Moms and dads aren’t perfect…and neither are brothers and sisters or husbands and wives for that matter. But as much as we are all human, these horrible relatives give new meaning to the term “family feud”—and no one knows that better than the Redditors who had to live with them. Hold onto your hats for some crazy family dynamics.
1. The Picture Of Entitlement
My parents aren’t together. I haven’t seen my dad since a huge to-do occurred when I was 10, and I’m 18 now. That said, my mother stays in contact with him, because I have a severely disabled sister who often requires dual parental consent on forms. Her favorite method of contact is email, though they often call and she updates him on my sister.
Now, don’t be too harsh on my mother for this, but her password for her email is my sister’s birthday. So, it’s not too much of a stretch for the father of my sister to guess it. This is where it got creepy. My mother began to notice that whenever she received emails from her lawyer talking about decisions she made on my sister’s behalf (she has right of attorney), that my father would call the next day.
He would then suddenly go on a rant about the decision my mother just made. They’re things he’s actually against; he’s not just picking a fight. But strange how he always ends up choosing just the right time to rant about these things, huh? Anyway, recently, my family’s been going through some stuff. All my extended family are narcissists, alcoholics, criminals, etc.
So the ONLY support system we’ve ever really had has been my mother’s two best friends. For clarification, one is my godmother, the other is my honorary “aunt”. When I was little, my mother made me memorize both their numbers. She told me if anything happened to her, I was to call them right away, and they’d get me away from my dad before he even had a chance to fight for custody.
I lived with one of them during my rebellious teenage period. My mother didn’t understand mental illness—my aunt, who had a child with mental illness, was truly my savior at this time. The other one got us away from my father the instant she found out about his mistreatment. With a literal day’s notice, she flew out to our state, spent the day packing with us, then flew with my brother and I across the country.
We’d only booked tickets the night before, so my mother had to catch the next flight with my sister. They are our saving grace. So all this said, I always knew if something happened to my mom, I’d have them to fall back on; my mother told me that I’d go stay with my godmother, and my sister would go live with my aunt. Well, the worst has happened.
My mother’s sick. She’ll likely pass in the next year, or recover and live until 100. But my godmother and aunt are also sick too. They both have end-stage cancer and are terminal. My godmother is in her last six weeks. I’ve found all this out in just the past month, so it’s been a lot to deal with. As such, my mother had to update her will.
Power of attorney over my sister now goes to me, and everything is split equally between my brother and I—my brother is an addict and has responsibility issues. She took my dad out of it completely, knowing that if something does happen, I’ll need all the resources I can get—again, I’m only 18 years old, have an addict brother, zero support system to speak of, and a severely disabled sister.
Her lawyer sent the updated will through to her over email. It all came crashing down almost instantly. The next day, my father called her, madder than he’s been in years, or so my mother said. He spiraled into a rant, about how his “co-worker” has just been dragged through the mud by his ex-wife, who took him out of her will, and how evil is that?
Who could do that? He told her that the best thing she could ever do was give him 100% of her estate upon her passing. This man, who has done NOTHING for me, my sister, my brother, or my mother, thinks he should get EVERYTHING FROM HER?? I’m EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. My sister is a mentally disabled, severely physically handicapped, brain damaged 22-year-old who needs 24-hour constant care.
My brother is an ADDICT who I don’t see for weeks on end. And he thinks he should get 100% of my mother’s estate (which is a plot of land and roughly $60,000 to both me and my brother) and leave me with my sister, no house over our heads, no food on the table? Screw off. I’m a teenage girl who’s enduring my world crumbling beneath my feet.
I have no idea what I’m going to do if something happens. I have no concept of how to even begin to deal with the task that’s been thrown at me. But at least with what my mother would leave me, I’d be able to learn. But he wants to leave us with nothing? Get screwed. Needless to say, my mother’s lawyer cut all communication through email.
He also told her to immediately make a new account. She doesn’t know how, so she gave me the phone and he told me what to do. She and I are now the only ones with the passwords, because I’d need to get records of everything in case of her passing.
2. Keep Your Friends Close And Your Enemies Closer
I remember when we stayed with my sister-in-law one time, and I bought two weeks’ worth of food with one paycheck of my fiancé’s. She told us, "The way you guys stock food like that is disgusting! You should only buy what you need"! I said "Hey, you never know what is going to happen. What if next week we can't afford food"? Her answer made me want to scream.
"NOOOOOOoOoOoOo! God says only buy what you need and don't be greedy"! Well, guess what? After one week in quarantine, she is now on Facebook ranting about having no toilet paper and worrying about the lack of food on shelves to buy. Hmm. Looks like me buying extra food and necessities every week isn't disgusting or nasty or a sin or immoral now, is it?
We're here in our apartment with a toilet paper stock we bought over the course of the past year, pounds of rice, seeds to grow our own food, pounds of beans, canned goods, and microwave meals. Suddenly me growing up poor and always keeping a small stock isn't gross? Hilarious. Good luck surviving on Walmart scraps.
You shouldn't have hated me for being bi; I would have shared our stock with you gladly. But I'm not family, remember?
3. Not The Greatest Problem Solver In The World
My identical twin has always been competitive with me. We were raised by narcissists, so we were often pitted against each other. She married her high school sweetheart about a year after our father passed. I moved two states away for grad school when I was 22 and only come home on special occasions like holidays nowadays.
Christmas 2018 was one of those holidays I was home. I alternate spending holidays with my family and my partner’s family. At the time, I was dealing with a health scare that Web MD said could either be a hormone imbalance or cancer. I was freaking out. My partner didn’t know how to be supportive because we’re in our 20s and kind of dumb.
We were arguing somewhat consistently for the month. Anyway, my sister has a bad habit of cheating on her husband whenever they’re dealing with an argument. It’s been going on for almost as long as they’ve been married. He knows but won’t do anything about it because he’s in love with her. My sister invited me to spend an evening with her and her husband.
It was supposed to be us just catching up and having a few beers. I couldn’t believe it when I realized what her plan was. She invited a guy from her husband’s work that she thought I would find attractive. Because, you know, she thought I wanted to cheat on my partner because we were fighting at the time. That didn’t pan out, and he left.
She then invited one of her college friends over. We had a good talk, but that’s it. It turns out we had a lot in common. I was texting my partner the whole time, and he was less than thrilled about the whole situation. We had a good talk, and my issues were resolved a few weeks later; it was just hormones. My partner and I are now engaged and very happy.
He still hates my sister, and I don’t blame him.
4. Ulterior Motives
My father cheated on my mom when I was four and went on to marry his mistress. Now, this is not even about that but about the fact that my father not only divorced my mom but also divorced ME. To give you a bit of background, he avoided me for most of my childhood and teens. My parents had shared custody of me but he would only ask to see me once a month.
Twice if I begged and called a lot to see him. He refused to pay child support and when he would, it would be 6+ months late and would be much less than what was agreed on. According to him, my mom was rich and my grandfather was fully capable of supporting me. Except as far as I know he is the one who helped create me...not my grandfather.
He moved out of the country (which is one of the most dangerous countries in the world) when I was 17 under the excuse of a two-week vacation and never came back. He took his wife and two kids and left me. When I found out I was too hurt to say anything but my mom confronted him. His words back cut me to the bone. His only response was “I have to take care of my family”.
His wife doesn’t like me, of course, and there are no pictures of me at their house. My mother remarried and I have a WONDERFUL stepfather who raised me better than my father ever could. He paid for my education and everything I ever needed. Later on, I moved out of my country with my father’s visa. My stepdad offered him money to allow me to come to school under his visa and he took it.
I saw my father maybe four times in the last five years (awkward, forced trips). It was maybe for a day each time, and each time he wanted a family picture to post on social media and act like a doting father. He has never helped me with school, never helped me move, and never came when I was sick or heartbroken or sad. I was in the same country as him all on my own, and he was the only family I had there.
Fast forward to the last two years. I met an amazing man who happens to be a citizen of the country I’m in. We were together for a year and a half and my dad met him once. It was at my graduation that he asked to be a part of, and I reluctantly invited him. However, as usual, he only came to take a picture to post on Facebook.
There was no dinner, no present, nothing. He spoke for maybe a minute to my then-boyfriend about baseball and that was it. Today I’ve been married to that same man for six months. My father didn’t bring us a card or a present. Fine, whatever. But there’s just one thing. Now my father and stepmom want to see us...a lot. And well, I think I know why.
Now, my father is in this country on a visa, which means eventually he has to leave. His children are citizens but much too young to do anything for him for at least another decade, when they become of age and can sponsor their parents. His family and my husband’s met for dinner and he took the bill for ALL 10 OF US. This was very shocking since my father is incredibly cheap.
I had already told my husband’s family to split the check since I knew my father would pay only for himself even if the event was his idea. Then before we left he jokingly told me I have to facilitate his way to citizenship since I’ll be married and a citizen myself soon...so there’s that. A month later, he invited me and my husband to a fancy hotel to spend New Year’s Eve.
He paid for absolutely everything for two days. The whole time my husband and I were just confused at all this attention we were getting...which brings me to this week. He has been calling weekly since early January to have my husband and I spend the weekend at their house (they live three hours away) this month. To be honest we are not buying it.
I always (stupidly) give him chances and he always disappoints me. My mother-in-law told me maybe he finally wants a relationship with me but the timing is SO OFF! Why did no one call when I was all alone in this country? Why now? My husband really dislikes him (he knows all he has put me through) and has already told me he won’t allow me to help him with citizenship.
He says he doesn’t deserve it and didn’t offer me help when I was in that situation, and he is right. I don’t want to help them, it would be a huge insult to my mother who in her own imperfect way took care of me all on her own. But I also feel bad for turning my back on him because it’s just not who I am. But I will not help him.
Karma took a while but it’s finally happening. I can’t wait to tell him “I have to take care of my family” once the time comes and he asks for my aid.
5. Computer Dreams Crashed
I've been working on getting a laptop for a year. I’ve been saving money, researching what I want, etc. And my cousins (bless them) just gave me a belated birthday gift—a big ol' sum of cash. I can finally afford what I want after a year of tirelessly working for it! Now, my little sister is a very busy person. She has school, a job, and soccer.
Her schedule is set weeks in advance, so if I want to go get a laptop, I have to pick a day she's doing nothing. Which is like, I don’t know, once a month? Because if she has plans, my parents are driving her around and I need to find a different ride. So I set up a day for me and my dad to go laptop shopping, which is the only day this month my sister isn't busy!
And my dad kept his schedule clear for me too! Today is the day, and we were maybe an hour away from being ready to go, when my little sister called. She wants to go to a party. It's an hour's drive. She wants dad to drive her. This completely disrupts our plans, and now I'm sitting at home while he drives her to a party she decided on a whim she wanted to go to.
Surprise surprise...No matter what happens, no matter what I want to do, no matter how much I plan around her, she is always the priority. My options now are, I guess, wait until next month or find someone else to take me.
6. Full Of Hot Air
I've always known my mom lies, has tantrums, and I knew about her Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis years ago. But she fudged up a lie recently, and so I started asking questions. That’s when her web of lies unraveled. The first major lie I caught her in was her accusation that my grandfather, her father, mistreated her. Turns out, never happened.
He just made her angry one day. Today I learned something that has my mind and body numb. When I was around 3, I had a brother. I broke a bowl and my stepdad (total psycho) lost his mind, and my mom and him got in a fight. Because of it, my brother passed from shaken baby syndrome. Or at least, this is what I've been told my entire life.
I remember my brother. I remember breaking the bowl. I remember them fighting and me hiding under my bed during it. Only thing is, that wasn’t my brother. And the baby didn’t die. The truth is mind-blowing. The truth I found out today is that my mother had told me that our neighbor’s kid was my brother since the day that he was born.
She babysat for them daily so it makes sense why I have so many memories of him. I was told daily "hug your brother, kiss your brother, your brother is napping, brother is eating". So little child me assumed she told the truth, and it was my brother. Turned out I broke a bowl, and then she and my stepdad started fighting. The child's real mom showed up to pick him up.
She heard the fight and said they'd never watch the baby again. Like any good mom would. My mother decided to tell me my brother was dead. My aunt said after my mother had a miscarriage she lost her mind, but no one knows if she actually had a miscarriage because her story on that changed a lot too. All this came to light because I said pregnancy while taking care of toddlers is rough and my mom said she did it for five months.
I said what...only five months? Pregnancy is 40 weeks, and she had never mentioned any child being premature. Back then babies born at five months didn’t make it like they sometimes, very rarely, do now. So I called my aunt for the truth. Apparently, everyone hid it from me because they're afraid of my mom. For good reason. She is a great liar and prone to violent outbursts, and if she sees you as "her enemy" she is capable of anything.
7. Burning Bridges
We are officially done with my husband's family. It is over. So, I watch my sister-in-law’s one-year-old child for basically nothing every day. I run a business full-time from home. I have a two-year-old daughter as well. They regularly don't pick their daughter up on time. I have to take her to the doctor when she's sick. It's just a mess.
They have had CPS called on them for drinking problems, unsupervised children, etc. My husband's whole family lives in the same house. His family is just...narcissistic? Anyway, I was informed this morning that one of my clients wants to do a video call tomorrow or Tuesday to talk about our upcoming project. I inform my sister-in-law that I will not be able to watch her child one of those days, but she is free to choose which one and the time.
She flips out and tells me she can't take the day off of work, has no one to watch her, etc. I tell her she will have to figure it out; I have to take this call to pay for my daughter's upcoming surgery (it's minor, but it costs $2,000). Well, approximately five minutes later my father-in-law calls my husband, yelling. My husband works for my business too, so he was home.
