Most people think long and hard before deciding to tie the not. Well, these Redditors should have thought even longer. Years, months, days, or even hours later, they came to a horrific realization. They’d married the wrong person. Here are the moments they knew.
1. Hypothesis: They Won’t Make It
I tied the knot and we set out for our honeymoon in China. We were both pursuing our PhDs then. I was from a working-class background, while her folks belonged to the middle class. Consequently, she got a generous $10,000 from her dad as our honeymoon fund.
We traveled to China with the intention of celebrating, but she also aimed to gather some preliminary data for her dissertation during our month (or maybe two) trip. I was cool with it. But things quickly turned sour. I found myself holed up in small hostels, all alone, as she immersed herself in research work.
My Mandarin vocabulary was very limited, and as a penniless grad student, I was neither equipped to navigate my way back home nor afford a flight ticket. Plus, I had no family back home who could help, even if somehow I found my way out of China. I felt cornered.
I discussed this with her, about how our journey seemed more like a field trip than a loving honeymoon, how I felt abandoned and lonesome most of the time. We had a single laptop that we were sharing throughout the journey (I was too strapped for cash to own one, despite being in grad school).
One morning, as I flipped open the laptop before she moved out to explore a research site, I found her email account open. An unfinished email was right there on the screen, and its content ripped my heart apart. It was addressed to her dad, revealing her wish that I wasn't accompanying her on our honeymoon.
I had been promised a honeymoon which was supposed to have a minor research sideline. But what I was living seemed more like a research expedition where I felt like a dead weight. She did apologize. We managed to stick together for a few more years when she fell sick and I assumed the role of her caregiver.
Looking back, I wish I had packed my bags and left China the day I read that email.
2. I Scream For Ice Cream
At the marriage celebration, she blew a ton of cash on things we didn't need, and I was aware it was me who'd ultimately foot the bill because of the credit card debt she racked up. So, I put my foot down.
She insisted on getting an ice cream supplier (we already had two dessert stations), but I was firm that it was excessive.
Despite our argument, she eventually saw my point of view. Yet, as the wedding day rolled around, I found myself standing with my groomsmen, and suddenly, to my dismay, an ice cream van rolled up. I realized instantly, regretfully.
3. Get Over It
A lady I once dated revealed that she ended her marriage because her husband was battling with depression after his dad passed away in his arms. She couldn't handle being around someone so sad.
Just think about it—losing your dad and then, merely a few months later, you lose your wife too simply because you're still mourning.
4. Life’s Not A Beach
Almost as soon as we tied the knot, our bond started to come apart at the seams. We began to drift apart right after we started living together, but the situation sadly escalated during our honeymoon in Greece. He threw an epic tantrum at me in public.
I had expressed my desire to visit a reputedly beautiful beach on the island, so we attempted to catch a bus. But when the bus didn't show up, he let loose at me, blaming me for ruining his holiday and expressing his disdain for traveling with me.
Following the bus incident, we strolled down to a nearby beach where he went swimming with a couple of friends he'd insisted on bringing along. I was left shell-shocked and dejected on a beach chair, reduced to tears.
5. Run Away From This One
She brought me into a serious conversation one day, and, without any hint of a joke, she told me, “I’ve really mulled it over, and you need to stop working out”. At that time, I was running several miles daily, often taking our kids along in their jogging stroller.
Her reasoning was, “You're a dad now and it's eating too much of your time”. That's the moment I realized I've messed up. Discovering her with another man in my car on top of that didn't exactly bolster the argument to keep our marriage intact.
6. Dishing It Out
We were almost hitched but hadn't quite tied the knot. I'd been ordered to stay in bed to rest and take care of our baby boy, following an urgent operation to stop severe bleeding due to a miscarriage. One day, my then-fiance came back from his job, stared at me and questioned, "Why aren't the dishes done?"
The following morning, I rang my mom and informed her that I was going to make an exit. Two weeks later, I packed my bags and booked it out of there.
7. Mommie Dearest
The saying "death by a thousand cuts" perfectly encapsulates my situation. A standout instance was when I realized after a decade together that she had no trust in me. It came to me like a flash of lightning, and I asked her point-blank, "You don't trust me, do you?"
Before she could pipe up, I continued, "I bet you don't trust anyone". She didn't deny it. It was common for her to abruptly send the kids, devoid of even a towel, out of the bathroom all because they had splashed her during bath time.
