Military Wives Are The Ultimate Karens
We’ve all heard of neighbor Karens, mall Karens, and mom Karens—but they’ve got nothing on these military wives. These Karens are their own special breed.
Some have an unearned sense of entitlement, while others have a treasure trove of dark secrets they hide from their spouses. Sit down, strap in, and prepare to get enraged at their ridiculous antics.
1. Crazy For Love
I worked as an employee with the Marines. Got a call that the spouse of one of the officers was in the hospital. The details sounded horrific.
Her place on base housing had gotten broken into, the nine-month pregnant spouse was beaten and taken by ambulance to the hospital. The assault caused a miscarriage. I was devastated and went to the hospital with several officers in the Marine’s chain of command. But I had no idea what I was in for.
One of the nurses tending to her looked me in the eye and said, “I am very interested in how this is going to play out”. I was so confused. The nine-month pregnant assault victim was given an ultrasound and blood work performed upon being admitted to the hospital. That’s when the truth came out.
She hadn’t been pregnant. She wasn’t assaulted. Her “due date” was the next day and she’s been faking the pregnancy the whole time. She beat herself up and made up the story resulting in miscarriage as a way to cover up the nine months of lying to her husband about being pregnant.
I’ve never seen this level of crazy until three months later when said Marine reunited with the crazy girl even after all that.
2. Not A Good Enough Reason
I once pulled over the same lady on three separate occasions for speeding in a school zone. I was trying to be nice the first two times and let her off the hook, but she started bawling the third time and I lost my patience.
She kept sobbing, saying her husband was deployed. I let her keep doing this for a couple of minutes while I was writing everything she said in my notes.
It felt like a Hot Fuzz moment. I finally asked how her husband being deployed was relevant to her speeding in a school zone and then she just stared at me. Like she couldn't believe I would question it. She got quiet afterward and I handed her the ticket and walked away without saying anything else.
3. Mine, All Mine
I'm not a service member but my brother was. He passed in 2011. At the funeral, it turned into an utter disaster. His wife screamed at my mother and told us all to sit in the back because she was more important. For eight years now she has run around various news outlets and government agencies demanding more free gold star wife stuff.
To date, she has been given two houses, six figures worth of stipends, and multiple televised recognitions. She knew my brother for a total of two years but they were barely together from the first date to his passing.
She acts like his family doesn't exist and she squashes any attempt by the rest of us to receive any sort of recognition.
She has alienated all of the other gold star wives in her support circle and constantly belittles other fallen servicepeople.
The last thing he said about her, about two weeks before he passed, was that when he returns to the states he's fixing his mistake and divorcing her for being "a real piece of trash”.
4. Not Sticking Around
I was a standing gate guard in Washington DC. An officer's wife drives through the gate and presents her ID. I wave her through. She doesn't move, asking me if I forgot something. I said no, I didn't believe I did. She said I forgot to salute her, pointing to the blue sticker on her windshield (which means I should salute to the officer).
I leaned close to her windshield and saluted the sticker, wishing it a good afternoon. I got removed from that duty.
