Satisfying Customer Service “Gotchas”
Everybody dreams of putting a jerk in their place, especially when it comes to a customer service Ken or Karen.
Well, those dreams are now a reality: These Redditors got the perfect opportunity to shut up nightmare patrons, and they jumped right on it. Welcome to some of the most satisfying customer service “gotchas.”
1. Just Being Neighborly
One of my favorite stories from my brief time in customer service was when a man who called up the night after a minor hurricane started screaming that his service didn't work. He said that he had complained multiple times and this was the last straw. Clearly our service sucked, and it was our fault his cable was out. He kept cutting me off and calling me rude names. But I had the perfect response.
Finally, I just interjected: Sir, your cable isn't out because of an issue with our service, your cable is out because a tree branch fell across the cable line. What's that? How do I know? Because I saw the branch fall. I'm the one who went out in the rain last night to get the branch out of the street. In fact, I know you know it's a branch, because I could see you looking out your window at me moving the branch that fell on your property.
Not only that, but when I was done, I went inside and called into work on my day off to arrange a bucket truck to come out and rerun the cable so you could beat the rush of calls that came in all across the island due to the storm.
You didn't even have to call. A truck is already on route. Well, that shut him up.
2. Nickle And Diming
I used to work for a grocery store in high school as a cashier. One busy Saturday, an older lady came through my long line with about $150 worth of groceries.
Among her items was a prepackaged piece of meat from our deli department that is normally priced by weight. Her meat did not have a printed sticker on the package and I would've needed to find a bag boy or manager to run to the deli to get it priced.
Because we were super busy, I decided to wing it, and set it on my scale. "Looks like it's almost a pound, so...let's say...$2.77? Does that sound fair?" I began to ring it as a miscellaneous item. Her answer sent a shiver through my spine. "No it does NOT sound fair!" she yelled in a screeching voice. "You need to get that priced!" Groans from the line began behind her, as I found a bag boy to run to get the price sticker.
A manager came by to see what the commotion was about and the lady explained the situation. I explained why I had made the decision I made. The manager of course stuck up for the lady (which we laughed about later) and she accepted the apology.
We then waited for what seemed like an eternity of eye-contact avoidance and thumb twiddling.
The bag boy came back and handed me the pork. I smirked and showed her the price. "$2.78. Huh, I would've saved you a penny!" The man behind her chortled. Never saw her again.
3. What A Gas
I was working at a gas station in a very rich part of town.
During a nice summer day, a prime example of the douchebag variety of the human species drove his super-expensive Lamborghini in and, in that haughty, I'm-rich-so-you-must-do-what-I-say voice, demanded that it be filled with premium.
Which the attendant started to do, only the guy immediately snatched the nozzle from him and screamed that "you're too stupid to do this on your own."
We're in Oregon, by the way, where you can't pump your own gas because of state fire laws. Well, being that he's a douchebag and an idiot, gas spills out from the nozzle all over his sparkly douche-mobile. At this point, he truly flips out. He storms into the store, where I'm working as the cashier and de facto manager. He immediately demands to speak to the owner, and that we are going to pay to have his car repainted AND he's not going to be paying for his gas.
I try my best to calm the situation, but he's got a good rage going and doesn't want to be calmed down. While he's spewing forth, I notice that an officer from the local department is about to come into the store to get snacks or a drink or some such. This gives me a nice idea. "Sir, I'm afraid that the gas is in your tank and you pumped it yourself, so you are going to have to pay."
Cutscene of an explosion. Douchebag then asks, "So what, exactly, do you think you can do if I just go and get in my car and leave?" Thank you, good Lord, for timing. He says this, at full bellow, right as the officer walks through the door.
My response? "Well, personally I can't do much, but the nice officer standing behind you will probably be able to do something.”
Douchebag turns around to see the officer, with a very predatory smile on his face, nodding vigorously. Yeah, he shut up, paid, and we never saw him again.
4. Watch Your Manners
I used to do cellphone customer service for a call centre in Canada, though it was an American cellphone company.
Got a call from a right-angry Texan who had been passed around from agent to agent with no one really listening to him, making him even more angry (and understandably so). So, he gets to me and he's just a whirlwind of yelling and swearing.
I can barely make out what he's saying. In my sternest Person-In-Charge voice I say, "Sir, that's no way to talk to a lady!" Right away he calms down and goes: "Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am." And we resolved his issue within a couple of minutes.
Oh, Texas. I love your old-school gentlemen when they're not drowned out by your extreme fundamentalists.