But it didn't end there, she would vociferously admonish them, berating them for their behavior. They were just toddlers aged between 2-4 then. It was unreasonable to rebuke a toddler for splashing water during a bath. In another instance, the reason for which escapes my memory, I stepped in trying to mediate the situation.
I told our daughter, who'd evidently done something 'wrong', to apologize to her mom. So she did. But when it was time for mom to reciprocate, she flatly refused to apologize. This left me staggered. This woman who stars in my life and is a mother, adamantly saying no to an apology, it struck deep.
To date, after more than two decades of knowing her, I have yet to hear her apologize. An ordeal that truly put me over the edge occurred when one of our kids simply wanted a goodnight hug before sleep. Instead of welcoming the sentiment, she chose to lock herself in our bedroom, refusing to return the hug on the pretext that she had hugged them earlier that day.
Our kids, unable to comprehend, were left in tears. I was shattered witnessing this heartbreak. Their innocent question of why mom refused a hug was devastating. I try hard not to let it affect me, especially now when we share custody and their interplay with their mother is under my constant watch. It’s a struggle.
The only silver lining, however, is that as the kids are growing older, they're gradually starting to piece it all together.
8. For Better Or For Worse
During our wedding day, we tied the knot at her folks' home, a gorgeous venue nestled in a private country club. Throughout the day, the spotlight shone on her, with her spending more time frolicking with her friend and sipping cocktails than being by my side.
My day was spent delighting our guests with chitchat. When the last guest had bid farewell and it was just her parents and I, I made a chilling discovery—she was unconscious in a room upstairs. Gathering her in my arms, I carried her to our car to go home.
It goes without saying, our wedding night was marked by her sleeping off the inebriation. Fast forward to five years later, she admitted herself into a residential rehab program. On her recovery and subsequent release, she came clean about not having feelings for me anymore and expressed her desire for a divorce.
9. See You Later
There was a terrible time when I suffered a miscarriage with twins, and he simply drove me to the hospital for the required surgery. I was still bleeding as he left me there to attend a social gathering with his buddies.
But that's all in the past now, I've walked away from that man long ago. These days, I'm in a much better place.
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10. A Pregnant Pause
My brother recently experienced a divorce, and curiosity led me to ask him about his "turning point". He chuckled at first, but his next words took me by surprise.
He said, "It was when she announced she was expecting and just a week afterwards, the doctors informed me that I'm actually infertile and unable to father children." That was a tough pill to swallow.
11. Good News Is Bad News
I came to understand that I was shielding positive updates from her, aware that she'd make me feel guilty about them. I held on to the hope that she'd mature and put an end to her self-centered, immature ways. But, she never really did.
12. You’re On Your Own
She was preparing to head out to the bar when I rang her up, telling her that I was stranded about seven miles away because our car broke down. But here's the frustrating part—despite us having a second car, she said she couldn't assist me. Unfortunately, our relationship ended about two months after this incident.
13. In Sickness And In Health
We were in a long-term relationship, not married though. Then, I was diagnosed with cancer, leading her to emotionally withdraw. She left a few months after that.
When achieving my one-year cancer-free milestone, it hit me that I'd been alone for most of the journey. She didn't want any part of it, and I had the epiphany that our relationship failure wasn't solely my fault.
Now, I'm preparing for three-year follow-up tests this weekend, including blood tests and scans. My new girlfriend is not only driving me there, but also has plans for lunch afterwards. It truly feels like an improvement.
14. Don’t Do Me Like That
She was secretly seeing an old high-school sweetheart for a whole year, all the while living off my sole income at home. I knew things between us weren't going well. I was doing my best to fix things and we'd even discussed it, but she conveniently forgot to mention this detail to me.
I don't hold anger because she didn't love me. But I wish she had just been straightforward and told me. There was no need to treat me so poorly after thirteen years together.
15. Kissing And Telling
Half a year past our nuptials, I discovered a disturbing secret through text messages. My husband was having an emotional affair—or so he claimed; my hunch tells me there could be more to it. The most distressing part, however, was not this revelation. What pained me more was learning that he'd shared my heartfelt texts with his other woman.