He complains that we didn't give them enough notice. My husband informs him that we just found out this morning and that this client is quite major. The family's group text starts blowing up with family members yelling at me. So I did it. I told them I wasn't going to raise their child anymore. Calling my husband and yelling while he is at work is unacceptable behavior. That's when things really took off.
My mother-in-law tells me she is so disappointed in all of this. I informed her that I was quite disappointed in her favoritism. She pays for all her other children's stuff, but has never given us a cent; she regularly misses my husband's events; etc. Apparently, she blames me for everything because I spend too much time with my family (???).
I tell her that I make a concerted effort to spend equal time with both families even though she works and drinks constantly. Even when we are over there, she doesn't interact with her granddaughter (or son) at all. And then I laid it on her: "You're the one that canceled her first birthday party at the last minute. You're the one that doesn't even know her favorite color. You're the one that didn't know she cried when her grandfather stumbled into the vacation house, tipsy, because she was scared”.
And that is the end of that, I hope.
8. Driving Me Crazy
So I inherited my dad’s car, and my sister had a cow and is now trying to take it. She sent me this text: “Don't try to take dad's car out of town. I'm on my way to DMV to make sure that the car stays in dad's name or else I’ll change it back to dad's name with the attorney’s paperwork. If you leave, you go to jail for stolen property”.
Too bad so sad, it's already in my name and I left for Texas. Take that Satan.
9. An F For Effort
I am a first-generation college graduate. I recently graduated with a degree in Mechanical Engineering and a minor in mathematics. I managed to get an entry-level engineering position where my employer will fully pay for my MS in Mechanical Engineering. The effect this had on my family shocked me. They are now all berating me by saying "it isn't like you're a surgeon or a dentist".
Engineering is my passion; I don't want to be a surgeon or a dentist. And none of them have even been to college. I want to continue graduate education in this field and have a career doing real research and development. It's crushing my self-esteem and is making me feel like I'm not doing anything with my life, or that I got an easy degree that literally anyone could get.
10. When Nature Calls
We didn’t have a traditional wedding as we couldn’t afford it. Besides that, my parents would not give us any money. I knew they wouldn’t but gave it a shot since I was the first child to get married. We also lived five states away at the time. We settled on a date two months out and I called my parents to let them know about the news.
Me: I just wanted to tell you that we are going to get married at the courthouse on that Friday’s date. Mother: Ok. Sounds good. Father: That won’t work. Pick another date. Me: …Well, we already paid and booked it. There is a fee to change it. Father: Well, deer season starts on that Monday. I am not missing opening day because you can’t be reasonable.
Me: I am not changing the date because deer season is more important to you than me. You can fly in on Thursday and leave Saturday and still have plenty of time to be ready for Monday Father: No. You are just doing this so I can’t go hunting. You are being so selfish to want to waste my hunting money on you. Yes, he seriously said this.
Me: Ok, dad. Your deer season is way more important than watching me get married. I do not want you there. I want my day to be happy and with you there it won’t be. I will mark you down that you won’t be here. Mom, will you, brother and sister come? Mother: Your sister will, but your brother is going to hunt with your father. Me: sounds great. Hangs up.
“Father” did not come. I gave myself away. My mom and sister came. They were so happy for me. The best part was that my “father” and brother did not get one deer that season! I laughed until I cried and my sides hurt.
11. A Sweet Sore Spot
I haven’t spoken to an entire half of my family in a year now. Life is good, no regrets, and there was no drama involved as I just quietly slipped out of the picture. But my grandmother made these cookies...kind of like sugar cookies, but different from any other cookie I’ve seen. Her own original recipe, and I can’t find anything close online.
I made them with her probably 50 times as a kid/teenager but have no memory of what went in them or how to make them. I’m craving these cookies as we always made 100s of them for Christmas, but it’s not worth trying to reach out to someone just for the recipe. So just a reminder: If you feel you may go no contact with your awful family, casually get the recipes first.
12. Screw Them, Every One
So, I have a narcissistic sister who my mother groomed to be the golden child. She has to constantly be the center of attention. She's one of those people who can't be bothered doing things that are boring or icky, and lives for attention. Her need for attention often involves the way she dresses, meaning often objectively "inappropriate".
As in, she'll wear very light beige to weddings. A funeral for an elderly relative came with a request to wear traditional mourning colors (black, navy, grey) for a rosary service in a Catholic Church, and she showed up in a lime green short dress. "People expect me to look attractive". I have numerous stories on that front, just trust me on it.
My mom refused to address this throughout the years, so it's a fact of life. I just sort of expect it. Anyway, another major narcissist in the family was being presented with an award from the state government at the capitol, several hours away. It was a huge honor and a very conservative organization. We were sent multiple copies of a strict protocol on dressing for the event, which was basically business evening dress of suits in blue, black, grey or burgundy.
You were supposed to wear low heel shoes and no flashy jewelry. Media would be present, we could not be late, you needed your invitation to enter, there were pointers on who you can approach, etc. The day of, I calculated the drive time and everyone loaded in the vehicle. My sister as usual wasn't ready. My mom was making excuses, also as usual.
I told her we were leaving in five minutes with whomever was in the car because if we were late, we could not attend the reception. My mom ran inside and told my sister I was being "difficult" and to hurry up. She came down the steps with my mom. I saw what she was wearing and groaned. I told everyone else in the car to not say anything because if we had to wait for her to change, we would be late and it would just be a fight and not worth it.
I figured if it was a huge issue, they would stop her at the door. I knew the relative getting the award would be angry but I figured it was better that only one of us was in trouble rather than all of us being late. She had on a tropical sundress in bright turquoise with palm trees and parrots on it and strappy sandals—something you would wear to a barbecue.
She had on big beachy jewelry. Everyone in the vehicle was wearing a black suit with black pumps. No one said a word and I could see that my sister was angry that no one commented on how cute she looked. We arrived with about two minutes to spare. We walked into the reception and it was 100 people standing in small groups talking.
We were greeted by the head official and my sister entered last. Probably half the room turned and stared. There was an awkward silence and then whispering. Every single person was wearing a dark suit except one elderly lady who wore a dark purple dress. From across the room, I see the relative that is being honored with a “what the heck” look on his face.
I just shrugged. My sister messed up bad. She knew it too; she spent the entire evening in the restroom. The relative lost their mind, and my mom tried to blame me because somehow I did not give my sister enough time to get dressed? Of course, my relative pointed out that if she had time to put on a sundress, she had time to put on a black skirt and button-down blouse.
A month later, my mom was telling relatives I embarrassed the family because I didn't make my sister go in and change, even though everyone got the same email. This is what happens in a nasty family.
13. Do As I Do, Or Else
I do not drink. It is not a personal choice; it’s because it started to make me sick in my early 20s. It got gradually worse and in the end, one sip of anything gave me stomach cramps and hives lasting a week and I ended up in hospital. I had a gastroscopy and some tests. Nothing wrong was found with my stomach but apparently, my bloodwork was off the charts.
The doctor said there was a possibility it could end up in anaphylactic shock if I drink again. So I thought meh, no big deal, guess I’m not drinking ever again. Well turns out it’s a massive deal for my family. I thought simply saying no thank you when offered a drink would be enough. I did tell them it makes me sick, but they said to stop making stuff up.
In my family, if you are not drinking you are not being “social”. I’ve never been much of a drinker even when I could drink, but for them, it’s normal to empty 3-5 bottles of the hard stuff and 4-6 bottles of vino as a group of 10 in one afternoon. The last time I saw my family, we were all sitting in my aunt’s garden and the usual started: Aunt: What do you want to drink?
Me: Water, please. Aunt: Ahh don’t be silly, your husband isn’t here, what do you want to drink? Me: Water please Aunt: Are you pregnant? Me: No, I’m not, can I just have water, please. Aunt: Your husband doesn’t allow you to drink? Me: What? He doesn’t care. I just don’t want any. Can I just have water please? Aunt: Did you drive here?
Me: No, I walked. Still, I don’t want to drink. Aunt: Alright I’ll bring you some water. A few moments later she put a glass of clear liquid in front of me and said here you go. I picked up the glass, and it was cold. Great, it was a hot day. I took a gulp and swallowed—before I realized the horrible truth. It wasn’t water. I asked her what is that!?
She shrugged and said “Cinzano and tonic” and winked at me! I sat there in bewilderment, not sure what to do or say, so I just stopped talking, trying to take in what just happened. I started to feel unwell soon so I made my excuses and left. I spent the night throwing up, sweating, and shivering, but thankfully I felt ok in the morning and didn’t have to go to the hospital.
Now, I am going back to my hometown for the first time in two years. Please tell me, am I being silly when I don’t want to see this aunt ever again? I feel like I’ve been violated in some way but cannot quite put my finger on it. Am I making mountains out of molehills? Am I being too sensitive?
14. Party Pooper
My husband and I have been together for eight going on nine years, and married for a year and a half. Ever since we got married, his sisters have been an absolute nightmare. They always try to sabotage my plans with my family. They take over family vacations. His sisters are passive-aggressive and they make backhanded comments. They make him feel guilty over the stupidest things.
My husband is the youngest and they treat him like a know-nothing twit, but at the same time place responsibility on him that shouldn't be his in the first place. Today was the last straw. They're planning a surprise birthday for their dad and they gave us the option of choosing between two weekends. I told him to tell them no to one weekend because it's my mom’s birthday.
I have a whole day planned. He didn't say “no” exactly, he just said it's my mom’s birthday on weekend number two. She took it as a yes and planned for weekend number two, and then said their mom had asked for that day off already. This was all in the span of three hours at 8 pm. My husband told me and I was furious that she would do that after he had already said it was my mom’s birthday.
He told her it’s not going to work and she tried to guilt him because he never said no straight up, and didn't communicate well enough. Excuse me! If he said I have surgery that day, would she have taken that as a yes as well? She’s only saying that because she's petty and trying to be a witch. She tried to make my husband feel guilty for not wanting to go to his father's birthday.
He asked her why she would give us the option of choosing between two dates if she had clearly already planned on doing it on a specific date. But still trying to compromise, he told her Sunday of weekend number two would work out better for us since my mom’s birthday is Saturday. Nope. She said that wouldn't work, even though everyone in the family has weekends off and my mother-in-law also requested to have that Sunday off.
She told him to tell me and my family that he won't be attending my mom’s birthday and that I should just celebrate it with my mom alone and he should celebrate it with his dad alone. And to add insult to injury she said he still needs to pitch in with money for the party regardless of whether he’s going or not. I finally told him that his sister was a witch, and I'm sorry if he can't see how petty and vicious she is, but she is.
She only does things because she thinks they'll create a rift in our marriage or just to get to me.
15. A Bunch Of Babies
I am getting married in about two months. I sent out my wedding invitations recently and at the bottom, it says “ADULTS ONLY. NO EXCEPTIONS”. First, let me say that I love kids. But my fiancé and I made the decision to not allow kids/babies to our ceremony because they get bored, cry, won’t sit still, have tantrums, and I just don’t want that to happen during our wedding.
We’re also going to have an open bar, and I don’t particularly want a bunch of drinking adults around my little cousins or my friends’ children. But this backfired almost immediately. My cousin Sam texted me last night saying: “So you’re seriously telling me I cannot bring my son to your wedding”? To which I said…yes. I really wasn’t expecting her next response.
Sam responds: “Then I can’t come and that kills me. I just want you to know how badly I want to be there and I have dreamt my entire life of standing next to you at your wedding. But I just can’t want to be somewhere with someone who doesn’t want the other half of my heart there”. She’s trying to guilt-trip me into letting her bring her son.
Saying things like “and I’ve confided in my best friends and they say it’s your wedding it’s your right to have it the way you want, but yeah. I just want you to know it’s not vengeance when I don’t come. I’ll probably cry the entire day”. I suggested that she take her son (he’s seven) to his friend’s house for a few hours so that she can attend.
She says “I can’t just tell him no and leave him somewhere. I’m not strong enough to do that to his sensitive little heart. I could, if he wasn’t so aware and sensitive. It would hurt him too much. He’s too smart to manipulate”. Um. I’m not asking her to manipulate her son. I’m asking that she be an adult and tell him he can’t come and that children aren’t allowed to attend. But there’s something else at play here.
Not to mention, she’s angry that I didn’t choose her to be my Maid of Honor. I chose my stepsister. While on the phone, Sam said “I don’t mean any offense by this, but SCREW HER”. She’s literally only mad about this because my dad cheated on my mom 10 years ago and married the woman he cheated with. She hates my sister because she hates my stepmom.
I ended up being on the phone with her for half an hour talking to her about this. With her constantly telling me “I’m trying to get sober, so I just wanted to talk to you and tell you how I feel”. Which to me sounds like she’s going to blame me if I still tell her no, and she decides to fall off the wagon. We ended the phone call with her saying “Will you just promise me one thing, even if it’s a lie? Will you just promise me that you’ll consider it, and that you’ll talk to your fiancé about it”?
So I told her yes, that I’d consider it and talk to him about it. And I did. I talked to him, and I’m not changing my mind.
16. Enough Is Enough
You're going to need a little backstory. I have two sisters and a brother, and one of my sisters is the most dumpster fire person I've ever met. I'd like to say she wasn't always this way, but now looking back, there's always been a sense of entitlement with her that I could never quite understand. My sister is three years older than me.
