It’s hard for a girl to let someone know they’re into them. Sometimes emotions get the better of us all, and words go out the window. Sometimes, though, you can be as obvious as possible and still strike out. With that in mind, these Redditors reveal the biggest romantic hints they’ve either given—or totally missed.
1. Straight and Narrow
We were playing Life and he was the officer. The rule in the game is, if you spin a 10, he gets your “speeding fines.” After it happened, I literally pulled open my button-down and exposed my breasts and said, “What can I do to get out of paying this.” He said, “Ma’am. I am an officer of the law. Are you trying to sell yourself to me?” That was it.
A couple days of flirting and innuendo later, I literally had to spell out that I was trying to sleep with him. We’ve been together six years now.
2. Child-Sized Intuition
My now-husband and I were childhood friends and we reconnected when I was in college. A few weeks into dating, we were hanging out alone at his parents' house. Then this happened. Me: "I haven't seen your bedroom in a while." Him: "It hasn't changed." Eight years later, we still laugh about that one.
3. Pikachu, I Don’t Choose You
My biggest missed sign has got to be sophomore year of college. I was hanging out with this girl late night on a Friday one-on-one in a common area, and we’re talking about trips we’ve taken around the globe. She mentions that she got a pair of Pikachu panties in Japan and asks me if I wanted to see them...I said nah that’s pretty weird, and then left like 15 minutes later.
I still look back on that moment and get flushed with embarrassment.
4. Thanks, Hugo Weaving
So I actually slept with a girl before realizing she was actually into me. She knocks on my dorm room door wearing a miniskirt and carrying a chocolate cake (a whole chocolate cake) and says she just baked it and was wondering if I'd like to try some. I tell her that I'm not a big fan of chocolate (crushing her) but I was intelligent enough to add that I'd like try it anyway.
We set the cake aside. I invite her in and she asks what I'm up to. I tell her the truth, that I was about to start watching V for Vendetta, and she squeals that she loves that movie and asks if she can watch it with me. We lay down on my unfolded futon and start watching it together under a blanket (this was in the dead of Boston winter).
We're watching the movie and she starts making all these comments about Hugo Weaving. "I love Hugo Weaving so much." "God, Hugo Weaving is so hot." "Man, Hugo Weaving makes me hot." And all this time I'm like, "Yeah he's a great actor, I loved him in The Matrix." Another ten minutes of this pass before she just turns to me and asks if we can sleep together. And here I am thinking I'm the luckiest dope in the world and I'm so glad I picked a movie that had Hugo Weaving in it.
And my mind—my very underdeveloped pathetic mind—my very first thoughts were, "Hugo Weaving is such a great wingman" and "Darn, talk about being in the right place at the right time." It took me another year before I realized it was all a ruse to get to me. I could have been watching any darn movie at all the whole time with more or less the same result.
5. Blunt Force
So I'm going to answer in lieu of my late wife here. I (husband) am dumb. Like, really dumb. She and I met and became friends very quickly, but I didn't know she apparently had a huge crush on me. I thought she was out of my league, and apparently she thought I was out of her league too, but she couldn't stop the feels. I'm still so embarrassed about what went down, though.
One day, she rubbed her feet on me while we were talking, asked me in detail about my “package,” gave me her phone number with the line, "Hit me up if you want pizza and stuff." We went out for lunch and she was very insistent that we got Meat Lover's pizza when I asked her what she wanted for watching a movie later. After we watched the movie (she was in my bed), I figured she was just wanting to keep warm and cuddle, but she strutted into my bathroom stark naked.
She kissed me and told me, "I want you to sleep with me, you idiot." A regular romance story there. Wow, I was so, so dumb. In my defense, she had a really warped sense of humor and I thought she was kidding with all that stuff. It felt so natural with us being friends that the thought didn't even cross my mind until she propositioned me that there was potential for more. I'd had some really screwed up exes and I thought romance was something where I had to jump through hoops for the other person and wait on them hand on foot...but she was different.
That's why she was the one who I got on one knee for. Advice to the ladies out there: If my wife telling me "I want you to sleep with me" got through my legendarily thick skull, I think as a last resort that'll get through to anybody.
