticides. It seems safe to assume that they got rid of a lot of pests.