We lost our mom very young. I was five. We were raised by my father. Now, my sister is not my full sister. We share the same mom, not the same dad. However, my father met our mom when she was pregnant with my sister, adopted her right away, and her real father never wanted a relationship with her and signed over parental rights immediately.
We didn't find that out until right before my mom passed, though. I guess she didn't want to die without telling her. Makes sense. Anyway, my sister was a runaway. It started young. Every time she'd get in trouble—she'd run. And it wasn't that my dad was strict, quite the opposite. He yelled a lot, but we never got hit, we never even got grounded.
We of course had to help out around the house because he worked midnights, but overall, he was a decent enough parent. He never treated my sister any differently. Never made it seem like she wasn't his child. Heck, he was the only one there when she took her first steps. But she started getting interested in boys, bad boys that were in lock up, normal teenage rebellion on her part.
The first time she ran away she ended up going to her real father’s house. My dad tried to hide it, but I could see how hurt he was. She kept running away, and she'd come back for a month or two, then leave again. Sometimes for a few days, sometimes a few weeks. Sometimes months. Months of not knowing where she was. My dad would follow any lead he had.
We'd be out well past dark almost every night trying to find her. I heard him crying a lot. And then the big change hit. She got pregnant at 18 and had the baby at 19. She moved back in, and my dad paid for everything until the kid was nearly three. At that point, he told her she had to get a job. Instead, she moved out with a man who paid for everything and took care of her kid.
She didn't love him, and she made that obvious. They fought all the time. He got her pregnant, but dude only stays for so long before he finds someone who actually does love him and does want to be with him. He buys my sister a trailer, and she insists she will get a job now. She lives down the street from me, we offer to drive her places (she doesn't have a license), and we offer to watch her kids for free.
We offer to let her come over and use our Wi-Fi. For months she comes over and uses the Wi-Fi, but doesn't fill out applications for jobs. She downloads movies instead. I ask her all the time: Did you pay rent this month? Did you feed your cat? I had two cats and was always offering her litter and food. She always said she was fine.
Months go by. She tells me she's getting evicted in three days. She had stopped letting me in her house for about 3-4 months. Anyway, I help her move her stuff out. Then I find out what’s really been happening. She hadn't been feeding her cat. He's SKIN and BONES. There was nothing left of this cat. There are Cheerios in its food dish.
I take it home. I rename him. The vet says another 2-3 weeks he would have starved. He puts on 14 lbs within a year. He's happy and healthy now. She still tells people I kidnapped her cat. Then she meets another guy, and this guy has a rap sheet. He's been behind bars for big time things. He makes her give her daughter (from the guy she never loved) to the girl’s father.
He still has her. She stops contacting her daughter. Then it took an even darker turn. I get worried about her because she starts posting some bizarre things on Facebook and not answering my calls. Things that are not her. Things that sound like she’s being forced to write these humiliating posts about how awful she is.
I ask for a welfare check on her. She blocks me and I don't hear from her for over a year. Our grandmother passes away, and I try to get her to go see her. She makes up some excuse and doesn't talk to any of us until three months later when my family held a service. My grandma didn't want a funeral; she wanted a party after people had a chance to grieve properly.
She has a kid by this bad guy now. Getting ready for the party, she has to pin her shirt to her bra because her shoulders are showing and he says she looks inappropriate. I get her alone, and she says she’s happy. I tell her she can leave if she wants to. She doesn't. I try to talk to the guy for a little bit, and things seem okay. His parents are great, fantastic really considering their son.
But, they ask my sister and the boyfriend to sign over rights to their new baby to them, in exchange that they will buy them a house. They agree. They get pregnant again to replace that child, and they don't tell me until the day she goes into labor. I'd been talking to her every few weeks at this point. She never mentioned it to me even once.
I give her $3,000 when they move to help them get the kids their new bedrooms as she’s seeing her daughter again and they still have their first child and now this new kid. Neither her nor her boyfriend work. Of course not. Two months later, she asks me for $350 but I am hurting for money and I can't give it to her. I tell her I can in a few weeks when I get a bonus. More unsettling truths come out.
She tells me her power is shut off and this guy’s parents took the kids. I still can't help her. She tells me never to call her again, that I'm a bad sister and an awful aunt. That I'm pathetic and needy. She hits all the low blows. I just said okay, let me know if you change your mind. She blocks me. She contacts me two days later and her story has changed.
She needs $125 for a hotel room. I tell her to just stay at her house without power, as the kids aren't with her and it’s not hot or cold. She then says her house was broken into. Every time I tell her no, there's a new story as to why she needs this money. I send her $40 for food. I then find out through a mutual friend that they are selling their newly acquired home (18k home) for $5,000.
They are rehoming their dog for a fee. I am blocked from seeing these posts. The comments indicate she has sold both of them. I block her because I don't want to confront her. What’s the point? She’s just going to lie. Whatever the real reason is, she’s not going to tell me. At this point she has not spoken to 90% of the family in months, my grandma’s funeral being the only time, and before that, it’s been years.
She starts messaging all of them for money. She tells them I'm a liar because I warned them what was going on. She says she’s sleeping under a bridge now. They refuse to go to a shelter because they will get split up. My parents offer to take her kids. My parents offer to let her move in, but jailbird can't come. She chooses the so-called bridge.
My parents told me yesterday that they got custody of her first child. I see her second child quite regularly, as the father and I have a great relationship, but she hasn't spoken to her daughter for months. I feel guilty for not doing more to help her, at the same time I feel like I have officially reached my end with her. There is nothing more I can do.
17. More Wheels, More Problems
In October my fiancé’s dad, grandpa, grandma, aunt, and cousin schemed to take my brand new all-terrain tires off of my Jeep while we were out of town. I told them that they had to give them back ASAP or I was filing charges. They didn’t, but they didn’t know who they were dealing with. I kept my word and reported my tires as stolen.
Well, we recently went to his company’s Christmas party and while we were there, his dad told him that I was not invited to Christmas or any family functions “as a result of my actions”. I told my fiancé that they best cough up my tires soon because I’m in the midst of preparing to sue. I don’t like his family, but we used to get along until this began.
Now I just want to go off on them. I want to text his grandpa and tell them that if they don’t want me at Christmas, then I don’t want them at our wedding. Is that too harsh? We moved up here so he could be closer to his family, but they’ve exiled me because I continue to fight back over my property. Should I continue to plan my wedding and leave out half of my intended guests because of tires?
I genuinely never want to see them again. They have thrown me under the bus, tried to get him to leave me, started all of this over tires when they could’ve just used the ones they bought for themselves in the first place.
18. Baby Crazy
My sister and I haven’t been on speaking terms due to long-term issues. Long story short, she has anger issues, serious jealousy problems, and my mom enabled her. When she found out I was pregnant she did a complete 180 largely due to a severe case of baby rabies. She basically tried to convince me to move back home, then when that didn’t work she tried to convince my husband for us to move back home.
She’s been largely overbearing trying to control everything about the child. So into today: I’ve had a rough couple of days between insomnia, depression due to insomnia, and just a state of stagnation while waiting for things to happen so I can finish set things for my baby. What this ultimately meant was I had no time for her garbage.
So she calls me and asks about “her baby”. I just snapped at her. I was like “Oh, I didn’t realize you’d conceived and were currently expecting”. She expressed dissatisfaction at my response and then eventually amended it to “our baby”, to which I responded well unless I was mistaken you weren’t in the room when she was conceived. Eventually, she just had to drop the baby talk because she realized she was getting nowhere fast.
19. Ladies And Gentlemen, The Father Of The Groom
Two years ago, I got married. It was a casual wedding; we had it up north at my grandparents’ ranch and for the most part, it was nice. Except for the fact that my father can’t let go of a divorce that happened 20 years ago and has no idea how to act civil. My parents got divorced 20 years ago, my mom was getting tired of him being a jerk and left him.
He still has not gotten over it and always has something to say about my mother on Facebook and in person. A week before the wedding, my father sent me this long text message saying he didn’t want my mother to “ruin his childhood home with her presence” and that “her and her family are not welcome at the wedding”. He also added that because his parents own the house, he has reason to exclude my mom’s side from the wedding.
I had to remind this man that A) She is my mother, she is allowed at my wedding, B) I’m not excluding my grandparents, aunts, and cousins from my wedding because you’re petty, and C) You don’t live in that house anymore, it’s not your wedding, and if you don’t like it you don’t have to come. He didn’t like my answer, so he cried to my grandparents.
He said that they were “betraying him” by having the wedding at their house. I was delighted by their reply. My grandparents told him he should stop acting like a child and attend his own son’s wedding. So he pouted about it and decided to go. On the day of the wedding, we picked separate seats for the two of them so my dad didn’t throw a tantrum over having to sit next to my mom.
The ceremony went fine without any interruptions from him…and then it turned into a nightmare. Because then we had the reception. Jesus. Christ. This. Man. My mother still talks to my dad’s side of the family since my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather were close friends growing up. There is no awkwardness or tension between both sides of my family...except for my father.
Everything’s going well at the reception, my wife and I are just vibing at the table with our food and my uncle and my mother are at the table with us. And then my father comes over. First, he asks my uncle “what the heck is he doing at the table”. My uncle shrugs and says that he’s just having a conversation with people and not “sulking in the corner because he’s bitter”.
My father tells him that my mother isn’t allowed to interact with his family and he should have pushed her away when she approached him. My uncle told him that he’s an adult and he can do whatever he wants. This only made it escalate that much further.
My father then tells my mom that she needs to leave and that “he won’t allow her in his presence”. My mom just stares at him and goes back to her conversation. He yells at her to leave louder and she continues to ignore him. My uncle tells him to screw off, and my dad tells him that if he doesn’t tell “that witch” to go away that he’ll flip the table over.
I obviously don’t want him to do that, so I tell him “Dad, since you obviously can’t be civil at your own son’s wedding, I’m going to ask you to leave”. He huffed and told me that America is a free country and that he had every right to stay. So, my uncle got up from his seat, grabbed his arm, and dragged him out of the tent before telling him that if he decided to come back the authorities would be called.
The next day he sent me a long message demanding an apology from ME and saying that what I did humiliated him in front of the entire family. I told him that he humiliated himself because he’s petty and can’t let go of a divorce that happened 20 years ago. C’mon man, you’re 56 years old and you’re acting like a child, get a grip on yourself.
20. Not Seeing Eye-To-Eye
Growing up, my family was always close to my mom’s sister. My aunt has two girls who are identical twins and I was always forced to play nice with them even though they never wanted to hang out. When I got married, I asked them to be my bridesmaids, and they stood up in my wedding…only for them to go back to ignoring me and not putting forth effort into the relationship.
I mailed them flowers, would call them each month, send happy birthday texts, and handwrite them letters. But they never initiated. I decided to forgo the relationship and stopped reaching out. They didn’t reach out or contact me for over a year, only to say thanks after I texted “happy birthday”. I am turning 30 in a few weeks and my parents had a plan to host a party, with people flying in from across the country.
Yesterday, one of the twins had a bridal shower and my mom begged me to go, even though I was not asked to be a bridesmaid and did not want to go. When I got ready for the shower, my mother didn’t like my hair and told me to wash it, didn’t like my outfit and told me to change, and once I did all those things to just get through the day and survive, then she was upset with how little I talked with everyone at the shower.
She was giving me nasty glares across the table and hitting my knees underneath it. I found out at the shower that my twin cousins both bought houses, graduated with their masters, and they didn’t even tell me. I felt so hurt at the shower that I decided to tell my parents I did not want them to be invited to my 30th birthday party, as on my 21st my dog passed in my arms and I’ve never had a big party for it.
I wanted to invite people who do not make me feel bad about myself. I didn’t expect the backlash I got. My mom stopped speaking to m and my dad wrote me the most hurtful message I’ve ever read from him—sharing that they are canceling the party, that they will not be attending, and that I am being a selfish spoiled brat.
For what it’s worth, I have invited my twin cousins to every birthday party, every college party—all of it. I have never been invited to any of theirs. I spoke with my brother about the situation, sent him the text messages my dad sent me, and immediately my mom calls my brother apologizing and playing the victim, saying how hard it was for her at the shower because I didn’t talk enough to everyone at the party.
My brother calls my dad and then talks to me. He and I are very close, and he also has beef with the twins, so I thought he surely would understand how stupid this all sounds. His words crushed me. He instead lectured me on how the family needs to get along and how he needs to play devil’s advocate. This all happened as I was in town to visit everyone for the shower.
He then proceeded to tell me that I must have hurt people by not talking to them enough, (but I did talk to everyone!) and as I started to cry, he gave me an ultimatum saying he could either drive me to the train station and I catch the next train back to my home or that I will need to “collect myself” as he was having people come over.
Since I live in a different state, I was planning on staying at his house instead of my parents’. So I decided to Uber to a hotel and stay until my train departs. I feel so betrayed, unsupported, and hurt right now. The worst part is that before my brother spoke with my parents, he offered to host the party instead but after this, I just want to cancel it all, not go to my cousin's wedding, and distance myself from my family entirely.
21. A Disaster From Start To Finish
At my baby shower, my sister insulted my unborn baby, tried to fight with everyone, and then smashed my cake because it wasn’t vanilla and she didn’t get her piece first. But that wasn’t all. My female cousin said that even though she was at my baby shower, it would be just like me to not show up at hers—which is coming up and scheduled on my due date.
She then took a onesie from the gift pile because it would “look better on her baby”. My male cousin used the shower to announce that his girlfriend of three months was also pregnant. He also made fun of my baby’s name the entire time, saying “we’ll never name our baby something stupid as insert common baby girl name here”. Oh, we’re just getting started.