6. Showered With Stupidity
Guy here. I was invited back to study by one of the girls in my class at her apartment. We’re about half an hour in and she says she might take a shower. I’m like ok, kind of random, but ok. Anyway, she starts telling me the door to the shower is broken so DON’T come in. Says it three or four more times. Again, I’m like ok, weird she’s said that multiple times, but ok.
An hour later, the shower is still running. I can hear her singing and humming away, so I know she’s ok and hasn’t drowned. Thinking gee, that’s a long shower, though. Water goes off and she comes out dressed and says you didn’t come in? I’m confused as I’m like she told me not to...She sits back down, clearly distracted and not wanting to study.
We wrap up after five minutes. Drive home. Mate asks me how studying went about a week later and I explain the situation—which I hadn’t given a single brain cell of thought since. As I’m saying it out loud, the penny drops as to what a big dolt I am. That said…c’mon, just tell me what you actually want, I’m not going to do something you say not to.
7. Never Been Kissed
On our first date, my current boyfriend and I went out to dinner, to a bar, and eventually back to his house to watch scary movies. After hanging out for almost eight hours at that point, practically cuddling into him the entire time we were watching movies, dropping as many hints as I could, around 3 am when we were both fighting to stay awake, I finally had to look his dumb butt in the eye and ask, "So are you going to kiss me or not?"
Though he was totally oblivious, it did show his good heart. He was about to let me fall asleep on his couch and spend the night without even trying to kiss me. I knew he was a keeper after that.
8. Baby, It’s Cold Outside
Holy cow I'm mentally slow. I went on a second date with a girl to a hockey game and I don't feel comfortable doing touchy-feely stuff until I outright say I'm ready to commit seriously. So halfway through she says, "Man it's pretty cold in here isn't it." And I said, "Nah, if anything I'm a little warm." Things went normally for the rest of the game, but afterward, I got straight ghosted. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why, but that may or may not be it.
It could be anything really, but I hadn't connected those dots yet, so I physically face-palmed when the light bulb went off. It wasn't anything I was fully committed to yet, so I didn't get too bent out of shape. The bigger thing for me is that I can be socially inept at times and have not been on many dates with people I don't already know.
9. The Old College Try
When I was about 35, I lived in a beach town near a university. My neighbors were all college kids. Next door were two college girls. One was always flirting with me. One hot summer day, she turned up at my door in nothing but a long T-shirt. She asked if she could hang out in the A/C. I said sure, and she came over to the sofa I was sitting on and laid with her back to my chest and asked if we could snuggle.
I was okay with that. She then asked me to rub her belly, which I did. As you can imagine, after about an hour, I was getting a little worked up and touched her breast while rubbing her belly. She jumped up and stormed out. I was like…uh? She later said she didn’t see me like that. I asked her why she’d show up almost naked, lay between my legs like couples do, and ask me to rub her belly and then get peeved when I try to progress things.
She said she looks at me like a big brother. I was like, what the heck is your family like?
10. Netflix and Chill—No, Really
I am a guy, but I can share my density as the guy who missed the hints. I went to a store where there was a girl I liked in college. We used to small talk while I browsed and never bought anything, being a poor college student. This time, I came in the store and she said hi and we chatted a bit while I shopped. She complained, "I'm going to be home alone tonight, my family is out of town."
I replied, "Oh, that's too bad." She says, "I'm off at 5:00 today (it was 4:00 at the time), what are you up tonight? I'm up for anything." "Oh nothing, just sitting at home and watching a movie." My brain must have completely self-destructed, because the conversation ended there. I never saw her again after that; she either quit or was avoiding me. I must have been in a daze from school to miss that cue.
11. Let Me Slip Into Something More Comfortable
I bought new lingerie, waited on the bed for my boyfriend to come home from work. He comes in, looks a little shocked, says, "That's nice" and adjusts the straps. Laid down and started staring at his phone. He said later, after our breakup, that he just didn't know what to do and freaked out inwardly because it was something he'd always wanted.
I never wore lingerie for him again after that incident, it ruined my confidence.
12. A Change of Heart
I’m a guy, but one time I was hanging with a long-time friend of mine who I used to have a crush on and who knew that I had a crush on her and had rejected me numerous times over 7-8 years in her dorm. We decided that we were both tired but her other bed was occupied by our other friend, so I was going to lay down on the floor.