These messages, sent in desperation, pleaded for him to open up, to shed light on the issues we were facing. Their reply was to mock my despairing attempts to mend our relationship. His mistress even commented, "Poor thing! She's clueless about the whole affair yet keeps begging for your attention and love."
Reading those demeaning words was a wake-up call about the grave error I'd made.
16. Home Wrecker
After my trip to the hospital, where I was diagnosed with a serious lung condition, she left me alone with the kids so she could go have some drinks with her pals. Her words made my blood boil: "I need you to feed the kids, I'm falling behind schedule and need to catch up with everyone".
Safe to say I knew I married the wrong person after that.
17. Cruelty Of The Highest Degree
Around 18 months after we tied the knot, my wife landed an internship at Disney. This required her to move across the country and live separately for about seven months. Halfway through her internship, she confessed to having feelings for someone new.
For the next six months, she kept me hanging on a thread—not wanting a divorce yet uncertain about us. Then came the gut-wrenching revelation. Her real motive was for me to keep covering all the bills while she pursued her degree.
As she was nearing her graduation—just a month left—she laid bare an even harsher truth. She never truly wanted to be with me. She initiated our romance to arouse jealousy in her ex, had been unfaithful for almost all of the decade we were together, and stuck around solely because her ex did not want her back and she did not want to fend for herself.
She declared that her most recent affair—a man she called 'the love of her life' after just three weeks—resulted in a baby less than a year after our divorce. However, their relationship broke down within two years.
18. Out On A Technicality
There were a bunch of warning signs before this, but this was the turning point. We were together for four years, with our wedding planned in just eight months' time. I had noticed his constant activity on a certain "Brittney's" MySpace page. Nothing outrageous, just subtle.
Soon after, he put a passcode on his phone, but I couldn't help but notice frequent alerts from a contact named Brittney. I had had my suspicions, but lacked solid evidence. Back then, I was working evening and night shifts.
One night, while coming home earlier than usual, I was met with nasty surprise. I found him in our bed with BRITTNEY. Upon being caught, THE FIRST THING HE TELLS ME IS..."I PROMISE, BABE, WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING".
Brittney later contacted me on MySpace and we met. She confessed she didn't know about me at all. We still maintain a friendship. Brittney allowed me to read through all their exchanges on MySpace and text messages. She honestly admitted she didn't know he was already taken.
Frankly, Brittney wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, but he had masterminded this whole deception. My belongings were shoved in a closet, our pictures taken off the walls. I don't use makeup and didn’t own many belongings at the time.
We weren't exactly swimming in money and I was the only one with a job. He had a knack for getting fired, usually on account of harassment. I wish I had recognized this as a red flag, but I wasn’t aware of the reason for his terminations. He would keep the house dim-lit while they watched movies, before making their way to the bed, claiming it was "romantic".
There were numerous warning signs I missed. First of all, the way we got together. We were colleagues in a retail store, and he showered me with attention, if not slightly offensive remarks. I overlooked the fact that he behaved similarly with other female colleagues.
I was only 18 when we met, naive, unaccustomed to male attention, and had low self-esteem. The four years we spent together were not pleasant, to say the least. I was unhappy to the point where I even had myself hospitalized once. Suffering the misconception that he was the best I could get resulted in a miserable four years.
After all that, I showed him and his "promises" the door.
19. An Addict’s An Addict
I came to the realization that my wife was so engrossed in playing Final Fantasy that she completely neglected our relationship. She used to be addicted to playing World of Warcraft to the point where we broke up over it. After quitting the game and getting a job, the relationship got back on track.
Soon after we tied the knot, she returned to her gaming habits, but this time, it was Final Fantasy. The time we should have been spending as a couple usually ended up with her indulging in gaming and drinking.
My wife loved her drinks; unfortunately, she is no more. The gut-wrenching revelation of why she passed away still haunts me. Her iPad showed that she had a series of flings in her game throughout our 12-year relationship. On the night she passed away, she was overjoyed due to an in-game marriage to her current boyfriend.
In her merriment, she drank excessively leading to her tragic death. When I reached out to one of her gaming companions to understand what happened, I discovered, she never mentioned me to any of them. She was rather quite flirtatious with several gamers.
Her in-game husband was actually a married man in real life. Living in the US, she found a distinct interest in European gamers, specifically from Italy. The night she passed away, I was in Germany for work. My wife was furious that she couldn’t join me, but it wasn’t a vacation; it was a business trip.