My aunt stated, “Your daughter will be fine but hopefully she looks like her dad, white babies are always the cutest”. I’m half Asian and strongly resemble the Asian side of my family. She also kicked out all of my friends as they showed up, stating “I planned it, I get to choose who comes in”. Various other family members’ comments were icing on top.
“There’s no way you’re 36 weeks, you must have the wrong day”. “You’ll have to stop your career now that baby’s here”. “If you’re not getting her baptized, she’s going to the devil”. “When are you having your next one”? This one didn’t really upset me, just kind of added fuel to the fire. “You’ll have to work out the second she’s born if you want to be pretty again”.
“Why are you getting cloth diapers, do you think you’re better than us”? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for all the efforts. But I really don’t want to see ANY of them ever again.
22. What Was His Is Ours
So, my husband was a heavy-duty mechanic. Before he passed, he had over $15,000 in tools at his work, plus massive tool boxes—and that is the used price I could sell them for, not the new price. His boss agreed to help me sell them since I know squat about tools. Well, his boss called me today and told me that my husband’s parents had called.
They had previously tried to get his tools while he was on life support at the hospital and wanted them again. At that point, the boss told them no, that they weren’t leaving the yard without my permission. But they had to go and do something horrifically selfish. They convinced one of my husband’s co-workers that my husband had given them several tools before he passed, and to get them from his toolbox and deliver them.
Luckily, his boss has a list of which tools were taken. So tomorrow morning I am taking the list, his boss’s statement, and my husband’s will to the authorities and having them charged with theft, getting a restraining order, and getting those tools back. These people haven’t given me a moment’s rest since my husband was admitted to the hospital with terminal cancer.
They have threatened me, told lies about me, tried to take things from me, and just harassed me constantly. It was so bad that my dying husband had them banned from the hospital. At which point they tried to force their way in. Security turned them away. And the sad thing is, they don’t even think they are doing anything wrong.
They believe they are more entitled to his things than his wife and five-year-old son. I have tried ignoring them, but they just keep escalating. And since they refuse to speak to me directly, the only option I have available is going to the authorities. And since his dad has a history of disorderly behavior, assault, and uttering threats, it should be easy to get officers to throw in a restraining order.
I really hope no one is home when the officers show up so they have to go to his mom’s work. She has a type of job where you need a clean record to work there.
23. Mother Knows Best
At the point of this story, my ex-husband and I have been separated for over a year. It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster, and the drama never seemed to end. I honestly felt like I was drowning from time to time…and the biggest problem was my mother-in-law. The stuff her son put me through was horrible, but she was giving him a run for his money the entire time.
So I’m eager to be divorced and move on. Or move on as much as I can, considering we have a kid together and he uses the kid to exert control over both of us. Plus, his mother is doing the same thing and trying to manipulate the situation. Now, our divorce is an easy DIY process. I fill out court paperwork, but then realize I have to get an adult to serve it to my ex.
The server signs a “I served him” form and it’s all filed at court together. I then take the paperwork with me to my mother-in-law’s house, because my ex lives with her and I went there a lot for changing over taking care of the kids. At the time, my ex and I were in a fairly good place and life was going ok (provided he always got his way).
I no longer angered him by seeming like I had a brain of my own or anything. However, it was just after he and his mother tried to buy me back with flowers. They totally think they’ve got me all swindled and distracted by these massive flowers…and I ruin it as I want to divorce. It probably shocked them as to why I wasn’t swooning and begging for him back.
In any case, I ask my mother-in-law if she minds handing the divorce paperwork to him to serve him officially. It just has to be served by an adult; any adult that isn’t me. Then sign on the dotted line on the “I served him” form that I had with me. She says, “I’m not handing it to him unless I read it!!! I’m not being involved with anything that would be nasty towards my son. I need to know what you are saying isn’t lies”.
Now, in our state divorce in a no-fault system. The paperwork is literally tick a box saying “I want a divorce please” and filling in our personal particulars. There’s no room for embellishments, reasons or...lies. So I agree that she could read it. She asks if I could leave it with her for a few days to read. I tell her it can’t leave my sight and needs to be served in front of me.
This is also partly because I’m not an idiot. So she says she will read it. At this point, my ex—he’s home—tries to read it over her shoulder and she has to shoo him off. She reads the entire thing end to end as I sat there. She puts it down and proceeds to infuriate me. “I’m not handing that to him. It will upset him”. “There’s nothing nasty there, it’s just our personal details and a request to divorce. He just needs to agree or not. Either way we’re getting divorced”.
“Not going to happen. You’re not getting divorced, he clearly doesn’t want to and you’ve both got to want it”. But this is where she was wrong. “I don’t need his permission to divorce him, we don’t both need to be there. If it’s too hard for him to face, just serve this and I’ll do the rest. He doesn’t even have to show up to court”.
“I will not serve it. I will not upset my babyyyyyy”. I recall asking if I could ask an adult sibling to serve it, seeing as they were also all there. I got told by them too that I was being unreasonable to want to divorce their precious brother and was absolutely nuts for letting him go. Ok. So I leave and on my way out my ex is sitting on the floor in the doorway of the front door.
You know, very unsubtly blocking my exit. Full on tears and victim mode. “Whyyyyy are you divorcing meeeeeeeeeeee”. Really? Um, every type of mistreatment the book. The narcissism, the gaslighting. But of course, I can’t say that as it will set him off, so I don’t really commit to an answer. I gingerly try to side-step around him and get out of there.
I’m feeling super “triggered” by his blocking the exit but trying not to show him that I was triggered. Show him a weakness and you’ll have it used against you. He then proceeded to try to whine his way back into my heart. It was uncomfortable. I stood there for a polite time to make him feel like I’d listened, then I left as quickly as I could, trying not to anger him. But I still have a huge problem.
As my mother-in-law won’t serve him the paperwork and I still want my divorce, I pay money for a qualified process server to do the job. The server’s first question was “Why don’t you just get some friend to hand it to him? It’s far cheaper”. Then I explained and he said he understood. Two weeks later, the process server called me and said, “What the heck is wrong with these people"?!
This was before I even said hello. The story he told me made my jaw drop. Apparently, they locked down everything to stop him! He had to leap over their wrought-iron gate to even knock on their door. Every time my mother-in-law or anyone else came to the door they claimed my ex was not there even though his car was in driveway and a man was behind them who met his description.
They also tried crying and screaming “go awayyyyy”. They eventually stopped answering the door to his knocks and all three screamed “go away” to the server. Now, a while ago my ex sustained a work-related injury, and he rarely left the house because my mother-in-law waited on him hand and foot. It was definitely him there at the time.
The server decided he had to do a technical serve, stick it on his car, nail one to the front door, post one in the mailbox, and do a long, detailed affidavit explaining everything he did. He also said that he saw a man that matched the photo I provided, but the people in the house said it wasn’t him. Finally, he noted the huge number of times he went to the address and tried to serve.
Later I find out my ex had turned his waterworks on his mother and she went into protective mama bear mode to protect him from...being divorced. The financial settlement and kid settlement stuff had already been done, so this was just divorce to no longer be married—that is all. It’s like a sick joke. Perhaps they had another money-grabbing idea in the works, I guess I’ll never know.
So court day arrives. I’m crazy nervous. The biggest hurdle: Will the judge accept that he was served? Otherwise, I’ve got to keep trying to serve him, which is more money for me to pay. I half expected them to show up and be dramatic and refuse to go ahead. But I got some advice and the lawyer said that provided one person asked for a divorce, it’s pretty much a sure thing to get a divorce regardless of what the other person says.
But they could still cause delays so the judge could verify their claims or whatever. I can’t believe what actually ended up happening. They didn’t show up. I sat in the courtroom watching other cases go through like a well-oiled machine, and all the staff in the courtroom moved mechanically and repeatedly. It was almost beautiful to watch them do their thing.
Then finally my name was called. I stand up and introduce myself. The Judge stops. The well-oiled machine stopped. The courtroom staff look from judge to me. I get the feeling this doesn’t happen often. The judge was silent as she read through the paperwork once, then twice. She looks up at me and peers at me for a few seconds.
Then she asks, “Why was he so difficult to serve, do you think”? “Um...I believe that he thought if I couldn’t serve him...that we won’t be getting divorced”. She looked at the paperwork again. “You’ve been separated for more than a year...finances sorted...kids sorted…” The rest of the court staff lean forward in interest. It’s like this court file is the kind that they’re all going to read later and discuss for weeks around the lunch room table.
Judge shook her head in a big nooooo. I thought all was lost—but then came the twist. “Well despite his best efforts, my opinion is that he was legally served. You’ve brought this to his attention on a number of occasions and you WILL be getting your divorce today”. Well-oiled machine kicked back up into gear she said something about him having 30 days to object to the divorce.
Still, the only thing that can stop a divorce at that stage is us reconciling the relationship and us skipping back into the courtroom hand in hand. Nonetheless, some people do try to object just to be difficult. She looked at her file and suggested I might need more advice as a precaution if he’s that insistent on not being divorced. After that, the blood rushing through my ears drowned out the rest.
Oh the relief. A month later, the divorce papers arrived by post. I knew my ex got his own paperwork the same time as he and my mother-in-law claimed I was a con artist and somehow lied to the court. However, they didn’t apply to the court to get it reversed after all that effort. My poor mother-in-law’s son was all divorced. And, thank God, so was I.
24. Wrongfully Accused
My sister disowned me 12 years ago. She was having an affair, and the whole family had gone out to a bar for a graduation celebration. She got really angry as the night went on. I was confused and we got into an argument and I ended up leaving, I didn't hear from her for a few days which was unusual, so I called her and she was still super angry.
I asked, "What's wrong now? " She was pretty moody most of the time, I think my whole life I've walked on eggshells around her. But now she said, "You know what you did"! Um, no. I had no idea. So she begins to tell me that on their way home from the bar that graduation night, her husband told her that I told him she was having an affair.
No, I did not. I told her as much, but she would not believe me. I finally said, “You got played, he must have been suspicious and made it up. When you figure out the truth, call me”. Well, fast forward 12 years later. My husband and I run into her now ex-husband today. I finally asked him why he had said that?? He looked at me like he had no idea what I was saying.
He told me, "You never said anything to me"! I felt...gut-punched, relieved, all kinds of emotions. I knew I had drinks that night, but I remembered the whole night. I felt justified but still sad. I told him, so you both had affairs and I was the collateral damage? He said he was sorry. I've lost my whole family over this. In fact, our brother was in an industrial accident about five years ago and because of this, I wasn't invited to the family funeral.
I've been through therapy, have a great husband and wonderful kids, but have always felt this abandoned feeling. At least I know I really did nothing wrong,
25. Weddings Make You Crazy
My fiancé and I are going to get married in a few months, and we've decided we don't want kids at the wedding. We've also assigned the roles that are usually performed by children to our beloved pets. My dog will be the flower girl, my fiancé’s dog will be the ring bearer, and my two cats are co-maids of honor. Our friends, my fiancé’s sister, and my brothers think this is adorable.
Alas! Our other relatives do not share this enthusiasm. His parents said they thought it was strange but accepted it because they want us to be happy. But my parents were downright horrible. They threw a fit and accused me of "placing animals above children". I calmly explained to them that this was my fiancé’s and my wedding and it really wasn't their place to decide who would be a part of it.
Our pets are well trained and well behaved, which is more than I can say about our relatives' kids. But as it happens, my parents aren't even coming to my wedding because I refused to follow a certain wedding tradition I object to—the father "giving away" the daughter. Good riddance! However, they sadly are not the only ones causing trouble.
One of the friends I've known since childhood is a mother of three and was going to be one of the bridesmaids. She was "horrified" when she learned that my dog and cats will be in the wedding party. Surely, her three ill-mannered kids should have had that honor. She threatened to not come to the wedding too. I made it easier for her by taking her name off the guest list.
Then, my cousin who has two kids told me she would bring her kids anyway. When she and her family were actually there, surely I won't be able to do anything about it. I told her I would have her, her husband, and their kids escorted out by security. That shut her up. My fiancé’s then-friend asked him to "make me" replace my dog with his daughter as the flower girl.
He was warned to never bring it up again. This wedding will be a special day for my fiancé and I and we will not let other people's entitlement ruin it.
26. We’ve Got Your Back
So my husband has been on pins and needles because he wants to tell everyone about my pregnancy. I'm eight weeks along now, and we found out when I was six weeks. We agreed that we wouldn't tell anyone until I was halfway through my second trimester. However, his mom's birthday is this Saturday and she's turning 70—they are older grandparents.
Although we got her a nice handbag that she had been hinting at for her birthday months ago, he really thought this news would make her happy and I agreed. So she took the train down with her sister, my husband’s aunt, and we’re making a long weekend of it. Also, his siblings don't live far away, so we all decided to go to a hotel for a staycation so we would be in the heart of the city.
That way, we wouldn't have to host that many guests in our large but not fully furnished condo. We were having dinner at a nice Italian restaurant and my husband tapped his glass to get everyone's attention. Then he announced our little bean’s arrival. Everyone is happy and we are all giving hugs, kisses, congratulations, good jobs etc. It turned dark out of nowhere.
Suddenly his aunt just says, “Well it's about time! The way you spend his money, you should have given him children ages ago"! So I'm about to rip this woman a new one, but my brother-in-law jumps in and says "Oh Aunt, I didn't know you were the executor over my brother’s finances"! I was happy he defended me, and you’d think this would’ve shut her up.
