Incredibly Satisfying Instant Karma
Life is unfair. At least, that's how it feels most of the time. But occasionally, we get a glimpse that maybe—just maybe—there's a higher power watching over us.
I haven't seen any miracles, but I've definitely seen jerks get absolute destroyed by instant karma, and for me? That's basically just as good.
1. Caught In A Speed Bump
I was in the passing lane on the highway, slowly coming up on a couple of cars in the right lane. The speed limit was about to decrease ahead, and another vehicle came up behind me, going pretty fast.
Instead of gassing it to get ahead of the traffic to my right, I slowed down and pulled into the right lane while the other car behind me was right on my tail.
Once I got into the right lane, the car floored it and passed me, honking their horn. The passenger's body was half out of the car window yelling at me and flipping me off as they passed. But they had no idea what hit them. It turned out that the car I pulled in behind was an unmarked state trooper who promptly pulled them over. Justice was served.
2. Just Rewards
Before we were married, I was out to dinner with my wife and her dad. At the end of dinner, my father-in-law offered to pay for the meal. My wife asked to get her leftovers boxed to take them home.
Her father was being difficult and started in on her, saying, “Well, you'll just leave them in the fridge, then they'll just get thrown out, blah blah."
I told him, "Listen, it's not your fridge. Leave her alone.” He got mad and yelled, "Don't tell me how to raise my daughter!" I yelled back at him not to speak to her in his nasty tone. As a result, he threw the bill at me and said, "FINE!
YOU PAY THEN," and stormed out. We were all mad at that point, and my wife said, “Why did you have to start something??"
I paid the bill and was waiting for the receipt, but we were waiting for quite some time. Tensions were rising. Her dad was waiting outside, building up steam. I asked the waiter, "Can I just get our bill and go?" They replied, "Oh no, sir, you have to wait for the manager.” That's when I learned the beautiful, satisfying truth.
It turned out they had a contest running where every bill was a winner or some prize or another. Usually, people would win a free drink or appetizer. However, we had just won the GRAND PRIZE that dinner—which was a trip for four to Florida.
And here's the kicker: Whoever pays gets the prize. Because her dad stormed out like a child, I had won it.
3. Target Practice
When I was six years old, I was on the bus with my older brother coming home from soccer practice. We were seated at the back, right next to the big rear window.
For some odd reason, I thought it would be funny to show the traffic behind us all the angles of my middle finger while staring at them with the most obnoxious facial expressions.
I would wait until the bus got to a stop and proceeded to do my thing when the bus shut its door and accelerated away. I was getting bored since most people would just ignore me and the reactions weren't as amusing as I thought they were going to be. I decided my game needed more thrill. Instead of flipping off oncoming traffic, my main target changed to pedestrians. This instantly turned into an enormous mistake.
The bus got to a stop, picked up the waiting people, and I had found my new target—a very buff man. As I heard the noise of the doors closing, I proceeded to show him both of my fingers and stuck out my tongue.
This guy, however, didn't think it was all that funny. He sprinted alongside the bus, matching its speed for at least a block until the bus arrived at the next stop.
The bus was not that full, but the people in it witnessed this big chunk of rage giving chase and getting on to the bus. I cowered behind my brother, who had been oblivious to my shenanigans. I was in tears.
The guy ended up being pretty cool about it and just told me not to do it again. He even gave me a piece of bubblegum afterward.
4. Big Rig Rumble
It was raining out. I was coming onto a freeway with my big rig, signaling and smoothly switching lanes while keeping an eye on a car behind me that had been crowding me.
As soon as he hit the merge ramp, he gunned it in an attempt to pass me, cutting into the no-drive zone. The problem was that my cab was 60 feet ahead of him, as I had already begun to merge.
Half of my rig was occupying the lane he wanted. Once this guy realized he couldn’t pass me, he flipped out. He screeched so hard back into his lane that I felt the road tremble. He began blaring his horn and flashing his lights.
I was just cruising along, totally calm. I was watching the traffic in my driver-side mirror, and when I saw a break, I knew what was coming.
This guy jerked into the left lane, floored it, and got beside my cab, honking the whole way. He swerved at me and then cut me off. He jerked into place in front of me, jammed his brakes—and then it all unraveled. He completely lost control of his vehicle. It was suddenly sideways at 45mph. I was nowhere near him, having already slowed down.
His car continued to spin until it was facing me, then it whipped back forward and headed straight into the ditch. It plowed the earth like a farm tool in front of all of us there on the freeway. I stopped. The left lane stopped.
We just watched as this guy slowly got out of his car, which looked pretty damaged. Other drivers got out to help, and some were on their phones. I just geared up out of there nice and calm. It was instant karma.
