"Meet The Parents" Gone SO Wrong
Meeting the parents can be one of the most nerve-wracking experiences, and these Redditors know that firsthand.
Here, they tell the tales of the most embarrassing, horrifying, and confusing encounters they’ve had with a partner's mother, father, or entire family. From catching a parent in the buff to inappropriate comments, these “meet the parents”
stories won’t disappoint.
1. Much Too Much Information
His mom asked us if we were "dipping winkies" and said if he ever needed condoms, for us to tell her we're "hungry for Hardee's" and she'd know what we meant and wouldn't have to explain further. She said that she would either give us money for condoms or go out and buy us some. That's not even the creepiest part. Did I mention I was 14 at the time?
I found out years later that she became pregnant and had an abortion at 13. She didn't want us to have to make that decision, so she really was just trying to be helpful. Still, it was a little much the very first time meeting her.
2. Case Of Mistaken Identity
When I began dating my girlfriend, I ended up meeting her mother fairly quickly and we got along well. However, it wasn't until nearly three years later that I ended up meeting her father, as he was overseas working.
Now, a bit of background on her father...he was a very no-nonsense, straightforward, Buddhist, Asian, Engineer who trained zealously in martial arts.
He had raised my girlfriend more akin to a son than a daughter, so his expectations of any male his daughters chose as a boyfriend were rather high.
This was more so with the daughter I chose to date because she was both his firstborn and the one he invested the most effort into.
Maybe a month before her mother's birthday, my girlfriend tells me that her dad will be coming down to stay for a few months so I would finally be properly introduced.
Needless to say, I'm a tad nervous as her father has been built up in my mind to be an amalgamation of Bruce Lee, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bill Gates, and Hercules.
It also doesn't help that I was the last thing an Asian parent would want their daughter to bring home: An Arts major with shaggy hair who dressed like a Bohemian and spent a great deal of the time distracting said daughter who was a very talented Molecular Biology student with videogames, city exploration, naps, laziness, pleasures, shenanigans, and fripperies.
The day finally arrived and, as had become a tradition at her household, I brought a cake to celebrate. Lo and behold, who else opens the door but my girlfriend's father. To be fair, he wasn't nearly as big or as muscled as I imagined.
He was in his late 50s, but his build denoted that he had seen quite a few fights in his day. He had cauliflower ears, thick/muscled torso, toned arms, etc. and, like his offspring, he wore that signature scowl on his face.
(Thankfully, I have the unique ability to remove that scowl from my girlfriend's face.)
Her father gave me the once over, took the cake from my hands, gave me a $20, and shut the door. I'm stunned for a good 15 seconds but I knock again to try and figure out what's up.
Her father again appears, scowl unmoved, and glares at me before shouting back into the apartment, "Honey, grab me my wallet, the delivery boy wants a tip!"
Without going over the laughter and horror that my girlfriend and her mother had when seeing who the delivery boy was, that was my first encounter with my girlfriend's father.
3. It Always Lingers
I was sitting at dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, who I had just met 10 minutes earlier. We were having a casual conversation, when the worst moment of my life happened. I sneeze-farted. I tried to play it cool, but we all knew what happened. The worst part was that about 30 seconds after it happened, after everyone had moved on, the smell crept in.
4. It Was A Rocky Start
The first time I met my fiance's mother, we had to walk past her to go to his bedroom. My now-fiance said, "Hi mom, this is my girlfriend." I said hi, she said hi, and that was it. We were more formally introduced in the morning.
However, the next time we saw each other, I came stumbling intoxicated into the house and told her how much I loved Buffy while she was watching it, and had a 5-minute conversation with their dog about how soft he was.
Two and a half years later, she's going to be my mother-in-law. Also, when her son and I were having a pretty serious argument a while ago, she said to him, "If you break up with her, I'm trading you for her."