But no. She then says, "Well I mean she doesn't work, all she does is shop”. Side note: This aunt likes to make stuff up in her head, especially when she doesn't like someone. I jumped in and said, "I have worked every day since six months before graduating from college”. Then my husband says, "The only person who has ridiculous spending habits, aunt, is you. My wife has never spent more than she made and has always bargained shopped though she's never had to”.
He continued: “We have not had children yet because I didn't want to disrupt her education with an infant, and that was OUR decision we made together. My wife has been nothing but good, kind, faithful, and loving toward me and this family and you owe her an apology for attempting to disparage her and our relationship with your lies".
Oh man, I was walking on air at that point. But then it got even better. My wonderful mother-in-law comes in and says to her sister, "You really need to apologize to my daughter and the rest of the family because you’re projecting who you are into her. In the six years she has been a member of this family you have barely said a word to her and you choose now to say something and it be negative at that”.
The aunt has now turned six shades of red and looks more indignant than contrite. But she begrudgingly "apologizes" by saying “Well, I was not aware that you work, I guess I stand corrected”. I wasn’t going to let her get away with that. I’m super angry at this point and I tell her "That is not an apology". She says “Well that's all you’re going to get, Missy".
I said, "Then you can take yourself home or somewhere else because you will not be enjoying a hotel room that me and my husband paid for. Also, don’t think you’re going to partake in the festivities that we all planned and also paid for, not while disrespecting me at the same time". My husband backs me up with an "Exactly"!
She then says "What are you going to do, kick me out of the suite"? Everyone says in unison "Exactly"! She looks appalled and my mother-in-law says, "Aunt, apologize or leave”. She finally apologizes for real and we continue on with the dinner as if nothing happened. Today we are going to a play and then an early dinner as my mother-in-law and her sister are not a night owls.
I just want to say it feels so good to be loved, and to have family that supports and loves me. This is my first time having this, and these past six years with my in-laws and husband have been a dream. We are not perfect, but we love each other and have each other's backs. They taught me what a family really is and about loyalty. I feel so blessed.
27. Get Your Own Husband
We are a big family. Grandparents, mom, my mom’s boyfriend, my half-sister, me, and my fiancé. It’s a decent house with four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and the house belongs to my grandparents. I moved in while going to college and my fiancé joined me after we got engaged. We are going to move out next month to get our own lives started.
My mom, her boyfriend, and their daughter (who is two years old) moved in about four months ago when they sold their house. Little things have been driving me bonkers, like them not shutting cabinet doors, or my mom’s boyfriend leaves his razor out and his hair in the sink or on the counter. Their dog always gets on my bed and is always laying on me when I’m allergic. But that’s not the worst part.
My mom’s boyfriend, who is a loud and big guy, says the weirdest things. His latest thing has been teaching their daughter to address my fiancé as her husband...The first time, I laughed. But after that first time, she went back to calling my fiancé by his name, and my mom’s boyfriend corrected her, saying, “No that’s your husband”.
At that point, I kind of looked at him funny. She said, “that’s my husband”. My mom’s boyfriend corrected her a few more times and started telling her, “go get your husband, give him a hug and a kiss”. My fiancé hasn’t said anything to me because he loves her and doesn’t let her kiss him on the lips, he slides his head to the side for a cheek kiss. But, ugh.
When I said to my mom “Don’t you think that’s weird”? my mom asked me if I was jealous of my sister...Um. No? I just think this is weird! I don’t know, maybe this time with them is making me lose it, but I’m so over living with them. My fiancé and I also talked to my grandparents about it, and they also found it strange and uncomfortable, thank God.
We have decided we will, whenever they are calling him her “husband”, respond with “you love your brother, don’t you”? Since he will be her brother-in-law, after all. My fiancé said it made him uncomfortable and if this trend continues we will be more aggressive in our approach. My mom’s boyfriend can be a bit of a doofus and I don’t believe it’s anything too malicious.
I can’t believe he would be hurting his daughter or do something to harm our family. I think he doesn’t realize what he’s saying and how blatantly weird it is, considering I’m not his child. I’ve almost been considered like a sister to my mom rather than her daughter. This has made for an odd family dynamic, separating our mom and daughter bond to more of a friendship.
Still weird. Not disregarding that fact. But if he continues to be weird about it and if the rest of our family joins in, we will make our voices and opinions heard.
28. The Buck Stops Here
I’m usually the one running around every birthday and holiday to make sure everyone feels special and all the gifts are thoughtful. My husband, however, has a very easy ride and only has to cater for me. I have run around like a loon during this last holiday season for my parents and in-laws, food shopping, medication, hospital appointments, everything.
I’m also working full-time in a hospital. On my birthday, nobody except my husband did anything special for me, and even my adult kids had to be reminded to call me. On Valentine’s Day I bought my husband a special gift he loved. Meanwhile, I got gas station flowers. So for Easter, I sat back and did nothing. Everyone got random chocolates that my husband went to get last minute because I informed him on the Saturday I’d bought nothing and had no intention of doing so.
I cooked nothing special for Easter lunch when I usually make starters, mains, and desserts from scratch, and spent the whole day doing what I wanted to do. Everyone noticed. And they know why I did it, because my husband told them. On the Monday, my kids cleaned my house and my husband made dinner and did the washing. I think they might finally get it.
29. Don’t Tread On Me
When I was 22, my extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, and everyone else began asking me why I wasn't married yet. I spent my childhood and early 20s in a fairly conservative North Indian state. People in those areas tend to be deeply misogynistic and the only way a woman has any value in their eyes is if she's attached to a man as his wife.
Her own accomplishments, talents, etc., are of no consequence. So it wasn't all that surprising when I began getting these ridiculous questions about marriage while I was still in college. I had also recently lost a lot of weight and for the first time I actually looked good in jeans. My weight loss seemed to cause their queries to reach whole new levels of idiocy.
You see, they all assumed that the only reason I had lost weight was so I could land a husband. Surely I hadn't done it for the sake of my own health and well-being, or because I wanted to look good for myself. That would be preposterous! This is where my troubles truly began. My aunt was friends with a busybody "matchmaker".
Matchmakers in India are these middle-aged women who have nothing better to do than to go around carrying photographs and information about "eligible" bachelors and bachelorettes. They then share them with the families of young men and women who are looking to marry them off. My aunt's friend was no different. She showed my aunt a picture some guy in his late 20s.
He also "had a great job and was from a respectable family". Let's call this guy Ajay. My aunt shared the picture and the information with my grandmother, who is also an awful person. Between the two of them, they decided that Ajay, whom I had never met before, would be the perfect match for me. Keep in mind that neither I nor my dad had any inkling of what was going on.
One afternoon, I think it was a Sunday, total chaos broke out. My aunt came over when I wasn't home. She told my dad to "get his daughter dressed up and pretty" because she had promised me to a guy and his parents were coming over to see me that very evening. The tone in which she spoke made it sound like she had done me and my dad a big favor.
My dad was shocked and asked what the heck she was talking about. She told him she had taken it upon herself to find a groom for me (without my knowledge or consent) and "taken some of the burden off his shoulders". She said that their mother (my grandmother) had approved of the match, too. My dad told her he would have to speak to me first.
He also made it clear that whether the guy's parents can come over or not depends on what I have to say about this. The little witch actually tried to convince my dad that my consent wasn't necessary and that as elders, they had every right to make this decision for me. But my dad wasn't having it. When I came home a few hours later, my aunt greeted me with a hug.
This was enough to send red flags flying everywhere. I asked her what was going on and she gleefully told me what she had done and how her proposition had my grandmother's blessings. I told her to shove it and that I was in no mood to have an arranged marriage—not then, not ever. She looked shocked and asked how I could say such a thing after all the trouble she's been through in order to find "such a wonderful young man" for me. So I decided to get dirty.
I told her if the "wonderful young man" is making her so happy, why doesn't she go marry him? My dad heard this and told me to watch myself. I told him I would if this witch knew her place and knew not to poke her nose where it doesn't belong. Meanwhile, my grandmother had heard the commotion from her room and called out to my dad.
She began telling him about how she had seen the guy's picture and the matchmaker had told them all about his family. She said how a match like this may not come along again. My dad told her that he would never force his daughter to marry if she doesn't want to. My stepmom said the same. I merely told her she was insane and belongs in a lunatic asylum.
This of course, caused both my grandmother and my crazy aunt to fake cry and go on and on about how my dad doesn't trust them to make the right decision for his daughter, and that they were family and family has the right to make decisions for each other. I wasn't going to budge, however. I told them I wasn't going to meet the guy or his parents and that my aunt better cancel the meeting if she knows what's good for her.
My aunt left our house grumbling. But the drama was far from over. My grandmother, in order to emotionally blackmail my dad into agreeing to the match, stopped eating. Anytime food was brought to her, she would break into crocodile tears and whine about how my dad was dishonoring her wishes. As she was diabetic, her health began to deteriorate.
My dad was scared. One evening, he and my stepmom sat me down and asked if I would consider the proposal and just have a meeting with Ajay's family. I was still adamant and said no. My aunt came over again and said she had great news, as Ajay's parents were still interested in meeting me and they would allow me to study and have a career after I married their son.
I asked her what part of the word "NO" did she not understand the last time we spoke and who the heck do Ajay's parents think they are to "allow" me to do anything? My aunt once again flew into an impotent rage and asked how I could be so selfish. How I could disobey my family like this and some other garbage about how marriage is a union between families and not just individuals.
She also talked about how in her days, girls were married off as soon as they reached adulthood whether they liked it or not. I let her go on for some time as her little hissy fit was quite amusing to me. After she and exhausted herself, I told her that if she, grandmother, or even my parents try to force me into this marriage, I was going to harm myself.
And if I survived, officers would know that I did it because I was being forced to marry against my will and all involved would be in a world of trouble. Even if I perished, I would leave behind enough evidence in the form of emails to all my friends and college professors detailing how I was being mentally tormented so I could be forced into this marriage.
Both outcomes would result in all of them in deep trouble. But I was just getting warmed up. I even showed them the email I had already written, all I had to do was send it. And if any of them even think of locking me up and taking away my phone, laptop, etc, they should remember that my vocal cords still work and I would gather the entire neighborhood with my screams.
As I spoke, my aunt's eyes kept getting wider and wider. She was in shock, but she knew me well enough to know that I was very capable of doing all of this. She left quietly. Grandmother must have heard every word, because her hunger strike came to an end. My aunt never tried to look for a match for me again. Later, my dad told me that he was only asking me to think about the match and that he would never force me to do something I didn't want to do.
I told him I knew that and assured him that my threats were only meant to scare my aunt. And they worked.
30. To What Do We Owe The Displeasure?
My husband and I have been married 10+ years now but don't have kids. His family is overseas, and he was sent to the US at age 14 to attend school because his family is pretty wealthy—oil business, film stars, and politicians. Not Crazy Rich Asians level, but certainly a far cry from my own working-poor background. Over the years, we discussed moving back, but the big roadblock is his crazy family.
Some of the stuff they've done over the years include: Guilting us for money so his older brother (who has three kids, two servants, and never held a job) could go on a vacation. Making us cancel a trip to an island because his mother wanted to “surprise” me with a trip to the orphanage to hold babies...because I didn't hold my niece enough, which means I hate kids.
I should mention I've worked in childcare for five years...but they don't know what I do for a living. They threw us a "wedding" that we didn't ask for, mostly to drum up support for their political campaigns. They then insisted on getting us rings that don't fit and making my dress, which also didn't fit. My auntie is a seamstress and told me the measurements I sent were fine.
However, my mother-in-law insisted that I couldn't be that skinny and my sausage American fingers were definitely not a size 4 for the ring. They also told my husband to divorce me because I refused to wear that hideous dress she wanted me to wear. Really guys, it was an awful, tight, heavy-fabric dress that was so narrow that I couldn't walk in it.
They love constantly guilting us with memes and sayings about "give all you have to your parents" and "heaven is at the feet of the mother" then outright telling us that we "owe" them money because they raised my husband and sent him to school. I'm thinking, why the heck did you have kids then? Last I checked, sending your kid to school is raising your kids!
Recently, my husband got a raise and foolishly tells them, thinking they might just MAYBE say something like "we're proud of you". But no. Just "Okay, you owe us $1,000 a month now to payback living expenses”. What the heck. I should mention that this family has $$$ and my husband—having grown up with their brainwashing—has been doggedly insistent that we NEVER seek help from them, even if it means sleeping on the streets.
Now I understand why. He's always "in their debt".
31. The Odd Woman Out
I have been with my boyfriend for a number of years now. When my parents found out, I was screamed at, pushed, and told I was disowned for my choices. They told me my boyfriend would mistreat me and “don’t come crawling back when he hurts you”. Anyway, years later things are great with him and my parents are seemingly realizing they might’ve messed up.
Everyone wants to rug sweep and play happy family with some texts and phone calls. Recently I graduated from a year-long master’s program. It was incredibly hard, I excelled and should do well in my new field. My parents told me it was a bad investment and have not supported me in any way including financially (not that I expected it).
They knew when I was graduating and never expressed any interest in coming. Interestingly enough, they were in my state house-hunting but only stayed the weekend. I didn’t remind them of my graduation date (having already told them). But then they outdid even themselves. They invited me to lunch which would’ve been a 5-HOUR ROUND TRIP for me.