She was like, “There’s room in my bed for you anytime.” So I hop in bed with her thinking nothing of it. The next few minutes were kind of a blur, but eventually, we were literally hugging with her leg wrapped around me and she looked me in the eyes, bit her lip and said that she was hot for me. I never made a move beyond that, since she had spent the past almost decade of my life rejecting my advances.
13. Just Friends
When I was younger, there was a girl I was friends with and we were super close, best friends for ages at this point. One day, she was a little off, so I asked her what was going on. Her response through text was something like, "I have something that I need to tell you, but I'm afraid what you will think about me after telling you this.”
She continued, “I love our friendship so much that I can't see a future without you...I really, really love you and don't want to ever lose you.” My response was, "Oh, I really love you too, can't see my future without you and we are going to be best friends forever." The worst thing was, at that time I really wanted to date her, but still didn't get what she meant.
It took me two days to start understanding what was happening, and three of her friends started screaming at me that she wanted to date me...
14. I (Don’t) Think We’re Alone Now
This was some years ago. I was 22, had been talking to this guy for a while, and was ready to lose my virginity. I was a college student living at home, but my mom and stepdad were on vacation celebrating their anniversary, and I figured this would be the perfect time to make my move. He and I already had a date scheduled, so before we went, I cleaned my room and the entire house from top to bottom.
Then I created a chill playlist on my computer to listen to, shaved/waxed every necessary inch of my body from the forehead down, put on nice underwear, and waited for him to pick me up. Everything was set—I had no idea it was going to fall apart so miserably. We went out to the movies, and when he dropped me off at home, I invited him in—with the added context and in a leading, flirty tone of voice—that we would be all alone and had all the time in the world to do whatever he wanted.
He said, "That's alright, I'm sure you want to enjoy this time you get without your parents to be alone." He was sure, and he was wrong. I just stared at him for like ten solid seconds in silence before I nodded, said, "Yeah that's true," and got out of the car. The walk from my driveway to the front door was the real walk of shame, and I hadn't even gotten any good intimate times out of it. After that, I sat in my very clean house in my underwear, eating pizza and wondering how that could have gone differently.
It was my first time trying to seduce a guy and it failed miserably. I laughed about it though, and I still laugh about it now. I just figured it wasn't in the cards for me yet. Ended up losing my virginity a few years later to the guy I'm currently engaged to, so it worked out wonderfully; he's pretty good at picking up what I'm throwing down.
15. Technical Difficulties
I knew this guy was into me, but I wanted him to make the first move. One night, he got the courage to invite me for a drink when we met at a bar. Next day, knowing he works in IT, I pretended I needed some help with my computer. Before he came, I sent him a text asking what kind of wine he preferred. So yeah, big hint.
He arrived and he obviously thought he was there to fix my laptop. I made up some stupid problem with setting the volume in a movie player, which he showed me immediately how to do properly. I sat next to him on the couch, gave him all sorts of looks and hints and waited for...something. I waited a long while. No move, not even some shy "accidental" touch of hands.
So I got up and said I needed to go to the bathroom to freshen up. When I got back, still wanting him, he was already waiting at the door, saying it's getting late. It was 7 pm. I lived in a building that required a key card for leaving the main entrance, so I had to go down with him. It was such a dreadful, awkward elevator ride.
After he stepped out, he turned around and I thought maybe he finally got it, maybe he understood why I was so peeved. He just waved goodbye and left. But don't worry, there was a happy ending for once! He sent me like 60 roses the next day. It took him a full 24 hours to realize he was not invited to fix my computer. But the next evening, I still had to kiss him first, because he was, and still is, a clueless moron. But he’s my moron.
16. I Hear You Loud and Clear
I feel the need to say that I actually pretended not to notice the obvious hints at one point—and thank God I did. I had a friend who had a super obvious crush on me (one so obvious that I noticed it, which considering that I can be pretty oblivious, is saying something) and kept hitting on me all the time. She was not subtle about it at all.
At one point, we watched a movie together and she practically cuddled with me the whole time. Again. Not subtle. The problem was that she was in a relationship at the time and 1) I was not going to go out with her while she was still in a relationship and 2) I wasn't going to ask her to break up with the guy just so I could be his replacement.