After looking back, I think what she truly desired was an opportunity to have a rendezvous with her Italian boyfriend while I was busy working. With a language-learning app installed on her phone to teach her Italian, and Italian recipes popping up in her browser history, it was evident she was planning to meet him.
Given the fact that she never cooked, she must have intended to meet him in person. I was already dealing with the grief of losing my wife, but uncovering her secret affairs only added to the anger bubbling within me. If she were still alive, I would undoubtedly be filing for divorce right now.
20. He Earned This Divorce
About a quarter of the way through our 19-year marriage, I began to feel that maybe we were on the wrong track. The straw that broke the camel's back, however, was this—my ex insisted that our kids hadn't "DESERVED" his love because they hadn't done anything to win it. This utterly rattled me to the core.
The words quite literally took my breath away and it took me a couple of days to regain my composure. Then, I began asking myself, had I done anything to "EARN" his love? Such a thought shouldn't cross anyone's mind... Love isn't a prize to be won but rather a gift to be freely given, especially to your children. After this relevation, I felt compelled to ask for a separation and subsequently a divorce.
21. Over And Done With
My aunt, who I adored, passed away at the age of 54. Her death broke my heart, and my husband was well aware of this.
However, as soon as we returned home, his response was, "Well, that's over. Time to move forward." The fact that he said this so nonchalantly, just as he was about to start his videogame, left me speechless. That night, I went to bed alone, battling a deep sense of isolation. But that wasn't all.
Just two days later, he forgot my birthday. We've gone our separate ways since then, and have been divorced for the past seven years.
22. What Have You Done For Me Lately?
I catered to her every need, serving her tea nightly. I made sure our home was secure and even dashed to the store for her late-night cravings. But when I was down with the flu and asked her to bring me a Gatorade, she was taken aback and bluntly refused.
That's when it hit me—she had never offered a compliment, given me moral support, provided comfort, or shown any emotional concern towards me.
It became clear then that she likely never would. Instead, she always grumbled that I didn't do enough. It took some time to accept that I was in a toxic relationship. Despite the realization, I tried to salvage our bond. Ironically, it was her who pushed me away, all with the desire to start anew in Portland.
23. Not Kidding Around
After experiencing infidelity a second time, I came to the conclusion that he didn't value my feelings or our relationship very much. I put up with it for our child's sake, tucking away the pain. But everything changed when I realized he was neglecting our son while I worked.
Despite being unemployed for several months, he squandered his time. The turning point was when my child asked me, "Mom, can I go to work with you all the time? Dad just sleeps and sometimes I can't get to the food because it's too high”.
We discussed his lack of attention toward our child, but he continually shrugged it off. Agitated, I decided to catch him out. What I uncovered was infuriating. I woke him up one day, told him I was off to work and he needed to look after our son. I left for work at 2:30 pm almost every day like clockwork.
But in reality, I took our son with me to work. I didn't receive any updates from him until I finally texted at 8 pm, asking about our son's condition. To that, he replied nonchalantly, "He's good, just playing video games in his room". It was a delightful moment when I revealed our child had been with me the entire time. What a revelation!
24. Don’t Bring Me Down
We were busy freshening up and getting dolled up for a friend's wedding. During that period, I had achieved my best physical form, and I felt fantastic about it. Complimenting my physique in my swimwear was a breeze.
She was in the final stages of her makeup routine, and I couldn't help but express how stunning she looked. I anxiously awaited a reciprocal sweet remark, but none came. In that moment, it dawned on me that I had no memory of her ever complimenting my looks.
Unable to hold it in, I brought this up to her, "You know, I always shower you with praises about your beauty and express my attraction, but I can't seem to recall you ever mentioning that I look appealing or handsome." Her response made my stomach drop...all I received was an eye roll as she momentarily ceased applying her mascara.
Against my better judgment, I asked her, "Do you even find me attractive?"
Her response was a straight-faced, "No."
Confused, I questioned, "Why did you agree to marry me then?"
Her response stung even more. "I didn't consider it crucial at the time."
Never had I felt so unattractive and uncared for. What's worse is that just a mere 30 seconds before, I had been feeling wonderful about myself for the first time in my life.
25. Go On, Give Me Nothing
For nearly a decade, I was oblivious to his true feelings towards me. I was the one who proposed, not him. Our family learned about our wedding from the internet, he kept it hidden. Swap energy and shared emotions for a blank wall—that's the hand he always dealt me.