They have never come to visit me. I didn’t go as I still had finals to submit. So graduation goes off without a hitch! Beautiful, I’m so excited…until I get a text from mom. She knows I graduated, which is not a secret. She then mentions all the social media photos—which actually is weird that she even saw them, because she blocked me before. This is what she texts me.
“Listen, Congratulations on graduating. I think that’s wonderful. I’m just letting you know the lack of respect you and your sister have for your father is unbelievable. You both continuously just hurt this poor man. It’s really sad. The things he’s done for you both growing up and the continuous lack of respect you both show him as adults is beyond me”.
“I would never treat my parent with such disrespect. I feel really sad for him. This has nothing to do with me because I let go a long time ago and I could have a cordial relationship with both of you. But that man gave you life and gave up a lot for both of you when you were younger. Just wanted to remind you of that. Again congratulations yes. We saw all the pictures from everyone who sent them to us today”.
Excuse me, YOU KNEW.
32. Somebody Call Pest Control
My dad wanted me to make a music video for him for free, as I work in the film industry. My parents have always been indifferent about my career. However my littlest brother—who is the golden child of the family—now wants to be an actor, and suddenly they are highly invested. OH BOY. So my dad found an opportunity for a "family commercial" for a local news station.
He then volunteered the whole family for it without asking us first. Oh, but it gets so much more outrageous. It’s an extermination commercial, and it would require dressing up in a full insect costume. I said no thanks. Dad was mad because they were "counting on me".
I stuck with my previous answer. A few days later Dad texted again saying the producer had "asked for me specifically” (ha, yeah right) and would I let him know soon what I had decided? What the heck?? I already decided. Why are you pretending that I haven't? 12 hours later he texted again saying "I feel hurt when you don't respond" and "Am I expecting too much? Would you prefer I not reach out so often"?
Ugh, so manipulative to send a I-guess-you-don’t-love-me-anymore text. I composed maybe the most confrontational text I've ever sent him, saying: "I already gave you guys my answer. I said no thanks and that hasn't magically changed. I'm frustrated that you seem to think that I haven't made a decision unless it’s the one you want me to make".
He waited a couple of hours (oh irony) and then responded "I don't care what decision you make... I remain hurt, but willing to bother you less". ARGGGGGH. Way to twist my words dude. I never said "stop bothering me" I said, "respect when I say no". And now the whole family is irritated that I won't just "be invested in the family" and dress up like an ant.
My life is so weird.
33. Travel Far Away From That Man
I have just realized how much my husband doesn't have my back and I'm at a loss for words. The issue occurs whenever I recount my life story to anyone and mention that I lived in three countries. My husband has been triggered by this lately and tells me that "this is not impressive and it's not that many places" and "you think it makes you better than everyone else”.
I currently live abroad again, in HIS home country where he spent his life and I previously lived for a year, and he has also told me "Just tell people where you're from and that you lived where you're from, you don't have to tell them anything else". What?
So he wants me to hide facts about my life? He is offended that I love my life. However, he tells me that my history is not impressive and when he sees anyone who responds to it with interest, he tells me that I embellished the experience (not true either, I tell true stories and I love to share). Weeks ago, he also told me that "someone who lived in 30 countries is impressive and your history is not".
By the way, we live in his home country because he didn't want to leave it, and he never lived abroad himself. Also, I don't know anyone who actually lived in as many as 30 countries but if I did, I would be impressed. I recently told one of his family members about living abroad and my husband entered the conversation to tell him that I didn't live where we currently are, in their home country, "for that long".
I'm coming up on three years here and lived here previously for a year with my family (moved back to get married) but I never said it was longer than that. I later told him he entered that conversation to try and undermine me, as if I were some liar. He said he just wanted to tell the guy that it hasn't been that long. And then he told me that I should "get real about your life experience" and "someone should put you in your place when you talk about your life".
I am not speaking to him this morning. The sight of him disgusts me. I told him last night that he didn't put me in my place but lost my respect. I can't even believe he attacks me in such a childish way. I just don't understand this, and why this is a trigger. I asked him what the problem was last night and he says I think it makes me better than everyone else.
I never said that, I don't school people on where they should live, I love people's stories about studying or living abroad and traveling, and I have the right to love whatever I want about my life and share it with people, especially when it doesn't hurt or embarrass him. I just have no words.
34. Congrats, It’s A Meddling Mother-In-Law!
My mother-in-law just sent us a box…full of baby stuff. I was confused and so was my husband. And then we read the note and I nearly screamed. It said, “for my future granddaughter”. We are NOT pregnant right now, but she is desperate for a girl. She HAD to send that, knowing full well my sister-in-law ain’t giving her any grandbabies and she “only” has two grandsons from myself and my husband.
I was so angry she wasted this baby stuff on a nonexistent granddaughter, what does she expect? For us to be like “Oh we have baby clothes now time to make a baby”! Also, is she not considering the fact that there’s a 50/50 chance of any baby being a girl or boy? Honey, you have two grandsons, be happy with them because they’re the only grandkids you’ll ever have.
Imagine how the boys feel knowing that their grandma keeps wanting a granddaughter and not them? It sucks. Luckily one of our friends is expecting a girl in August so we donated all that stuff to her. My husband later told her, “Thanks for the baby stuff! [Friend] will be thankful for this”. She then got angry we were “destroying” her nonexistent granddaughter.
35. On To Bigger And Better Things
I met my ex-fiancée after my best friend introduced us when I was 13. My ex and I hit it off instantly and became inseparable. About a year later my parents passed in a car accident. I didn't want my grandparents to put their life on hold, so I decided to get myself emancipated. I got a job selling my art and was doing well and still ended up graduating top of the class.
My ex, best friend and I decided to get a place together to save on college expenses. When I was 20 years old, I proposed to my ex, and shortly after we found out she was pregnant. We decided to keep the kid. After my daughter was born, it all went off the rails. My ex became more distant and spent less time with our daughter, and I later found out she dropped out of college.
She started partying more. At one point, I thought she was getting better but she just hid it better. One day I came back from a doctor's appointment for my daughter…and that was the last thing I remember. My best friend later told me the horrible truth. She told me that there was an “incident”, to put it lightly. My ex had been cheating on me and the guy showed up at my place and chaos broke loose.
He ended up shooting me a few times. My ex decided that she was more worried about getting her illicit substances out of the apartment before the authorities came. She never came back. My best friend found me on the ground with my daughter crying her eyes out in my arms. She took my daughter next door while she called the authorities.
I was in a coma for about for about two weeks. When I woke up, she told me my daughter is fine and my grandparents are taking care of her. I instantly started crying while she was holding me. The guy ended up going to behind bars and my ex got charged with child neglect and possession. While behind bars, she signed away her rights to my daughter.
To this day I still can't remember what happened. During the trial, the guy said the only reason I was alive is that his gun jammed. I had to learn how to walk again and move my right arm. There were sometimes I just wanted to give up. Just one thing kept me going. My physical therapist told me once "just imagine the look on your daughter's face when you're able to walk to her and pick her up".
I honestly don't think I would've made it through physical therapy if I didn't have my daughter and my best friend. The first time I walked without help I gave my best friend the biggest hug ever and thanked her for everything. My best friend and I grew closer because of the whole ordeal, and we now have a baby boy and she is my fiancée.
Weirdly I'm kind of grateful for what happened to me. I'd never felt this kind of love with my ex as I do with my now-fiancée, and I also found my new passion in life as a physical therapist—I’m currently going to school for it. So now to the present day. My cousin called me up and said he wanted to talk to me. We met at a coffee shop, but the instant I walked in I knew something was up.
He didn't even say hi, he just asked where my daughter was. I told him she's with her mother (my current fiancée) and brother. I never encouraged her to call my fiancée “mom” but the moment she did and I saw the look on her face I knew that I had to marry this incredible woman. The instant I said that, my ex rounded the corner.
She said that she's the mother and that no one else can be called that. I lost it on both of them and yelled that she gave up that right the moment she left her daughter next to me while I was dying so she could hide her stash. I left shortly after that. My cousin called the next day to say sorry about ambushing me like that. And then he dropped another stunner on me.
He said the main reason he asked me there was to let me know he's dating my ex and wanted to bring her to my wedding. I told him that I'm glad he found love after his divorce, but she's not coming and she's not going to see my daughter. It ended in another argument, and I told him that he's no longer my best man. I hung up and blocked him for the moment.
Now, most of my relatives that I don’t really talk to are calling me a jerk for what I did. I honestly don’t think that I am a jerk, but I’m starting to second guess myself. My fiancée said that she will support me no matter what decision I make, even if that means calling off the wedding to deal with the drama. God, I love this woman. I'm definitely not calling off the wedding.
I really want my cousin to come to my wedding because he helped me out a lot after my parents passed and he has always been there for me and my daughter.
36. Wakey Wakey, Time For More Dysfunction
I am going crazy at my horrible father-in-law’s house. For some dumb reason, we decided to fly across the country to stay for six days with this man. He doesn't listen, like literally he doesn't care what anyone has to say. He acts like a dictator. He treats his 30-year-old children like they're four years old. He won’t even let us get a drink without watching and questioning our moves and choices.
He's also completely unempathetic. So my last straw just happened. He had to step out for a walk because he was clearly furious that we didn't want to take my NAPPING 15-month-old to his neighborhood park. When he gets back, he starts talking in a very loud voice saying my son has been napping long enough. Um, no, he's actually missing out on nap time because of all this traveling and being in another home with people he barely knows.
My son was sleeping soundly through his yelling, so he decides it is time to vacuum. Yep, he turns the vacuum on right by my sleeping baby. This man is a psychopath. We won't be coming back here.
37. The Deepest Betrayal
I’m 21, and my mom is 53. I live with my mom while I go to college. Throughout my whole life, she has never dated or had a relationship. She's never even really shown an interest in dating. This changed about half a year ago, when she signed up for a couple of online dating sites. She talks to me about the guys she chats with a lot and she spends a lot of time talking to them.
Like, she's on her phone all day messaging them and she literally loses sleep because she stays up all night talking to them. It's something I've been worried about with her, that her talking to these guys is negatively affecting her life. She's missed work and appointments because of losing sleep or getting distracted and being late. But it suddenly came to a crisis.
I was using her phone yesterday to take pictures as her camera is a lot better than mine. While I was using it, she got a message from one of these guys. It said something like "Wow, the red hair looks amazing"! Now, I had dyed my hair red that day so I thought she sent the guy a picture of it. The thought made me uncomfortable, as I don't want her to be sending pictures of me to people I don't know.
I get paranoid about that kind of stuff. So I looked at her messages. I know it's a trespassing of privacy to snoop, but I needed to see what and how much she sent of me. I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. The message she sent to him was a picture I had posted on Facebook of my new hair, and the caption she used was "I’m feeling creative, what do you think of my new look"?
That confused the heck out of me, obviously. The idea that she was pretending to be me didn't even cross my mind at that point because of how ridiculous it seemed. So I kept reading back in her messages. He referred to her as "Marie", which is my middle name. I looked in the sent pictures…and none of them were of her. There were dozens of me.
I'm a makeup enthusiast so I post photos of my makeup looks on Instagram and Facebook almost every day, and almost all of the ones I posted from the past month were sent. There were even pictures of me in swimsuits from beach trips. I immediately felt sick and couldn't stop digging through the messages. Some of the messages were EXTREMELY racy nature.
It made me so nauseated to read the things the guy said about me. And even more nauseated to read the stuff my mom said about me. Like talking about my red lipstick. I looked through more of the people she was messaging and there were four other guys she was sending my pictures to. I just put her phone back and went to my room.
I feel so sick and angry and scared. My mother has never been inappropriate like this to me in my entire life. I was raised really conservative and Christian so she's barely ever even mentioned intimate things to me. When she first started using these sites, she would complain to me about how no one was interested in her and that she wasn't pretty enough to get attention.
She's morbidly obese and middle-aged and disabled and doesn't really take care of her appearance. Nonetheless, she has REALLY high standards for guys (like 30s, tall, muscular). I'm not gorgeous or anything, but I take pride in making myself look good and taking care of myself. I don't know what to do. I haven't talked to anyone about this because this is so insane and I'm embarrassed and disgusted to mention it to my friends and have them know.
I've been avoiding my mom and haven't let on that I know. I told her I was feeling sick so I could stay in my room and stay away from her. I don't have any idea what to do about this, how to confront her, or if I even should. I'm so scared of how she'll react and I just feel so embarrassed. These guys could find me online. They could be crazy and one could get upset with her and he might even look for me in real life.
I don't know what to do, I'm so confused and scared.
38. One Cool Lady
My grandmother got married when she was just 16 years old. Apparently, this was the common thing to do back in the day in Mexico. When she started dating my grandfather, her parents and siblings hated my him. I'm not entirely sure what their reason was for hating him, but they did. When she married him, she cut off contact with her parents and all of her siblings—like nine of them.
Her parents have now passed as my grandmother is 76 years old, but a few of her siblings are still alive and live in the same tiny town as she does. She never spoke to her parents again except maybe twice in her entire life after marrying my grandfather. She completely cut off her siblings as well and to this day, will not talk to them if they bump into each other at their town.
I always wondered whether my grandmother had any siblings and why I never met them. My mom grew up without knowing her aunts, uncles, or cousins, although she can spot them in the town. I don't know if I'm as crazy as my grandmother, but I think it's amazing that she put her husband before her family even if it meant not speaking to them for over 60 years.
If anyone treated my partner badly, I'd love to have the same strength as my grandmother and cut contact with them.
