People Describe Creepy Imaginary Friends from Their Childhood
“I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend—I didn't bother with him.”—George Carlin.
Many adults had imaginary friends as children. At their best, these make-believe buddies were cute, helpful, and whimsical respites from the scary “real world.”
But for reformed dreamers, like the adults below, not every fake friend was so innocent. Imaginary friends sometimes took shape in scary animals, derivative cartoons, slightly “off” other kids, and even amorphous shapes from the great beyond.
In other words, kids are weird and so are their friends.
Reddit asked adults to detail the creepiest and outright terrifying highlights of their ex-imaginary buddies.
From the doctors without medical licenses to the pocket pals and brutal feuds, we’ll be happy to report that these friends are all imaginary (at least we hope…).
Travel to Dreamland for these 42 startling stories about the creepiest imaginary friends in history.
42. No Imagination Without Inspiration
I had characters from cartoons. Sometimes when I was playing I would pretend I was in a cool cartoon, because everyone in the cartoon were such good friends and I didn't really have any.
41. Nothing Like Self-Improvement
There was another me but the other me went by Crystal instead of my real name. I started calling myself Crystal because I liked the other me more.
40. My Literally Little Friends
I had a series of small friends, who were kids like me but small enough to fit in my hand. I don't know why I never imagined them regular human size, they just always seemed weird and stretched out when I did that.
Sometimes my parents would give me old junk mail and I would use it to be a teacher to my small friends. Penna was my most well-known small friend. She was a very interesting character and I talked to her a lot, but she was also very mean and rude.
Treeland was my other well-known small friend. She was nicer than Penna, and she wasn't afraid to speak up against Penna's injustices, so I liked her a lot better.
One day, Penna got run over by an imaginary bicycle in the flowerbed of my backyard. I felt OK about it.
During a particularly hard hour on the toilet, I tried to reinvent her to be more friendly and stylish, but it never really stuck as well as good old mean original Penna.
39. Nothing Cures Your Constipation Like A Good Friend
When I was little, maybe four or five, I had an imaginary friend called Mary. She lived in the bathroom. The only time I ever talked to her was when I was pooping. My parents would hear me chatting away to "Mary" while on the toilet.
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