These Redditors know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a joke. From the littlest mistakes to big-time uh-ohs, they messed up so bad their friends will never let them live it down. These hilarious stories go to show that a little friendly banter never hurt anyone, and can even give you a pretty funny story to tell. Here are 50 stories of friends making fun of friends.
1. Out of Your Weight Class
I once got drunk in Vancouver and complained about some kid crying loudly on the sky train. All I said was, "This is why I don't want kids" to our friend group, but to this day they insist I got up and picked a fight with the baby.
2. Everybody Walk the Dinosaur
When I walk sometimes my arms go up like Roger from American Dad (or like a t-rex) it’s a subconscious thing I don’t even realize I do and it’s mortifying and it’s only when I’m carrying something in one hand. This is why I have no friends lolol.
3. HBD Jesus
I have a friend who looked like Jesus back in high school. We all still message him on Christmas Eve to wish him a happy birthday.
4. COMRADES
I once went out to a fancy hotel with my friends and ate lunch at the restaurant. The waitress then asks us if we are outsiders. I proceed to say with confidence, "NO, WE ARE CITIZENS!" and they all laughed at me and always bring it up. Turns out "outsiders " meant people who don’t sleep at the hotel. Je suis tres dumb.
5. The Pickle Pal
When I was a kid my family moved a lot, I started at a new school in the town I’m in now. Now my parents were always pretty strict; if we wanted food we could only have just one of that thing. I had a love for pickles and I thought everyone did too. So I told some new friends of mine that if they came to my house they could have TWO WHOLE PICKLES.
14 years later and it's still brought up
6. Personal Rule Book
When me and my friends were very young the Pokémon card game had just come out. Being little kids, we couldn't quite figure out all the rules. We had a general understanding of what was going on, but were missing a lot of the details that made the game work—and that's where my devious plan came into being. I literally came up with my own rulebook that I somehow convinced my friends to play under. And wouldn't you know, the rulebook would always tend to favor me.
Anyway, some 20+ years later now if my friends are playing a game, one will still occasionally joke about it and say something like, "Hold on guys, let me pull out my rulebook."
7. The Doo-Doo Tree
I pooped my pants laughing at a friends house and was so panicked that I would never live it down that I threw them out the bathroom window to get rid of the evidence—I apparently threw them too hard that they ended up in a tree and have been hanging about 50 ft up in the tree ever since. It’s been seven years.
8. Hot Apple Juice
Back in the good ol' depression days, I made it a habit of peeing in cups so I didn't have to leave my room (It's gross I know). Well, I had a bunch of friends come over and we were having fun gaming and I wasn't paying attention and went to grab my drink but it was a pee cup I forgot about. I don't pee in cups anymore
9. Bamboozled
When I was in 8th grade I was walking home from school with my best friend and he wanted to take a detour to meet with his "girlfriend" (they basically just made out between classes). When we get to the bridge they were meeting on I see his girl with her best friend. As we are approaching them, he just turns to me and says, "She (the friend) has a crush on you and wants to hook up."
The friend was cute but really not my type, and she had the notion that I had a crush on her too and was coming to hook up. I really didn't like being bamboozled like that—but I still kind of regret what I did next. When they left us alone (they just stepped away 10m to make out), she is just waiting for me to kiss her, and I just said that I don't wanna make out and that I was framed.
She starts to cry and run to her friend. They both (the two girls) hated me ever since, and my friend made the rest of the school year really awkward by jokingly asking her every time we were all together if she wanted to hook up with me.
10. Elephant Memories
Not sure they make fun of me anymore, but it still comes up. When I was around 10, I got my pants and underwear pulled down at school, in front of a bunch of girls. At least one of the girls would make fun of me for it for five years or so until she moved away. Eventually, I ran into her end of high school, and we “hate screwed” is the only way to put it.
Apparently, she made my life awful because she had a crush on me, uggg. Anyways, someone freaking brought it up that "didn't you bang the girl who made fun of you from when you got pantsed" at a reunion maybe a year ago. Literally 30 or more years after the fact. Friggin’ people and their long memories.
11. The Ol’ Ask N’ Run
Many moons ago when I was in high school, I was an extremely shy girl and very socially awkward (I’m still super awkward), I had developed a huge crush on this guy in my English Lit class. With the encouragement of some friends, I decided I was going to make a move and ask him out. As we were walking towards the senior parking lot, I jogged up behind and tapped him on the shoulder and asked if I could talk to him for a second.
He said “sure” and sent his friends on their way. When he turned back around, I sat there like a deer in the headlights turning bright red and nearly having a stroke. He said, “Are you okay?” And that’s when I blurted out, “DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE MOVIES WITH ME?!”, then very next second, before he could answer, I turned on my heel and walked away as fast as I could to my car.
