Incredibly Petty Divorces
It’s well known that about half of all marriages end in divorce. As dim as this may seem, it’s true, and it can get very messy. After the honeymoon period, the marriage bells stop ringing and alarms start to blare.
And when the love runs out, everything becomes a problem. From tone-deaf requests to straight-up unbelievable spiteful acts, these are the true stories that show the horrors of divorce.
1. Home Sweet Home
This man wanted a divorce from his wife, and he had many good reasons—but what he cited as his “last straw” was absolutely ridiculous. It was all because his wife ate those pumpkin-shaped candy corn candies. All day while he was at work, he had been looking forward to them. But when he came home, he found out that she had eaten all of them. He just snapped. It was over.
2. Spread It Out
I represented one guy who was on his second marriage. He had lost his first wife to cancer. He and his kids were devastated. My client was a sensitive guy with a big heart.
His second wife was charming, which was why he fell for her, but it was all a facade. Then my client met a very affectionate woman during his case.
They really hit it off and were basically engaged even though his divorce was far from over. The fiancée started having health issues and was diagnosed with a form of terminal cancer. Then the ex-wife tried to use the diagnosis against my client in court—and what she said was seriously ridiculous. Her crazy theory was that he had caused his first wife’s cancer.
She accused him of doing the same thing to his new girlfriend. The second wife's attorney refused to be a part of her theory. The attorney never addressed her argument in court and didn't even mention it during testimony.
Rather, he informed the judge that his client wished to address the court directly about an issue.
The judge allowed it, and the second wife shared her wild theory adding that she was certain my client had tried to give her cancer as well.
I wish I had an artist's rendering of the scene capturing the second wife's crazy eyes, her attorney’s shame and embarrassment, the judge's confusion, and my awe-inspired disgust.
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3. Proceed With Prayer
My philosophy professor’s wife divorced him—and the reason why was deeply disturbing. He attempted to perform an exorcism on her. The Christian school didn’t take too well to that and terminated him. Except the exorcism wasn’t the last straw. The wife was actually having a year-long affair with a professor at a rival school across the street. But the exorcism probably didn’t help.
h2>4. At A Crossroads
My dad had a client who was a trucker and wanted to divorce his wife. The guy was in his late 40s and weighed 300 pounds.
The man said that he and his wife were in an open marriage, but she refused to have another partner even though this man has multiple partners. He also casually mentioned to my dad that he was bi too.
But he’d wanted to make it very clear that he preferred women but slept with men regularly. He didn't give a reason though. And when my straight-edge, old-fashioned dad asked, he told him a disturbing story about his last trucking run. He was alone at a truck stop on his birthday. So, his wife arranged for a man to meet with him.
In graphic detail, the guy further explained how the man bit him and it had hurt so much that he punched him.
Then he kicked him out of the truck and immediately called his wife to tell her that he wanted a divorce for hiring him someone who would do such a thing. My dad said he had to try so hard to stay professional.
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5. Clip, Clop, Drop
I work with court audio, and there was a case between parents fighting over custody for their young daughter. The mother currently had primary custody while daddy had supervised visits through a third-party service. He had to prove that she could be comfortable around him, so he had an idea. He brought a pony to visit.
So, every few weeks, he forked out $600 to bring a pony for his daughter to ride and ran around filming her joy. He used the videos to prove that he should become primary custody carer. Except it totally backfired on him. He was a jerk and wasn't very good at talking to her without calling her names, which he caught on camera.
