I'm SO Embarrassed To Know You š¤¦āāļø
Have you ever been totally embarrassed by the actions of a family member? Well, these folks haveāand they've taken to the internet to share their most cringeworthy stories.
1. Sir, This Is An Applebeeās
My dad had a deep growly voice that is barely a subsonic rumble. To make things worse, he also had his own unique way of naming foods that other people didnāt understand. For instance, he would ask for āslop and rocksā instead of biscuits and gravy. So, we were at Applebeeās because my mom loved it. Our waiter, a sweet young guy, took our drink orders. What ensued still haunts me.Ā
āBEEFEATER ROCKS,ā my dad rumbled. āPardon?ā said the waiter. āBEEFEATER ROCKS,ā my dad repeated, louder. Our poor waiter looked scared. He couldnāt figure out what my dad was saying, and my dad was looking angrier by the second.
How many Applebeeās customers order a drink on the rocks like theyāre in some 1940s film noir?
āBEEFEATER ROCKS!ā Dad yelled for the third time. Finally, someone had mercy on the poor lad and translated my dadās order for him.
2. Heās No President Snow
I have an uncle who is loud, willfully ignorant and has used temper tantrums and unpleasant behavior to get his way for his entire life. Heās like the villain in a bad teen novel. The last straw was when my grandparents passed.
This uncle tried to take everything from his siblings, and when my mother stood up to him, he threatened to bump her off.
Iād really like to believe there was a mix-up at the hospital when he was born and that we arenāt actually related.
3. A Real-Life Cousin Eddie
My mom and I rented a van and drove from Florida to Virginia while picking up my grandma, uncle, and cousins along the way since none of them wanted to fly to my cousinās wedding. You can imagine the headache that was.
When we got there we were all going to meet at a nice Italian restaurant the day before the wedding to celebrate.
During our drive, my uncle Jack and grandma were both adamant that we needed to stop and get āreal foodā, which, according to them, was a fast-food hamburger. For the entire seven-hour journey, the only place they would eat at was McDonaldās. My mom and I were appalled. Anyways, we finally got to the Italian restaurant. I could tell it wasnāt going to go well.
My uncle Jack was talking to himself about how this place wasnāt āAmericanā and asking why the heck we chose this FOREIGN restaurant when we could have had us some good old AMERICAN food somewhere and it would have been SO much better.
The cousin who rode with us had gotten so stoned as soon as we had gotten to the hotelāafter that car ride, I decided it was necessary.
My mom, my cousin who was getting married, his fiancƩe, and my grandma were all ignoring my uncle as he talked. My stoned cousin and I were cheesing out and I was getting very uncomfortable listening to my stupid uncle go on and on.
The waitress came over and started to take his order. I couldnāt believe what came out of his mouthā¦
His exact words were, āWell, woman, since you aināt got nothinā AMERICAN on here, and I donāt know what half this stuff is, I guess the only thing I can read is āspaghetti and meatballsā so Iāll order that. Pssshā. My mouth dropped open. My high was completely ruined. As I looked at him, I was horrified to notice something elseā¦
On top of it all, he had been FLOSSING HIS TEETH at the table. He had a disgusting pile of floss picks on his plateālike four or five of them. I pretty much ran to the bathroom and hyperventilated.
Iāve never felt so uncomfortable about being out in public with someone in my life. Hopefully, Iāll never have to go through anything like that ever again.
4. Lucky Escape
I had been dating this woman for two months and we were going to a bar to watch football. She was a Packers fan and Iām a Bears fan. I was wearing my Justin Fields jersey and she started to chastise me about it. She said, ā
Iām mad you didnāt consider my feelings when wearing thatā. Weird, but OK. I just thought she was joking.
She wasnāt joking. She said, āYouāre very selfish for not considering how I would look standing next to you in thatā. OK then. I made a conscious effort to bite my tongue. That wasnāt the worst part, though. We were still in the parking lot. We hadnāt even walked into the bar yet and her mom called. She started whining at her mom.
She told her mom, āYou didnāt consider my feelings when you forgot to buy me chipsā. Whaat? Who says that? Then she started throwing a temper tantrum like a child. She kept saying things like ā
Youāre selfish for not considering how Iād feelā and āYou donāt love your daughter if you couldnāt even get her some chipsā.
I couldnāt believe how she was having a total meltdown in front of me in the parking lot. I awkwardly told her that this wasnāt going to work between us and quickly got in my car and drove away.
On that day I learned that a) Her parents still grocery shop for her and b) I may have my faults, but Iād never ever act like that.
