How Can People Be THIS Ignorant?
Look, we can't all know EVERYTHING—but that doesn't stop some people from going off about something they know literally nothing about.
1. Doing Things By The Book
A lady brought her husband in for elective surgery and he required general anesthesia. She comes in with an old dog-eared paperback book and asks to have a meeting with the surgery team.
We humor her, and apparently she wanted specific anesthetic agents for her husband, since she did research on all of them and developed her own “informed opinion”.
All of the agents she wanted were essentially removed years ago due to harsh side effects, or there were better medications available. But she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Then came the most hilarious part. When I looked at her book, I noticed that it was published in 1965.
2. Room Service
Customer: "I'd like a hotel room". Me: "I'm so sorry, we're all sold out". Customer: "Yes, but you always keep one of your best suites available in case someone important comes in". Me: "No, I don't". Customer: "
So what would you say if President Obama walked in here right now and asked for a room"? Me: "I would suggest he go back to his house. Which, for the record, is less than a mile away from here".
No, people, I don't keep my best suite set aside for VIPs. If someone wants to pay me money, I sell it to them. That's how a business works. You don't find grocery stores hiding their good produce "just in case"
the President happens to show up and wants a freaking pear. That would be an absurd thing to do. Hotels don't do it, either. So stop spreading that rumor, please!
3. Drive My Car
I used to work in Auto Detailing. The one thing we NEVER did was power wash the motor of a 90's model Jaguar.
The electronics in it were way too sensitive for that kind of thing, and the slightest amount of pressure would make the instrument panel light up like a Christmas tree. But inconvenient little facts like that could never deter a wannabe expert.
A dealer wanted us to clean his fleet of Jaguars, so we did. All nine of them. He checked the motors and one of them still had a little tiny bit of dirt on it. He went from zero to 60 at me. He starts yelling at me, so I explain, "I understand, but the electronics are super sensitive, and the slightest amount of high pressure could cause the instrument panel to light up. We have to hand wipe the motor with wet rags and cleaner, so sometimes we miss a spot due to human error".
He calls his porter over and tells him to bring that car around to the repair side. He insists that he is going to clean it himself since I have a “bad attitude”. He opens the hood, grabs a garden hose, and starts blasting the engine bay. "See!
Clean". I say to him, "Absolutely". He goes and starts the car, looks down, shuts the car off, gets out, and awkwardly apologizes.
4. Seeing The Light
I'm a welder. One of the biggest hazards I face is UV damage to my eyes from the electric welding ark. That stuff is incredibly bright, and just a glimpse of it can leave spots on your vision for hours. And that’s the best-case scenario.
I once had some random guy try to tell me that only the initial "flash" is dangerous when you're welding.
Apparently, after you strike an ark you can just stare at it without any trouble at all. Yeah, I’ll let him be the one to test that theory out…
