The Fights That Ruined Relationships
Everyone gets into fights with their loved ones; it's a fact of life. Usually, once the dust has settled, you can forgive and forget—but not these people. These insane fights ended entire relationships—and yet we can't look away.
1. The Wrong Kind Of Love
I believe it started when I was around six years old. My parents often had “friends” over in the house. I didn't know they were polyamorous. One day, I was outside playing, got hurt, and when I ran inside I caught my parents making out with some random guy. They told me they have other adults that they love and it's a completely normal thing. Me being a child, I just accepted that. But the thing is, it was far worse than it seemed.
They gave up being secretive and their partners would constantly be around, even joining on outings.
I remember that on my 10th birthday they invited three of their partners, one of whom I'd never seen before, and for the rest of the day my parents just withdrew from my party and hung out with them.
I never saw them doing anything explicit again but they would kiss their partners, hug them, make flirty comments, something that would be normal between parents but not with many more people.
Sometimes I came home from school and my parents were gone and there was some random adult in our house. Some of them seemed surprised that my parents even had a child.
I always hated it, but since my parents had told me this was normal, I assumed many adults probably did similar things and that it's just an adult thing all kids hate. Later they had fewer partners and eventually seemed to stop.
I didn't think about it anymore. A year ago I started therapy for other reasons. As per usual, the topic of my upbringing came up and it brought back many feelings I wasn't aware of.
I realized that although my parents were always good to me, I had never really felt close to any of them and still have a lot of resentment that they made me feel like I had to compete for their attention with random strangers.
A while ago, I visited them and they told me they are going to take part in a documentary about polyamorous families and that the producers would like to include interviews with the children, so they would love if I could agree and tell everyone that polyamory “doesn't mess kids up.” All my resentment bubbled up, and I exploded.
I said that I cannot agree because I would not be able to say anything positive. My parents looked shocked (I had never brought this up before) and asked why, and I unloaded all of it. I said that I always felt pushed aside and we barely had any family time without strangers intruding. It turned into an argument and I became loud and yelled that the truth is they did mess me up and they shouldn't have had a child if their number one priority was their other partners.
My mother cried and my father said I should probably leave. So I left and was shaken up for the rest of the week but also felt regret because I've never made my mother cry before. Later my father sent me a message that was like “
We are sorry you feel that way, can we have a calm discussion about this soon?” Even though I tried to, it's like I can't reply, this argument brought something very emotional up in me.
2. Jealous, Much?
I’m 16, and I started dating my girlfriend two years ago. I also got super into baking around that time. I bake a lot. My girlfriend loves desserts. So I've given her a ton of stuff I bake, all kinds of different stuff.
I often try to bake something new and then she gets to try something new. I honestly love baking way more than eating it. My girlfriend is the opposite.
Well, recently she gave me a scrapbook she made. She had counted everything I baked her apparently, and she gave me this scrapbook after I baked her her 100th dessert.
It was filled with a picture of every dessert I've baked and pictures of me baking and her eating. She wrote a paragraph about each item I baked. Each item was dated, too. She had been working on this for two years.
She also wrote a long letter on how proud she is of my baking hobby, thanking me for the sweets, and telling me how much she loves me. It was the sweetest gift I've ever gotten and I honestly cried.
I showed my mom and sister expecting them to think it’s cute but they were furious. They were angry I've spent so much time baking for my girlfriend and not them.
3. Facing Up To It
I sustained very bad injuries to my face this month. I'm in the stage of healing where the scar tissue has formed, but it's still very tender "new skin." I'm going to have very obvious facial scarring for the rest of my life.
The injury starts about an inch above my hairline, goes down over my brow. Wherever it touches, hair will not grow. It continues down my cheek where it is deepest.
I'll always probably have an indentation in the fullest part of my cheek. Then it continues to my jawline. In some ways it's OK. I'm happy it's just cosmetic damage. My friends are super reassuring, telling me how sick it's gonna look.
They say I'm still as hot as ever, now a little more sexy and mysterious, hah. But in some ways it really sucks.
I know that I'm always gonna be seen first as "the girl with the scar" and it feels especially bad when people look at me differently. This week, I had to fly home for a family thing; it was a plan I'd made long before my injury.
I wasn't really looking forward to the pity or people making a big deal of it. I'd rather it not be acknowledged.
I'd also met with my dermatologist who said that I was at the stage of scar tissue formation that I no longer should be dressing the wounds.
The skin was healing and instead I needed to be applying topical cream and Vaseline to keep the site clean and moist. It also looks a bit ugly; the building scar tissue is very red and tender, and with the Vaseline over it, looks slick and shiny.
So I get on this flight. I have the window seat and I put on my headphones and drift off to sleep when the plane is still boarding. It went more horrible than my worst nightmare. I wake up to this kid, maybe four years old, sat next to me and throwing a tantrum. I didn't catch the first part of it and I honestly couldn't understand what he was yelling about.
Then his father said to me, "Can you cover that injury?" I said that my dermatologist recommends I don't, so no I don't think I will. He started snapping at me saying "There is no need to be so rude. That injury is scaring my little one." I said, "
This is my face. The only face I've got. It sucks being told I'm so ugly I can't show my face in public."
He started to backtrack saying, "just until it's healed," and I said, "It'll always be with me. Maybe teach some compassion and respect instead of telling a girl half your age what you think about her face. That's rude."
He actually got up after that and I think he went to see the stewardess about a seat change because a young couple came to sit next to me instead.
I felt so low that I put on my sunglasses and had a quiet cry for a few minutes.
4. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
I always tell my daughter and my stepdaughter if they're ever in a situation that they need to get out of, just call me and I'll drop whatever I'm doing and I will pick them up, no questions asked, no judgments made.
I let them know that I used to be a teenager once before, and told them everyone is entitled to make bad decisions every now and then.
We're only human and it's a part of life. Last weekend I got a call from my 17-year-old stepdaughter. She told me she snuck out of the house and went to a party and had too much to drink.
She was scared of passing out at the party because there were people there she didn't know. I got there just in time, she was so gone she couldn't even walk.
I had to pick her up and carry her to the car. I told her I was disappointed that she snuck out, but I also told her I was glad she made the right choice, the safe choice to have me pick her up.
I haven't told my wife about it, because I don't want to mess with the deal I made with my stepdaughter. I want her to know that she can trust me. I just hope I'm making the right choice.