I woke up to the fact that I hardly had a clue about his opinions of me, beyond my physical appearance. Did he find me fun, intriguing or intelligent? It was just me pouring out my thoughts, passions, and laughs into a void, without any reciprocation.
Then, the truth hit me. This has been the constant pattern. I felt overlooked, my voice unheard. I started to believe I was dull, without any appeal. I yearned to feel valued. I craved a real emotional bond—something deeper, a meeting of our souls. But it seemed beyond his abilities.
26. Too Good To Be True
During my first marriage, I started to suspect that I might have chosen the wrong life partner. Despite my full-time, well-paying job, my wife opted to leave her job and just stay home. Despite having a housekeeper who would visit once a week to thoroughly clean the house and wash our dishes and laundry, our home remained in disarray six out of seven days.
Contrastingly, with my second wife, I discovered repeatedly that I had chosen the absolute perfect partner for me.
27. All Business No Pleasure
I scheduled a corporate-style meeting to talk about the future changes we'll face as our teens head off to university. I promised him the discussion would be positive, highlighting the need for open conversation. With our busy lives, finding time to chat has always been a tough row to hoe. So, adopting a business-style approach seemed like the best bet, given that work has always topped his list. Unfortunately, it didn't pan out as I'd hoped.
Before I could even get a word in, he unleashed his pent-up frustrations regarding my shifting hobby interests. Funny thing is, these "shifting" hobbies have remained steadfastly the same for the past eight years—guitar and oil painting. That day, I just mentally tuned out.
28. Hoping For The Worst
We had just left my parents' home with our daughter. We had been staying there for half a year because we were financially struggling. I was the only breadwinner, while he stayed home citing a back injury, which, as it turned out, was a sham.
Living together under those circumstances was a constant battle, but somehow, I had this naive hope that things would improve once we had a place of our own. I couldn't have been more mistaken. The arguments escalated; the shouting and swearing grew more intense.
His manipulative nature became more pronounced and unbearable. Even simple things like taking a shower became a big deal. If I dared to take one without his consent, he wouldn't hesitate to pound on the bathroom door screaming at me. I can't peg down the exact moment, but within that first month, I had a hard realization— things were never going to get better.
I knew he had some attractive colleagues, and bizarrely, I found myself wishing that he'd strike up an affair with one of them. Maybe then he would leave me or give me the courage to leave him. Strangely, I still felt a sense of pity for him because of his supposed back problem.
Yet, I remained with him for another year and a half. During this time, he made us relocate further away from my family as he feared they were getting wind of his phony injury. He finally ended our marriage two months after the move when I ran out of money for the first time in our relationship.
29. Rotten On The Inside
He organized a surprise birthday party for me, and towards the final leg I found myself alone indoors near the buffet, while everyone else had moved outside. Seeing him pass by, I softly beckoned him over, hoping for a private moment.
But he just shrugged, rolling his eyes as he continued on his path, stating that he was planning to hang out with a certain person. It seemed like anyone, even a random person walking down the street, held greater importance to him than I did. He didn't truly care about me; he was more concerned about his image in front of others.
30. Sorry, Not Sorry
We weren't hitched, but we had been together for quite a while. One time, she heard a doorbell ring and requested that I check it out. I didn't hear it and there was nobody there when I opened the door. She then apologized, saying it must've been the TV she heard.
Having been with her for over two years, I was struck by the fact that was her first-ever apology. It shed light on why our relationship was on the rocks. Not long after that realization, I ended things with her.
31. Say Goodbye To Puppy Love
After a long, tiring day at work, I came home to a shocking sight—scorch marks scattered across the carpet and linoleum. The story behind the scene was revolting. My husband at the time, had spent the whole day engrossed in his computer games.
During his gaming spree, he carelessly neglected our young pup who had managed to find and chew on a phone battery, sparking a small fire.
Luckily, our puppy wasn't harmed. But, this event—coupled with the recent discovery that he had been deceiving me about attending community college for almost a year—served as the final straw. It was at this juncture that my affections for him began to wane.
32. It’s The Little Things
Lucky for me, we weren't married, but we shared a home. I can still remember when I had the last straw—it was when he labeled me as incompetent just because it took me less than 15 seconds to switch off subtitles on Netflix. It was at that moment I acknowledged the fear and torment I'd been enduring for years.