I considered the guy a massive jerk and thought she should indeed break up with him, but she seemed scared to be single, so I wanted her to do it for her and not so she could just jump into another relationship. There was also the matter that I wasn't sure how well things would actually work if we did get together. She was sweet and really cute, but she also had some unaddressed issues with her mental health and sometimes talked to me in ways that I didn't feel were terribly respectful.
Eventually, I just stopped talking to her altogether because she was by that point engaged and still hitting on me. She'd also said a few things that had crossed a line by that point.
17. Just Between Us
I once invited a co-worker crush over at 9 PM on a Sunday night. When he asked how he should get to my place, I told him to take an Uber and that he should bring clothes for work the next morning. Somehow, he arrived at my apartment thinking I had invited him over to help me pick out an outfit for a first date I was going on later that week.
He finally realized what was actually happening a couple minutes after he showed up, when I told him I didn't want any of our friends to know about this yet. It worked out.
18. Delayed Reaction
I was once dating a guy who was super bad at knowing when a girl was into him. I could tell he was into me but wasn't getting my subtle hints, so I flat out told him, "I want to sleep with you." He replied with "Thank you." I clarified with "right now," which didn't result in him making a move for several more weeks.
19. Of All the Gin Joints…
I'm going to go into this story a little. I was working out pretty hard. I was talking to some people at work (in a restaurant) and mentioned that my pecs were pretty sore. I wasn't trying to show off or anything, just casual conversation with co-workers. One of the girls who was a massage therapy student said I should come over and let her massage my pecs.
I didn't go over to her place. I'm an idiot. She was hot, like real hot, like super hot. I quit that job with a no show, no call. They just never heard from me again. Maybe a year later, she came into the new place I was working at with a date. She waited for her date to go to the bathroom and told me when I didn't show up that she was calling all the hospitals looking for me.
I guess she really was into me. Sucks, I had my head up my butt over an ex so I just wasn't in a place to pursue something new. Oh well.
20. A Clean Break
This guy I was dating decided to read me a letter his father wrote to him that had advice on dating. My date was an excellent gentleman with a whole lot of things going for him. Unfortunately, hygiene wasn't one of them. Anyway, he came to a part of the letter where his father had listed different reasons why it is so important to have good hygiene.
I piped up then with a, "Oh yes! I love that piece of advice. Your dad is really smart." He never took the hint. When I later broke up with him, I never told him, but hygiene was one of the main reasons. The main reason, really. I really hope he's doing okay out there and either figured it out or found someone with a stronger stomach.
21. Reader, I Dumped Him
While making out: "I want you to be my first." Narrator: He wasn't.
22. Two Fools in Love
I asked him out for Valentine's Day. He told me to screw off. We were really close friends, so I didn't take it too bad. One year later, we're hanging out watching a movie and he keeps getting closer. I didn't get the hint and kept scooting down to the other side of the couch. I just didn’t want to make it weird between us.
A few days later. I ask why he kept getting close to me. He said that he was interested in me. I asked if that meant we're together now? He told me uhh, do you want to? So we got together, but honestly, I was still confused. I later asked why he told me to screw off. He thought I was messing with him. We're now engaged.
23. Thank You, Kind Sir
My now-wife still kids me about the time when we were first dating. We had already been intimate just before this event but it was still extremely new. As in the next date after our first time. We went out for drinks and I didn't realize how much she had. We get back to my place, I put her to bed in my bed and head out to the couch.
She was legit mad at me for not taking things further until she realized my point of view. It was actually the first time she stayed over, and I had to leave for work in the morning so I woke her up to say goodbye and that I would be back for lunch and how to lock the door if she had to leave before I got back. Fun memories of me being the most upstanding of gentlemen.
24. Shake on It
So this was two weeks before me and my ex started dating. He used to walk me home from school every day. I only lived a 12-minute walk away from school, whereas he lived a 20-minute drive away from the school. Still made sure to walk me home from school every day. Anyway, one day, he walked me home and I went to open my garage and saw that no one was home yet. So I make the executive decision to invite this boy (who I had a raging crush on) inside my house with no one home for a "house tour."
He agreed and in we went. So I show him around the house, and the entire time we're flirting. I eventually bring him upstairs to my room. So we hang out in there for a while and we start talking about intimate stuff. We ended up making a deal that if we both hadn't lost our virginity by senior prom, we'd lose it to each other.
