Karens Get Brutal Clapbacks
Retail and restaurant employees see the worst Karens of the world, and most of the time, they just have to put up with them. But every once in a while, they get the chance to clap back...and the results are utterly hilarious.
1. A Hair-Raising Tale
Way back in the day, when I worked in the food service industry, we once had a customer who got a salad and, when she was just about finished eating it, she intentionally placed one of her hairs in the bowl in order to try and get it refunded.
Instead, she got the complimentary “I’m sorry” free bakery item to make up for it. This happened several times, and eventually, it got to the point where she was doing this every single day.
Finally, the store manager sat down at her table and told her this was her last day eating in the cafe, and that they would refuse her refund today and refuse her service in the future. She started to say something about the customer always being right—but he already had a brutal reply ready for her. He just put up a hand to cut her off. He said “You cause us to lose money every day. You’re absolutely not our customer. You are a liability, and you are no longer welcome here.”
Unfortunately, this confrontation took embarrassingly long to get to. I worked in training support and the issue came to light during an associate-level customer service class.
They had been rolling with it for at least a few weeks, hoping she would just stop at some point on her own.
I’m not sure if the managers all knew what was going on, but I called their GM and DM after class and it was taken care of between the two of them by the end of that week.
2. Planning For The Future
This happened not to me, but to my manager. At the store where I work, this one woman comes in every Sunday, without exception. And also without exception, she complains every Sunday. It really doesn’t matter what’s going on in the store or what she’s looking for. She’ll always find something to whine about. So this past time, she said, “I won’t be coming back.”
And my manager goes, “Alright, I’ll see you next week!”
3. Is The Cup Half Empty, Or Half Full?
I was once a witness to a silent owning that I still get giddy just thinking of. A buddy of mine was serving a table and the kid at the table was around eight or maybe ten years old. He gives her an adult glass for her apple juice.
The dad pipes up and says he doesn’t want her to have all that sugar, so he needed to take it away and come back with a kid-sized one.
My friend replied that the glasses are all the same size, the adult size just looks bigger because they have thick bottoms. The dad responds that “the adult glass is clearly bigger and LIKE I SAID I don’t want her to have all that sugar.”
My buddy is a jerk. He gives a super deliberate exaggerated nod, says nothing, and marches to our little service alley behind the bar.
That’s when he put his plan into motion. A few moments later, he re-emerges with a kids’ cup, sets it down beside the glass, picks up the glass, and pours the adult glass into the new one, lifting it progressively higher and higher until the last drop drips down into the glass, perfectly fitting into the kid-sized cup. He then darts the heck off to the kitchen without even looking at the guy, like he didn’t even exist. I exploded with laughter.
4. Language Barrier
This was the funniest customer service retaliation I’ve ever seen in all my years working in retail. This lady was being unnecessarily rude to our gay cashier, and at one point she replied to something he said with: “Sorry, I don't speak gay.”
Without missing a beat, the cashier responded with: “Well, don’t worry, because I’m fluent in idiot.”