Meanwhile, the reasons for his mean behavior and derogatory comments were getting pettier by the day. I was already on edge, and couldn't handle any additional stress.
33. Here’s To You
At our wedding, he made his speech but he forgot to mention me. He expressed his gratitude to everyone, spoke admirably about the bridesmaids, and fondly about our girls. It was as if I was invisible.
During our first honeymoon night, I fell terribly ill. Instead of staying by my side, he left me alone in our room to watch a show on a big outdoor screen by the beach. So much for the vow 'in sickness and in health'!
34. Me First
The moment I realized I had married the wrong person was surprisingly trivial. Reflecting, I now see our entire relationship was unhealthy. However, it was a particular incidence that brought it all into view.
For some background, I was battling heavy depression and had consequently put on a significant amount of weight. My husband knew this was a sensitive area for me. We have birthdays on consecutive days—his before mine.
I had always felt overlooked whenever our birthdays approached. We would celebrate his birthday in a grand manner, and my birthday would often be an afterthought, with a party after midnight that included a partially eaten cake and dimmed candles. If there was no party, I would simply receive an unwrapped gift on my birthday while his birthday would always be packed full of activities. Despite this, I would always make an effort for his special day without fail.
Understanding my feelings, we decided one year to plan a trip to a historical city in our county. We are both history enthusiasts, so the location was perfect for us. The initial few days were spent exploring and deciding what we would do on our respective birthdays.
The city had a lot to offer and I pointed out specific attractions that I would like for my "surprise" birthday treat, main among them a visit to the local church and a Richard III exhibition, both conveniently close to our hotel.
We had a fantastic time on his birthday. We visited all his favorite spots, dined at his preferred restaurant, and I had even managed to carry along his gifts so he could open them on his day.
And for a grand surprise, a ghost tour of the city on an antique hearse bus, which he truly enjoyed. I was hopeful my birthday would be as enjoyable. I was mistaken.
My birthday started on a sour note. He was grumpy and unenthusiastic about the places I had chosen. I just wanted a bit of leisurely morning in bed since I hadn't slept well, but he was impatient about going for breakfast.
When I told him I wasn't hungry and wanted to stay in the room a bit longer, he abruptly pushed me out of bed. I was adamant about not rushing on my birthday. Yes, I was being a tad stubborn but wanted some control over my own day.
Next, he yanked me up by my arm and called me a "fat lazy lump”. The look on his face clearly indicated he knew how much his words would hurt me. And on my birthday, it felt even more heartbreaking. This led to an argument, and we ended up going to the places he wanted instead of my picks.
We stayed in the city for a week, yet never visited the church or the exhibition. He later confessed he had no interest in them. To my shock, he also admitted he had intentionally stirred up the argument to avoid doing what I had planned.
That's when I realized my happiness and desires were never his priority. Regrettably, it took me over a year after this incident to finally part ways.
35. Friends With No Benefits
For sure, this answer comes with a twist. My wife and I, we're soulmates and best friends through and through. There isn't anyone else who I can be completely open and true with, she's the perfectly matched mental companion for me. In that way, we're the perfect fit for each other.
When it comes to the bedroom, however, things aren't quite as aligned. Did I marry my best friend? Undeniably so. But, was it the wrong choice? That's hard to say.
36. Shoot The Messenger
I found a mysterious email on her computer—and it shook me to my core. he told a mutual friend that she was planning to end our marriage soon and she had intentions to be intimate with him.
37. Man Child Alert
We had been together for quite a number of years, with our marriage progressively deteriorating. He had this peculiar habit of eating only from those compartmentalized plastic plates. His justification was absurd; he claimed it brought back fond memories of his childhood family meals. Go figure!
One day, he found these plates in the cupboard and completely lost his cool because I didn’t nest them together. I arranged them at different angles to make sure they air-dried properly and there would be no moisture trapped between the plates.
His response was to scold me in a really patronizing way about how these plates were designed to be stacked inside one another. The realization had been growing for a while that he wasn't the one I wanted to spend my life with, but in that instant, I could only look at him with loathing. I’m proud to report I've left that troubled marriage behind, and am now happily engaged to my college best friend.
