Mortified Neighbors Share The Most Scandalous Things They Overheard
Who needs cable when the neighbors have thin walls? Apartment dwellers shared the most outrageous things they overhead from their neighbors' units.
Weak sound insulation is an eavesdropper’s dream come true or, in some cases, a terrifying nightmare brought to life. After all, no one likes to have their dirty laundry aired out in the halls for all to see.
Press an ear to the wall and listen in on these juicy tidbits.
1. Who Needs 911 When You Have a Good Neighbor
In college, I lived in a crummy apartment near the school. Halfway to class one day, I realized I forgot a book and rushed back to get it. As I ran up the stairs, I heard yelling. On my way back down, book in hand, I paused to listen. I heard some unintelligible moaning, and eventually heard the words “Help me.”
I rushed out and tried their door, but it was locked. I totally forgot about my class and ran to the apartment management office, hoping that someone was there.
A manager was, thank goodness, and after I explained the situation, she grabbed her master keys and we booked it back to my neighbor’s place.
She opened the door. The poor guy was laying in the stairwell, clearly having fallen. I called 911 while the manager ran over to the guy.
Ambulance came and picked him up, and I later learned that he had fallen down the stairs after passing into a brief diabetic coma. To this day, I feel grateful that I forgot that book.
That poor guy could have died, slumped halfway down the stairs with his face in the carpet.
2. The Touching Art of Motion Picture
My old neighbor was a cam girl, and I could hear absolutely everything she said in every single session for a good four months. I work from home, and it was always a gamble whenever I had to meet with someone virtually.
3. So Much for the Cost of Friendship
I once heard a former roommate laughing with his then-girlfriend about how they were screwing me over on money. Turned out they were taking my "utilities" checks and buying various games and alcohol. Instead of confronting them, I confirmed what they said with the utilities company (they hadn't paid the bill in two months) and moved all my stuff out while they were at work. For good measure, I took myself off the lease and told the rental company about the girlfriend who had been there six months.
4. Blame it on Looney Tune
Years ago, I had an upstairs neighbor. At 2am, every night, I heard something sprint across the entire apartment. I realized three things: it was very fast, it took small strides, and it never deviated from its path. One day, I saw my neighbor outside, and I said, "I don’t know how you have energy at 2am?" He responded with, "Dude, I've been working the midnight to 8am shift for 15 years. Doesn't bother me at all.”
That night, I watched him leave his house, drive off, and waited two hours. At exactly 2am, I heard what sounded like two feet hit the floor in his bedroom, and the marathon started. A few weeks later, I see him outside.
I tell him what I hear at night and he says, "That's strange, no one has my keys. It's just me and my rabbit up there."
