Helicopter Parenting Gone Wild
Parenting is a hard job that almost no one can do perfectly right, but some parents just need to chill the heck out.
These helicopter moms and dads took over-protective to the next level, and caused some serious damage in their kids' lives in the process.
1. Your Help Is Unhelpful
My college roommate was born deaf, his mom never allowed him to learn sign language because she would "always be there to protect him" and "he needs to live a normal life, not a deaf life" (her words, not mine).
He was pretty good at lip reading, and could vocalize remarkably well given how profound his hearing loss was. But when he left for school, she went off the deep end.
His mom pulled me aside and very seriously asked me to inform her any time he talked to a girl, as she said he has "problems" with girls trying to take advantage of him.
She also insisted he say good night to her every night, which meant he had to be on instant messenger (deaf, so he couldn't call without using a specialized typing phone) with her for at least an hour every night or else she'd call our room phone in a panic looking for him.
2. They (Don’t) Grow Up So Fast
I knew a mother who kept her five-year-old daughter in diapers. And not for any understandable reason, no. Her motives were ridiculous. It was because when they went out of the house, she didn't want her using public restrooms. Because the girl sitting in her own excrement was much better for her health, apparently.
3. Ruining It For Everyone Else
My dad coached my hockey team when I was 10-12. He was a great coach and was friends with my friends’ dads and also got them to coach.
So here we are in this rinky-dink town and we're running the table on team after team because my coaches actually cared about the kids. We have organized practices. We have skills we try to develop.
Every day we got better. Every game, whether it was a win or a loss we learned something. The last year my dad coached, we had this kid on the team. His name was Chad, and he didn't want to be there.
He was very overweight (at 12) and he probably had asthma. He lacked any sense of competitive instincts and he was a complete introvert.
The entire season my dad focused on trying to get him to open up. He tried to get him better and tried to get him to love to play sports. By the end of the season, it was starting to work but...you can't coach asthma away just by being positive about it. And there was another problem. Chad's mom was at all of the games that year and every tournament.
A real winner that woman was. Never cheered for anyone but her son, and her son was the absolute...best. For out-of-town tournaments, we used to have the Zamboni come on between periods.
During that time, we'd be in the dressing room. Chad's mom would come in with a burger for her son....to eat between periods 1 and 2. Between 2 and 3....it'd be fries and gravy. Just like all the sports stars eat. She also kept track of his minutes.
She brought a notepad to every game with a stopwatch and timed how long Chad's shifts were. How often he was passed the puck. How many power play or penalty opportunities he got.
You know, the full stats package that you'd expect to get as a professional athlete.
Near the end of the season and throughout playoffs, she would accost my dad, a volunteer coach who had two jobs and three sons to take care of, and ream him out in the hallway. She would do this within earshot of the dressing room.
She'd complain about Chad's time on the ice and show the stat sheets she had accumulated. This we all heard.
Chad couldn't have shrunk any lower into his seat. We tried to pump him up but she embarrassed him...every game. EVERY single game she did this. Until at the end of the season, when disaster struck. She finally got her way and got my dad "fired" from his volunteer job. My dad...a former high school and university level coach...fired from his volunteer job...because her son wasn't treated "equally".
I wonder sometimes how that story is spun around Chad's family. I wonder if my dad is cast as the supervillain like some Disney sports movie. I wonder if Chad is always the hero and I wonder whatever happened to him. If all that fighting and pushing by his mom ever ended or did it just continue...for life? I'll never know because he quit hockey and never came back.
Meanwhile, the rest of the team who had the best-coached hockey in their young lives lost three amazing coaches because of one nutcase woman. Participation trophies are NEVER something a kid demands.
They have everything to do with the crazy moms and dads who are living vicariously through their poor kids.
Then these jerks have the nerve to say, "Well when we grew up we didn't get participation trophies just for showing up..." Well of course you didn’t, you idiots. You're the morons that invented them.
4. Unhealthy Attachment
A friend of mine wanted to move out from his controlling mom’s house at age 23. He should have known—he couldn't escape. His mom kept complaining about the places he was looking to rent. Her solution was infuriating.
Eventually, she decides that it's better if she buys an apartment and lets him rent it from her, just to make sure that everything is in order.
She now has a key to his place, and yes, she uses it to check on the place every time he's out of the apartment and she even leaves small presents for him to just let him know that she was there.