38. What A Pill
When I started using the pain relief pills that the hospital provided me when I was discharged. Those were for dealing with pain, you know. Realizing that the individual who should be deeply concerned about your well-being could see you in distress without feeling any remorse for being the trigger...well, it's not pleasant at all.
39. The Long Goodbye
I was in a relationship, but we weren't yet married. The relationship spanned three years and crossed international borders. I was prepared to face the complicated US immigration system for us. After what was a typical month-long visit—something we'd been doing for years—she had to go back.
We shared an affectionate goodbye at the airport, and she told me she was eager to return... But the moment she landed back in Europe, I heard nothing from her. Completely zero contact. After three agonizing silent days, she finally called to say it was over. The breakup call came on December 21, 2019.
I remember driving to work that morning with an ominous feeling that something terrible was about to unfold. I can't seem to shake off that gut-wrenching memory. I'm still grappling with the heartbreak, with no intentions of getting over it anytime soon.
40. Do It Yourself
When our little one was just three months old, I suffered from a severe bout of mastitis. It left me feeling so feeble that I wasn't even able to lift our infant. All I wanted was for him to take a day off work and help out.
His reaction, though, still sends chills down my spine. Instead of lending a hand, he told me to ring my mother and then promptly headed off to work.
I gritted my teeth and weathered this storm, and various others like it, for four long years. However, the breaking point arrived and I finally gathered enough courage to break free. The moment I proposed a divorce, it felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from my weary shoulders.
41. The Young And The Restless
When I discovered he was frequently texting and calling one of his students—who was just 18 years old while he was around 33—I was disturbed. But what was worse is he manipulated me into thinking it was okay. This was even when he would meet her alone in a field at 1 in the night, or when he'd stay out until 3 a.m. under the guise of giving her 'support'.
I knew deep down that it was wrong, but my embarrassment and my attempts to save our marriage made me feel too weak to take action. Our divorce was finalized in 2019, and he's presently living with her. I wholeheartedly believe that he should not be allowed to work with children ever again.
42. Out With The Old
When he neglected my severe illness to play poker with his pals. When he accused me of infidelity while I was burning the midnight oil to complete my studies. When he questioned if our child was truly HIS.
When he refrained from praising me, arguing it would inflate my ego. When he trusted any person's opinion over mine...and I mean, any person. When his attempts to strike a flirtatious conversation were at the expense of my self-esteem.
When I had to conceal the most trivial matters to maintain harmony at home. When my trusted advisor told me he was envious of my achievements instead of being supportive.
Goodbye and good riddance!
43. Too Much Too Soon
Roughly two years after we got married, when I was around the age of 29, a realization struck me. My partner and I, after eight years as a couple, were bickering incessantly. Up until that point, I hadn't given any serious thought to whether we were truly a good fit for each other.
I'd never had an easy time with relationships, but something just worked between us. And in the span of three to four years, we went from dating to cohabitating to getting engaged.
Next came the whirlwind of wedding preparation, and before I knew it, it felt like we were on a fast-moving conveyor belt, headed from one life event to the next. I never really stopped to question: "Is this what I really want?"
Then, one particular night as we lay in bed, my spouse was feeling unwell. I've always been a very gentle and caring individual, sometimes to a fault.
As I looked at her sleeping, this thought blurted out in my mind: "I don't love you". This was truly horrifying, and somewhat humiliating, considering we'd just celebrated a grand wedding with more than 150 guests just two summers prior.
44. Daddy Issues
When he was too engrossed in his video game to make sure our darling infant—only a few months old—didn't roll off the bed. Not to mention, when I brought home a cute outfit for our baby and he got envious because I didn't buy him something too.
This guy's story doesn't end there, though. He chose to walk out once our little one celebrated their first birthday. Thankfully, we ended up getting divorced. Our kid, who's now all grown up and 18, unfortunately doesn't have a relationship with him. No shocker there.
45. Seeing The Light
We'd been engaged for roughly a year, after being a couple for approximately a decade. However, I came to the realization that I wasn't truly in love with her; I had just invested so much of myself into our relationship and didn't wish to upset her. I foresaw divorce waiting in our future, so I decided to call it quits before that happened.
In therapy, I had an eye-opening moment: I'd spent my entire childhood aiming to please my parents and my entire adulthood trying to keep her happy. This cycle left me in a state of miserable, unrecognized until then.