39. Only One Way To Swing Here
I've been married for a little over three years, and my family has never liked my wife. They're religious and are very close-minded to anything and everything outside of their beliefs. My wife and I are both the "black sheep" members of our families. Right from the start, my family shut out my wife. She had to claw her way into conversations, would always be left out of "sister get-togethers", and was generally passed over because she didn't fit the image that they wanted.
I've always known that my wife was bi. It was never an issue. We would occasionally joke—in the confines of our own home—the people we would go gay or lesbian for (I'm straight). Also, just to clarify before I continue, my wife is a very compassionate person. When she feels bad for someone, she'll be assuring and affectionate. Not over the top, but a close friends kind of way.
She respects boundaries and relationships. My brother's wife had similar issues when coming into the family. She didn't fit the image, but over time she was worn down and adjusted everything about herself to fit in. My brother doesn't defend her against anything. He always thinks that if the direct family has an idea, then he NEEDS to follow through on it, including comments against his wife.
I always encouraged my wife to be herself and not change for anyone. I love her the way she is. Now, because both my wife and my brother's had similar experiences in trying to get into the family, my wife felt compassionate and reached out to her. For a while, things were good. They were able to talk openly about their struggles with the family and help each other. About a week ago, everything changed.
For context, my wife hadn't told anyone in the family about her being bi fear of ridicule and judgment on a "spiritual level”. My wife and my brother's wife were hanging out together one evening to watch a TV show when my brother's wife asked my wife if she was bi. Since they had a good relationship and disclosed a lot of feelings and struggles, she told her the truth.
For a week, nothing became of it. Yesterday, though, my brother called me up saying that we needed to talk. We got together, and that's when he accused my wife of hitting on his. Here's something that I know: my wife has never treated my brother's wife differently than anyone else. I think that because MY wife let someone in—confident it wouldn't change anything—on her orientation, that my brother and his wife are now questioning all of her motives and actions for the entire time we've been together.
But to go so far as to say that MY wife was hitting on my brother's wife...no. Also, my brother's wife didn't say anything afterward. She made everything seem fine. If she had an issue or thought something that serious, she should have gone directly to my wife, not send her guard dog after me for it. As of yesterday, we've cut them out of our lives.
There have been a thousand issues that has led us to cutting them out, but this was the final straw. We're both feeling betrayed.
40. Second Time’s The Charm
Can I shame my mom? Ugh. I hate that I’m even at this point. My mom is convinced that my fiancé and I are being tacky humans for having a wedding. Why? This is a second marriage for both of us. Our spouses both left us before we’d even met one another, so there’s no scandal there. We’re having a moderate wedding next summer with about 105 guests.
Us and four beloved friends are each standing up with us, it’s a lovely outdoor venue, etc.—it’s so perfect for us. She just keeps saying, “I’ve never even HEARD of having GUESTS at a second wedding. I’ve personally never been invited to one and I cannot IMAGINE having a big to-do over a second marriage. You won’t get any gifts and you probably won’t have many people even come because it’s just...not the norm to celebrate a second marriage. Just go to the courthouse and have a nice dinner”.
She then keeps saying "We love you, we're so happy you're happy, but we just think this second wedding is EXTREMELY inappropriate and you're ASKING for people to whisper about you”/ It’s so frustrating and getting hurtful. I don’t even care about gifts or anything like that—screw that, it’s not even the point, and I'm so annoyed that she keeps bringing up the material aspect of things when it doesn't even matter!
It’s more that she thinks our wedding is a waste of time/money because we’ve already done this before and why bother? I was left by my ex-husband after a VERY long nine-year, horrible marriage. This man is...my ex’s polar opposite. He’s kind and generous and good, and God I could gush about him forever. Our friends sure seem over the moon to celebrate this fresh start and new life with us and our kids—my mom is breaking my heart.
41. Left On Fed
So I host Christmas every year. I love to do it. This year we had a turkey and a ham, plus my husband made lasagna and all the sides. Pretty standard. I always offer up some leftovers as people leave—enough turkey/ham to make a few sandwiches, a piece or two of the lasagna, some dessert. Whatever. I’m generous. But I count on the leftovers for my family, and especially look forward to leftover lasagna as my husband makes it once a year.
Anyway, all the leftovers were out on my screened-in porch, because in the winter I treat my porch like a fridge. My sister’s husband asks if he can take some leftovers, I say sure of course. I don’t see him again as he skedaddled immediately upon getting his leftovers. I figured out why afterward. He knew he had to get out quickly…because he took it all.
All of it. All the lasagna, the ham, the sides. He left me with a turkey carcass and the cranberry sauce. I didn’t discover this until some time later when my mom went out to get a piece of lasagna to bring home. Turns out my leftovers were then brought to his brother’s house so they could have it while they watched football. His brother who I cannot stand, by the way.
This guy hits on me constantly and is creepy with my daughter. The brother who couldn’t be bothered to fix Christmas dinner for himself. Not only that, but he took my serving bowls and utensils. I hadn’t gotten the food into containers yet as I was waiting for everyone to go before really cleaning up. The serving bowls were part of my husband’s grandmother’s wedding China set.
Irreplaceable. So my sister calls her husband and lays into him. The whole family is yelling at him. He says he will return the bowls and utensils, but that I told him he could have the leftovers. I still have not gotten my dishes back. I want to tell my sister that he owes me a certain amount of money in return for my husband having to buy more lasagna fixings and another ham.
42. Color Me Annoyed
We have two players in this story: My current sister-in-law is a literal piece of work. Ever since she entered our family it has been nothing but problem after problem. Anyway, my other brother got engaged in November. When his fiancée was picking bridesmaids, she didn't ask my other brother's wife, AKA this current sister-in-law who is a nightmare.
Her reasoning for this is she is not close to her, and my sister-in-law has been mean to her since the get-go. So fair enough, plus it's her wedding, she can do whatever she wants. Well, this witch went off the deep end. She threw a literal tantrum. She went off on my brother's fiancée, saying she won't be at the wedding, doesn't support their marriage, blah blah.
She even went as far as to say that my brother and his fiancée were responsible and the reason for her and my older brother’s marriage problems. All these awful things. And keep in mind that she is 30 years old and was pregnant at the time. To make her happy, my brother's fiancée asked her to be a personal attendant instead at the wedding.
This woman was still angry about it. Come April, though, she apologized to the fiancée which was good. We also were all surprised about it considering she is truly a petty, selfish woman. Anyway, the fiancée asks the personal attendants to wear coral dresses to the wedding while the bridesmaids are wearing blue. COME THE WEDDING DAY, THIS WOMAN DECIDES TO BUY A BRIDESMAID DRESS AND WEAR IT.
HOW DARE SHE. I want to hurt her. I literally want to hurt this woman. And like NO WAY can she defend herself by saying "Oh, I thought we were supposed to wear blue." Because blue and coral and completely different colors. Plus, the dress she was wearing was the exact same color blue as the bridesmaids, and from the same company.
The fiancée and my brother were so angry about it, but no one has said or probably will say anything. I just cannot believe that this 30-year-old woman who is a new mother can be so freaking petty. The reason this is making me so angry for them is because I was the victim of my her wrath for about two years, and my brother and his fiancée are too nice of people to say anything.
And I'm here like NO this is NOT OKAY.
43. Pushed To The Limit
My sister Shelly is now a couple weeks pregnant (again), and apparently has a doctor's appointment to "deal with it" as my mom so helpfully put it. However, we're already raising her first kid after she took off (she is not reliable), and now my mom is constantly "joking" that I'll have another newborn in nine months. I mentally cannot take on a newborn, all day, and then pick up my other niece from school.
Not to mention the toll it will take as Shelly gets bigger and bigger; her being pregnant last time was so scary. I had objects thrown at me, she would scream at mom for hours, then refuse to let my mom leave her own room, then start screaming about how she's putting her hands on a pregnant lady when my mom would try to push past to leave the house.
I told my mom it was a matter of time until this happened again. Since I was told she was pregnant, I was told not to contact anyone from our family or tell any of my friends. I'm supposed to just sit and stew with this information, and that my life is about to be flipped upside down for someone else's actions. Because I’m expected to take care of it.
It's already been flipped upside down from the first kid, I can't handle that again. Not to mention that my only "free time" is during the day when my niece is at kindergarten and my mom is at work. But I also have to clean up the three rooms Shelly trashes every weekend, stay on top of dishes, laundry, and manage to get some time to de-stress by Thursday or Friday.
Giving me maybe 10 or 20 hours "off". Stress level is one of the main things that triggers my mental illness. I've got a pretty good routine right now for managing my stress level and everything I have to get done in a day. Throwing a newborn into the mix will not turn out well, like, I'll spend another few months in a psych ward kind of not well.
I've got a few ideas for how to handle this situation. First, adoption is a thing. Open, closed, whatever. Second, I move out and only pick my niece up from school and wait until my mom gets home. I really don't like this option, but it removes my mom's idea that I will take care of the kid while she is at work. Again, because Shelly sure as heck isn’t going to take care of it.
Third, and this is probably the worst option, call CPS when the kid gets dropped off and cite my mental illness as a reason I can't watch a newborn. Fourth, I lied, this is the worst, there's a worse option: Deal with it till I have a mental breakdown. The fourth option is extra bad, because it will permanently degrade my mental capacity and cause my condition to worsen.
It will also endanger my mom's job gets because she wouldn't be able to stay as late as she needs to. She has clearance, and one person with clearance needs to be there for work to be done. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, Shelly got kicked off the last couch she was staying on and is now staying on a co-worker's couch. Pregnant and couch surfing, how fun!
44. Dinner Is Served
Let me start by telling you that I am allergic to glutamate/E620 as well as gluten, so I cannot eat most ready meals and sauces and whatnot. If I want to eat pasta it has to be special pasta. Anything made from Dinkel wheat is usually ok, since it is very low in gluten. If I eat it, it won´t destroy me, but my stomach and my colon feel like they want it to.
Depending on how much I got that can go on for days. So we were invited to family dinner at my brother’s new home with his new wife at the time. It was a big occasion. My grandma came, my half-brother and my half-sister, and all my nieces and nephews. She had a full house. We specifically told her about my allergies, and I even offered to being food to cook for me, at least pasta, since she has enough work as is.
She acted as if it was no problem whatsoever. She already bought the special pasta, and all her sauces are completely made from scratch, so E620 won´t get anywhere near it. I arrive and right away realize that something is off. So my brother takes me to the side and tells me he caught her using glutamate on everything, even the salad sauce.
This is something she NEVER does. Plus she did not have any gluten-free pasta or bread for breakfast tomorrow. She defended herself by claiming I was faking it, and she was doing all this to finally show everybody I am lying. Now I am seething. I think for a moment. Then I have the perfect idea. I order take out. She is very much into beautiful decorations, so to get back at her I will eat it directly from the container.
Plus looking good in front of others is also really important to her. So we take extra care she does not realize what I am doing, and when everybody is already sitting at the table, I jump up real quick to get my containers. She sees me and right away starts screeching, "How dare you disrespect me like that, I stood in the kitchen for hours"!
Me: You have been told multiple times that I am allergic to certain things, yet you took great care to put it into everything, so I cannot eat anything at this table. I offered to help you with my special diet by cooking my own things, but you claimed it was not a problem. Thank God my brother caught you doing it, or I would have been miserable for days.
Her: YOU ARE FAKING IT ANYWAY. Grandma: ENOUGH, sit down, and serve dinner. This is 100% your fault, and you better pay for his takeout later, or there will be consequences. And she did pay for my dinner. She really learned that day that I am not some hapless victim she can play games with. If you mess with me, I mess back 10 times harder.
It was also the last time she had a huge family dinner at her house, since she was told time and time again she cannot be trusted to cook for the whole family when she tried to organize another one. Her face during dinner was glorious, and especially when I thanked her for the yummy take-out she paid for during the end. She is no longer my brother’s wife, either.
45. Do Not Cross This Sister
Back in 2013, I had to schedule surgery. The time frame was important, due to finding out around Thanksgiving and being urged to get it done before Christmas. My wife was prepared, having got it set up with her work to use her vacation time to care for me. My family knew I would be back by the 22nd and would be exhausted and sore but manage the holiday.
After making sure everyone knew weeks ahead of time, my wife and I thought that we were ready for my surgery to go off without a hitch on the 19th. But that’s not what happened—something much worse did. I wake up from surgery and am in the hospital room when I see my wife missed a text from my sister, who is a lovely person.
She says: SO MAD right now, call me. Groaning, I pawn the cell off on my wife and drift off again. Hours later, after I have woken up again and get fluids, my wife tells me that my awful mother got into a fight with my sister and I am the cause. Apparently, my mom saw that my hospital is a 20-minute drive from the beach and wants to make the five-hour drive to my hospital so she can pick up my wife and myself and we can go HORSEBACK RIDING ON THE BEACH.
She lost her composure and started screaming at my sister when my sister asked why the heck would want to go horseback riding after surgery. My sister didn't take being screamed at very well, and the fight ended up with my mom leaving my sister stranded at the restaurant they were at. Yes, this was in public, of course, where else would this travesty take place?
So my sister called someone to pick her up. The restaurant threatened to call the authorities on my mom after she had left since my sister was underage. But since someone else arrived quickly enough to pick her up, I guess they didn't want to deal with it. The next morning, the plot had thickened. My wife wakes up to multiple missed messages and calls, all from my sister.
She has left multiple voicemails screaming in fury that are undecipherable. My wife, fearing the worst, immediately calls my sister and inadvertently reawakens her fury. My mom’s side of the family, deciding that it was horribly unfair that I wouldn't want to go horseback riding on the beach right after I had surgery...decided to teach me a lesson.