Once again, we were in my house, with no one home, in my room with my door closed. I'm pretty sure telling a kid you've made clear you're flirting with heavily that you would indeed sleep with him is a large sign. We ended up dating two weeks later. "We're dating now" is how he asked me out. I later talked to him about it and we both had a laugh about it and our awkward inability to tell each other that we liked each other.
25. Some People Are Lost Causes
I was at a party at a bar and I was hitting on this guy. I was really interested at the time, so I was giving it the full-court press. Like, I could not have been more clear. And he just was. Not. Getting. It. We ended up chatting about our families and he told me this story about how his parents met while serving in the forces.
It was like something something something his mother almost ended up getting court-martialed because his father didn’t realize she was completely in love with him, because his father was completely clueless. I slugged down the last of my drink, slammed the glass on the bar, looked him dead in the eye, and said, “Really? Is that a genetic trait?”
And…whoosh. He kept right on talking. I gave up after that.
26. Sleep on It
Literally slept with the guy, and the next morning he was like "Oh well, we can pretend that didn't happen if you like.” I turned him round and was like NO MORON WE'RE DATING NOW and we were together for three and a half years.
27. Wet and Not-So Wild
We were at his house and it started raining incredibly heavy like I hadn’t seen before where we live. So we went outside and just kind of had fun in it. We then went back inside and we were soaking wet. We were in his bedroom, I saw a chance and took it. I took off all of my wet clothes and lay on his bed. He just sat beside me in his wet clothes and put a movie on.
Didn’t even touch me. We’ve been together for three years now, he was just so clueless at the beginning. Sweet guy. He told me after we got together that at the time he just thought I was just a very relaxed person who didn’t like wearing wet clothes. Right.
28. Unlock My Meaning
I went out with a really cute guy. We had a good date, had ice cream, went to a movie. He dropped me off at my house. He had his freaking hand on my knee, I kissed his cheek. I tell him, “I don’t think anyone is home.” He replies, “I hope you’re not locked out!” I don’t know how much clearer I could have been that he could slide into home base.
He texted me a couple days after that, but I don’t know, the spark was gone.
29. This Kid Can’t Play Ball
I told my crush that he looked hot (he was wearing a hoodie at the time) and that just looking at him made me swear, so he was like "Yeah," then took his hoodie off. A few minutes later, I told him I was cold and he handed me his hoodie, and after putting it on I was like, "It smells good," but of course he didn't get. Not at all.
Later we were in gym class and we were partnered up for basketball and he told me that he was hot, so I said, "You always look hot." It took him a couple of minutes to process even then.
30. Too Little, Too Late
We were under the covers and in our undies. And kissing. And that was it. Over a year later, the phone rings and I answer it and I just hear him yelling, "I was an idiot!!!" Dude also asked if it was too late and if he could come over. I was now living with my boyfriend so yeah, a little too late. Sorry bud.
31. Taking Matters Into Her Own Hands
Saw this boy every weekend, and he would buy me drinks and we would flirt heavily. He would never make a move, just politely buy me a drink from across the bar. One weekend I had enough and stormed outside where he was standing with a group of friends and just kissed him. Left him standing there with his mouth gaping, his friends hollering, and I just walked away.
I’m happy to report we just had our seven-year anniversary a few days ago.
32. Touchy-Feely For YOU
My female friend would cuddle with the guy she liked on the couch and then started taking naps with him in his bed. This freaking bozo thought she was just a "touchy-feely" person. She ended up telling him she liked him, and now they are married.
33. See No Evil
I have a pole in my living room. So one day, I dressed like a schoolgirl and waited for my boyfriend to get home. He walks in and I started doing some pole tricks, and he literally walked past me into the bedroom to change…I was like “Uh hellllooooo, I’m trying to sleep with you right now.” He just replied, “Oh, I just thought you were dressed like that.” He kinda ruined it.
34. I Choo-Choo-Choose You
My then-not-boyfriend and I were waiting at the train station on my train home; he would leave with the bus after it arrived. My train came, and I thought “Screw it” and kissed my then-not-boyfriend on the mouth. Immediately after, I jumped on the train, and the doors then closed. I didn't see his reaction nor did I feel it, so I sat pretty anxiously on the train, thinking I ruined it all.