46. Second-hand Embarrassment
It became clear to me when, each time we were out and about or in a social setting, I constantly felt awkward about his actions or words, or ended up saying sorry for him. He had a way of speaking or acting just to cause surprise, while purposely stirring up conflict.
That kind of shook me into realizing, even though I could ignore other problems between us, I was going to live a life feeling mortified by him. We got hitched when we were still kids and evolved into distinct individuals as we grew older.
47. The Heart Wants What It Wants
It all came into focus after the fifth man she'd been with during our seven-year marriage. At least five that I was aware of, that is. Every time, I blamed myself, thinking that if only I could be a better husband – more considerate, more supportive, or simply more attuned to her needs...
If I could just be that perfect partner, she'd love me and everything would be okay. We'd be able to weather any storm. But then the realization hit me like a ton of bricks—she just didn't love me. No matter how terrific a husband I tried to be, I was never going to be the one for her.
So, I made the tough call. I told her I wanted a divorce and explained why. She didn't shed a tear. Within a week, I packed my things, left our home, and filed for divorce. I rented an apartment and began to move forward. But things did actually turn out far better than I ever expected. I met a wonderful woman who genuinely loves me, and we're building a happy, thriving life together.
We've shared these joy-filled years for 15 years now. I just couldn't be happier.
48. Look What I Can Do, Mommy
When my toddler was two, he rose early one morning, tiptoed downstairs to surprise his mom and me. He'd seen me cook pancakes before. Inspired, he wanted to do the same as a sweet gesture. But keep in mind, he's just a two-year-old, so obviously, he turned everything upside down.
Flour was scattered all over, and eggs shattered on the floor. It was as if a mini tornado named himself had struck the kitchen. But when his mom and I finally made it downstairs, he looked at us proudly, beaming, convinced he'd created the best surprise. It was such a tender moment disturbed, when my wife couldn't contain herself and shouted at him for the chaos.
While I found his innocence adorable, she saw him as a tiny rogue. She was so fixated on the mess that she overlooked his pure-hearted intent. After all, clearing up a mess isn't that hard. There's only a small window of time when your kid tries to make you breakfast in bed before they grow up.
49. Liar, Liar
It was a whirlwind of warning signs. He'd make demeaning remarks, saying I was far from a beauty queen and made him look bad because, in spite of my advanced education and deep intellect, I was exceptionally bashful. As a result, to outsiders, I appeared haughty and condescending.
Let's expose the truth: only he and possibly his mates shared this point of view. He was also irresponsible, splurging on toys for himself from the money we had set aside to renovate our newly-bought home — crucial work like replacing a 25-year-old gross carpet.
The turning point was when we decided to have children. He assured me he was totally committed, but when conception didn't happen, we both sought medical advice. The tests showed he had a borderline low testosterone level and some other minor issues that could be easily fixed with an over-the-counter daily medication with no side effects.
Despite undergoing a series of increasingly painful and invasive tests and procedures, I held onto his promise of full commitment. But it was all in vain. He had been scheming behind my back the whole time, purposely skipping his daily medication and taking measures to ensure our failure in starting a family.
In the end, it was a classic case of deceiving one's faith.
50. X This Ex
Just a day following the wedding, the facade fell away. The woman I had married with such joy revealed herself as an abrasive narcissist, as if simply shedding a disguise.
We had a young daughter and for her sake, I tried to weather the storm for two years, attempting to mend the relationship. But the uncomfortable truth about narcissists is that they never see themselves as at fault, so everything, inexplicably, became my mistake. Eventually, I was so worn down that I simply couldn't muster the strength to leave.
Whether I made an error, or succeeded in something, criticism was the only response. It led to a state of just going through the motions, performing tasks without enthusiasm, as this seemed to delay the amount of time it took for her to launch into another angry spell.
I began to believe that I was truly insignificant and weak in every possible way. But then, she crossed a line. She began using our daughter to manipulate me, frightening the little girl in the process.
While I couldn't rescue myself—barely a trace of the person I once was remained, I found the strength to save my daughter, an inner power from an unknown source. Now, a decade later, I'm the custodian of a cheerful daughter who no longer wakes up from nightmares, screaming, "No mommy! No!"
Here's a piece of advice for life, avoid getting an ex-wife. They can be rather unpleasant.
Sources: Reddit,
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