They had moved Christmas up to the 20th so I would not be able to attend, considering I was lying in a hospital bed five hours away. To twist that spite a little deeper, my older cousin who is also horrible as well announced that he and his fiancée were getting married. On my birthday. To say my sister came unglued was an understatement.
She threw all the gifts she had gotten for them into the garbage in front of them and had stormed out, walking down the road and calling for someone to come pick her up because she didn't want to be around them. She did end up going to my cousin's wedding (forced into it by family) but she “accidentally” unbalanced the banquet table.
She also unknowingly started a fire in the process, when one of the catering heaters tipped too near the fancy lace tablecloth. So I count that as a win in my book.
46. A Long Time Coming
I got engaged. Woohoo! The wedding won’t be for a few years, and even then we might elope. My dad sucks. He mistreated me, and cheated on my mom for years before finally getting kicked out when he got caught. Our lives were substantially better without him around. But, it sucked because he basically put the family in huge debt and then got a well-paying job after the divorce was finalized.
He never sent any money beyond what was court-mandated to help put any of us kids through college. Just left us to struggle while he blew through money living his 50-year-old frat guy dream. I grinded my way through school on my own, got a job, and am now putting my life on hold to pay for my siblings to go to college. It’s whatever, but there’s a lot of drama between my parents.
My dad is fully equipped to help but won’t send a penny unless we play by his rules. Which we won’t. We spent too much of our childhoods being hurt to deal with him any longer. All this to say, of course he isn’t invited to the wedding. He’s always been obsessed with public image and will dramatically and tearfully apologize for his sins sometimes when he’s feeling sorry for himself.
I know he’s not truly remorseful for anything. But when the divorce happened, he begged and begged me to let him still walk me down the aisle one day. Even then I was like “Haha, absolutely not”. He only wants to because it’ll look bad to the family if he doesn’t. The other day, he rang to congratulate me on the engagement and asked me when to expect the invites.
I said never, he’s not invited. He began to rage and demand why. I had a slam-dunk response in my back pocket. I said “Well, I paid $20,000 for my siblings to go to school, and I know that weddings are usually about $100 a plate, so that’s 200 people I can’t afford to invite. I guess you just didn’t make the cut. If I could afford it, you’d probably be invited. Ciao”.
His side of the family is angry at me, but I don’t care since none of them are invited either. I hate them all so much, they truly are delusional.
47. How Dare You Have Boundaries
I’m a college student. When I get stressed/anxious, I get nasty acne breakouts. A couple of weeks ago my midterms began, and my acne started getting bad. My parents have me FaceTime them every week to check in. When they noticed my acne a couple of weeks ago, they made comments like, verbatim, "You look exponentially worse than you did last week"!
Also, "Your face looks awful"! It's made me feel pretty bad. Normally, I'm a very passive person. But recently, I've gotten more confident, and so tonight I decided to stand up for myself. By the way, I have a mental health condition that my parents are very concerned about. My condition is well-regulated, and I haven't experienced any significant flare-ups in over a year.
Regardless, if I get stressed or worried, or if I otherwise act out of character, my parents immediately assume my condition has worsened, and that my life is therefore in danger. Fast forward to tonight. I called my parents at the scheduled time and they said, “Hang on, let's switch this to a video call”.
I said, "I'd rather we keep it an audio call. In the past couple of weeks, you've made some comments about my complexion that I was uncomfortable with, and though I know you didn't mean anything harmful, it still hurt, and since my face is still broken out I'm not comfortable talking to you over video". The tone of the call changed completely—in a bad way.
"No, turn on the video. You don't have a choice". I stood my ground and just repeated, "I'd love to tell you about my week and hear what's been going on in your life, over the phone. I'm just not comfortable using video". My parents didn't take that for an answer. Since I rarely say "no" to them, their first thought was that I was mentally ill again.
They told me, "We need to see your face for safety reasons, because we need to make sure you're healthy". I replied, "I will tell you honestly that I'm doing fine. Aside from being stressed about midterms, which is a pretty normal response, I am healthy. And since you've told me you trust me, you should trust that I'm telling the truth and I'm doing fine".
They told me they refused to believe that, and accused me of hiding something from them. My mom asked me what on Earth they'd said that could have been hurtful, and that they didn't do anything of the sort. About 20 minutes in, I was not going to budge. I was not going to turn the call on video. Especially since they didn't respect my request, which I felt was simple and reasonable.
My parents were getting furious, and it began to get scary. They told me that if I didn't turn on video and show them my face, they were going to call 9-1-1 and my campus's security system, in addition to getting immediately into the car and driving the three hours to my school. When I told them I was disappointed they didn't trust me, they laughed and asked me what on Earth I was talking about, that I had no right to say that.
I had lost their trust, but I was irrational in thinking that I had the right to stop trusting them. I was called a spoiled brat, irrational. My parents asked me what they ever did so wrong to deserve this treatment. They told me how worried they were for my safety, and if I could just turn on video, they would be happy to know I was safe.
My mother told me that if I didn't turn on video, she would call the authorities, and they would take me into custody and I'd be spending the next six hours, at minimum, in the waiting office of a mental health facility. I was told that I was acting immature, and I wouldn't be allowed to attend the summer program I've been accepted to. They kept going, though.
My father told me I was shutting them out and told me that if I didn't want to lose all their trust and respect that I would have to turn on the video. I just kept saying, "I'm disappointed that you don't trust me enough to respect my decision. All I asked was to keep the call off video this week. And I understand and appreciate that you're concerned for me. This is me acting in my best interest".
Finally, after about an hour of going back and forth, I decided, the heck with it. I have work to get done. I don't have time for this argument. When I switched the call to video for them, my mother showed me that she had 9-1-1 into her cell phone, and she told me that she had been hovering over the "call" button for almost 20 minutes.
She showed me all the pamphlets and folders with emergency services and numbers, which she had been going through, and my father told me he had been just about to get in the car to head to my school. She started crying and talking about how worried she was, and she said, "Promise me you'll never act like this again. This was stupid".
I asked, "What do you mean by 'this?'" She said, "Digging your heels in, and being this irrational". I said I couldn't promise that, and I reiterated that I didn't feel I was being irrational; all I wanted was to call over phone and not use video this week, and I felt I had not been respected. Then my dad snapped. "Don't you EVER say anything about not video calling, ever again".
I'm feeling alright (and kind of good) after finally standing up to my parents for the first time in my life, but I'm still drained and definitely shaken. Part of me wants to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, and part of me wants to cry because I hate that this is the reality of my family. Where do I go from here? I do enjoy surface-level banter and chitchat with my parents.
I don't want to go completely no contact with them. However, I also know that this situation is going to repeat itself the next time I stand my ground against them, and I don't want to spend my time on people who don't respect me. They say it's a healthy practice to cut those people out of your life. What do you do when those people are your parents?
48. The Money Shot
We set up cameras over a year ago, as preparation for going no contact with my horrible parents, basically just my DNA donors. We had one for the front yard, one for the door, and one for the backyard. They haven’t been around our place since we put the cameras up, at least until recently. Still, because both my older sisters come over regularly, we assumed the word would spread.
We have two warning stickers (required by law, one at the gate and one at the front door) and two obvious cameras they'd pass when coming in through the front door. Apparently, though, my sisters never noticed. In about 25 visits combined, they didn't notice. Until last week, when one of my sisters suddenly pointed at the front door camera and asked why we installed cameras!
I asked her if she really never noticed before and said they had been up for a year. Burglary deterrent I told her, because we live in an older house and haven't remodeled yet, so the house isn't exactly difficult to break into. And then gave her a big smile. She said laughingly (but kind of serious) that she doesn't give permission to use images with her on it, and I laughingly said back that's not how it works.
Now all my sisters know, because the word did spread. But something felt weird to me. She pointed to the camera immediately, after not seeing it for a year. Like someone told her it was there. So I went through the footage to see who saw the camera first, and what a reaction I got. It was beautiful. My father noticed it the second time he came around.
He looked up at where the camera was while waiting for me to open the door, visibly tensed up completely and just turned and walked away! He even left my younger sister at my door alone for a few seconds! Then he must've heard me coming (or remembered his youngest daughter, you know), because he came speed walking back and had regained his composure by the time I got to the door.
When I had gotten my sister inside, he immediately speed walked off again, looking away from the camera (to hide his face? That's too late) and almost fell because he didn't look where he was walking. After that, he only came to our home once more, to pick up my sister the next week. He tried to ignore the camera, but looked incredibly shifty.
He couldn't help himself apparently because he threw the most amazing "sucking a lemon" face I've ever seen right at it. I must've looked at both clips 10 times, laughing like crazy. I think it was part relief that the cameras do work as a deterrent, part joy that he can't do anything about it, and part surprise at the comedic weirdness of it.
It almost looks like a silent slapstick movie. They still haven't noticed my warning stickers that we do have cameras, and they still haven't noticed the other cameras. If anyone here with a bad family is hesitating whether or not to install cameras, do it. It makes you feel so much safer. You’ve got evidence if they try to do anything wrong, and these clips alone were definitely worth the money.
49. A Controversial Bun In The Oven
My awful sister-in-law getting some well-deserved karma. She’s currently “42” weeks pregnant. Except she’s been hiding a huge secret. She’s not actually that far along. She’s been lying about her due date to not look like she got pregnant right after we told her we were pregnant. We told her we were pregnant when I was 12 weeks along and they were the last to know.
They had a pretty strange, kind of angry reaction to us telling them. They have no fertility problems and she said they were waiting 1-2 years to have kids because they had relationship issues to work out with a counselor before bringing kids into the mix. They got married quickly. She said she was using the fertility awareness method to prevent and has said before that I was unnecessarily hurting myself with birth control when I was one it.
This woman shamed me for using birth control, shamed me for having a hospital birth, shamed me for a C-section, sent me disturbing pregnancy-related videos while I was pregnant, plagiarized my Instagram posts, “claimed” baby names, sent out baby shower invites by text right after she found out I mailed mine, and has just been an overall jerk.
So now she’s in her 42nd week of being pregnant and still going ahead with her homebirth because she thinks hospitals are bad. Everyone has been bugging them constantly for the past two weeks and she’s worried she will need to be induced. All of this because she won’t admit that they conceived quite a long while after we announced!
So it’s a bit amusing seeing her deal with the consequences of her lies and get stressed and having people bug her about having the baby. I’m sure the narcissistic part of her likes the attention but also she’s squirming because she wants her birth plan to be perfect and Instagram-worthy but it doesn’t look like that will happen.
I really hope the baby and her are healthy and that she gets to go ahead with her ideal birth plan, but I’m enjoying her having to go through a waiting game after all the garbage she put me through. Oh, she also shamed me for not going to her baby shower when my baby was in the NICU.
50. Home Is Where The Drama Is
My boyfriend’s cousin Karen is an idiot, and her husband Todd and their kids aren’t much better. There had been a terrible fire in Karen and Todd's home and while they and their kids were unharmed, their possessions were destroyed. They did have insurance, but claimed that they couldn't afford a hotel room till things got sorted out. Normally, my boyfriend's parents would have allowed them to stay at their place, but they were out of town and wouldn't return until a couple of days later.
Plus, they knew better than to let this family have free rein over their house. My boyfriend's sister was likewise suddenly "unwell and unable to have guests in her home". I DO NOT blame her one bit. I would have done the same. So the responsibility to be there for family fell squarely on my boyfriend's shoulders. He agreed to let them stay in his guest bedroom until his parents got back.
I tried to talk him out of it but my man is kind and caring to a fault. It's what I love about him the most, but sometimes it's also the one thing I wish I could change about him. We lived to regret this act of kindness. Anyway, I had been out of town for a few days and he picked me up from the airport and we went straight to his place.
Karen and Todd acted happy to see me. Of course they did. What choice did they have? After a surprisingly quiet and peaceful dinner, we decided to go to bed. This is how the conversation that followed went. Him: Karen, we are going to bed. If your kids are going to watch TV, just make sure the volume is down. Karen: What do you mean “we”? You can't sleep in the same room. Not while my kids are here.
Him: What??? Karen: You can live a sinful lifestyle all you want, but I don't want my kids exposed to it. I don't want to have to explain to them why a man and a woman who are not husband and wife are sleeping in the same bed. It'll be a bad influence on them. Him: You're in my home Karen, you can't enforce your rules here. Just go to bed and keep your nose out of where it doesn't belong.
Todd: She's right you know, you really shouldn't be sleeping together if you're not married. But if you're gonna do that anyway, you should just go to her place. I was so proud of what he did next. Him: I have a better idea. Why don't you pack your stuff and get the heck out of MY apartment? Karen (wiping off invisible tears): How could you say that? We’re family. Why would you try to cruelly traumatize our kids with your sinful lifestyle?
Him (now raising his voice): I haven't started to get "cruel" yet. Just pack your things and go stay in a hotel room. Todd being the slightly more sensible one, knew that my boyfriend meant business and he somehow got his wife to go to the guest room. He then apologized to my boyfriend and spewed some kind of garbage about his wife being upset due to recent events (the fire) and that she didn't know what she was saying.
It was all just an excuse for her behavior. My boyfriend told him they could stay, but to remember that he wasn't going to be pushed around in his own home. Later on, as we were busy engaging in our “favorite” activity, my dramatic side had the urge to scream loud enough for the entitled family to hear me. But, as I didn't want to muddy the waters anymore, I decided against it.
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