About five minutes later, I got a text saying: “That was meant as a friends kiss, right?” Bless his heart.
35. Off the Deep End
Last summer, I was doing my best to seduce the man who is my current boyfriend. We were going swimming at a friend's house, and while they were changing into their bathing suits in the house, me and him made our way to the pool. I take advantage of this moment to strip in front of him, as sensual as possible. My bathing suit was underneath my clothes.
He runs past me, full sprint, and cannon-balls into the pool.
36. Marking Her Territory
At the end of high school, I found out that one of my close female friends had a huge crush on me for years, and I had missed all of her signals. We remained chat buddies as we went through college, and at one point she invited me to her sorority's yearly ball. I said, "Sure, that sounds like fun!" Still didn't get it.
As soon as we arrived at the ball, one of her sorority sisters sidled up to me and whispered: "Careful, we spiked the punch a LOT. Don't drink too much; you'll thank me later." Okay, starting to wonder...while I was debating in my head whether to try flirting with her or not, my friend sat on my lap, looked at me, and said: "MINE." The rest of the night was glorious.
37. Movie Magic
Back when my boyfriend and I were "just friends," there was a night I spent at his apartment after hanging out together all day. I was going to sleep on the couch, but I managed to talk my way into his bedroom. To get myself into his room, I think I said his roommates or his neighbors were too loud. He got back up to get me a pillow and a blanket so I could sleep on his floor.
I had taken off my bra and had asked to borrow his sweater at this point. After a while, I joked that he was hogging all the blankets up in his bed. He finally invited me up. So THEN I said I couldn't sleep, and suggested we stay up together to watch a movie on his phone. I was beyond nervous at this point. So we're in his bed, he's holding the phone above our eyes, and I decide to lean on his shoulder and slooowly begin the process of inching closer to him.
We laid there all night, curled up yet barely touching, neither of us breaking the spell for so much as a peck on the cheek. We fell asleep. He wouldn't end up asking me out until ~5 months later. We re-enacted this scene on a hotel bed after sneaking up a bottle of wine from his office Christmas party. This time, I decided to stop being so shy.
After a few sips of white wine, I finally felt brave. I looked up into his eyes and kissed him. Later that night, we admitted that our mutual hesitation during that first night was due to nerves from not wanting to risk our friendship for a one-night stand. The only potential problem in us jumping into a relationship was our distance, because we were living almost two hours away from each other.
So less than a week after that, I took the bus down to stay for another night. I told him I loved him and that we should try being together anyway. We've been together ever since, and we're moving in together in a few weeks.
38. The Wonders of the Cosmos
Completely undressed in front of him and undid my hair. Then proceeded to tell him I was taking a bath, and I lit candles and shut the lights off. He followed me in, got my hopes up, and then sat fully clothed on the toilet talking to me about space. For 30 minutes.
39. You Made Your Bed, Now You Have to Lay in It
I'm the guy in this situation, but I couldn't help not sharing this story. In college, this girl I was really into asked if I wanted to hang out at my dorm and drink and watch Netflix. She came over, and we were watching and drinking on the couch in the living room, per my suggestion. Things are going good, and about an hour into it she says, "Ooh, lemme see your room," so we go to my room.
She takes her shoes and socks off and immediately sprawls herself out on my bed and says, "Oh my god, your bed is SO comfortable!" I responded with, "We live in the same building, it's the same bed as yours." She left about 10 minutes later.
40. A Hairy Situation
He told me my hair looked nice. I said, "Bet it would look nicer with your hands in it." He said, in a very confused tone, "...You want me to style your hair?"
41. Womanspreading
When my boyfriend and I had just started dating, we were laying down watching a movie, but this was a small bed and he was being respectful and giving me space. I kept wiggling backward so I could get closer to him, and he kept inching backward too, since he thought I was just trying to get comfortable and he was in the way.
He ended up sitting in a chair next to the bed. Three years later, we are still together, and I still think it's pretty funny. He told me that when he was in the chair, he purposefully left his hand next to me in case I wanted to hold it, but I guess I missed that sign too. He didn't get out of the bed because he was uncomfortable, he truly thought he was taking up too much space and didn't realize I was trying to cuddle.
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