I never got my answer. I wouldn’t make eye contact with him from then on. I found out a year or so later, he had a crush on me too. Oops, oh well. I’ve told this story to my husband and he brings it up occasionally to make fun of me.
12. Yeah, Susan
My awesome jewelry collection. It's mostly just cool/funky costume stuff. Everyone always has to comment that I am a hoarder or something, even though it is nicely laid out and cataloged. BUT when anyone has an event to go to or is getting married or going on vacation, they always come calling to me to get them accessorized up.
I don't understand why they think my stuff is tacky or gaudy when I wear it, but they will snap up anything I put down in a minute. It really couldn't be that ugly if you are dying to wear it to your mother-in-law's Memorial Day party Susan. Just saying.
13. The Hockey Player’s Smile
"Am I still pretty?" Blackout drunk with friends, we decided to walk and get more snacks. A friend told me she would give me a piggyback ride so I ran at her back at jumped—turns out, that was a terrible mistake. She wasn't ready and fell forwards, resulting in me awkwardly going over her, landing on the pavement and sliding on my face. I popped up real quick, felt at the blood on my face, and shouted out, full of panic to my friends, "AM I STILL PRETTY?"
I looked like I had barely survived a car accident. I was not pretty in that moment but my friends all kindly assured me I was still beautiful as they drunkenly applied first aid. This was years ago; we all went our separate ways, but I still hear it every time I run into them in our small city. I healed up nicely with a small scar.
14. The Worst Kind of Cold Shower
When I was 13 a kid I knew bet me $20 to stick my junk in the vacuum hose. Me being a dumb teenager grabbed the vac, closed my door, and stuck my member in the vacuum. My little brother came home with my buddy and walked into my room and found me on the floor with a full stiffy and a vacuum hose stuck to my unit.
I couldn’t get it off, so we did the logical thing: unscrewed the hose from the vacuum and poured cold water down the hose. Let me tell you all that getting almost freezing water poured on your member when it’s fully chubbed and being squeezed intensely FREAKING SUCKS. When I got it out there was so much dirt and dust in the water I had to scrub myself clean.
But now my brothers and that friend will not let it go, and this is 11 years later at that.
15. I’m Hilarious
My laughing at myself/sense of humor. They give me a hard time about my accidental snort laughs, but I do a great job with public speaking, and I've been told that I come across as genuine, laid back, and funny, which helps make good sales. Either way, I'm kinda flattered that my friends make fun of me for these traits!
16. Classic Gamer Moment
Not me, but my best friend got ripped by his mom and forgot to mute his mic while we were playing games one day. An approximate 10-minute scream fest, about him forgetting to put the garlic bread in the oven before dinner.
We still ask him about the garlic bread to this day.
17. The Streaks
Whilst one of my friends was high on mushrooms, our other friend (also high on shrooms) convinced him that he had pooped his pants. Went something like this: My friend: "What's that smell?" sniff sniff "David! Did you just poop your pants?!" David: "Oh god nooooo!" and runs to the bathroom to check, then comes back, "Guys it's chill, my underwear is clean."
My other friend: "David, there's brown running down your pant legs, you definitely pooped your pants!" *cue him running to the bathroom again* This series of conversations and actions was repeated no less than seven times. It sounds mean, but it's a funny story we like to bring up anytime we hang out.
18. Francais Only
In my 2nd year of middle school, in French class, we had to do short conversations with groups of 2-3 people in front of the class. I had to do my conversation with this girl that I didn't really know and with whom I barely talked. We had prepared the entire conversation because we were still allowed to back then.
The conversation was just someone passing by the supermarket and talking to a cashier. I knew in advance (or at least I thought I knew) what she was going to ask, which was something about the weather, so in my head I already had the sentence I would have to respond with ready. So... Then it was our turn. We go to the front of the class. The nerves were killing me, but everything was going to be alright...then she threw me a total curveball.
Suddenly the girl I was doing the dialogue with asks me "Ca va bien?" which means "How are you?" This was not how I planned it to go. It's a simple question but it really threw me off, so I started getting really nervous and I just couldn't think of the right words for a response. LITERALLY A WHOLE MINUTE OF ME SAYING "ERM" PASSES before the girl I was doing the dialogue with asks, in the middle of the dialogue, "Can I go to the restroom?"
Meanwhile, I still didn't have my answer ready, and I still didn't when she came back probably almost five minutes later. The best I could come up with was "Bien," which isn't even a full answer, it should have been "Ca va bien" or something like that. So, to this day my friends still answer with "Bien" when someone asks them how they are doing.
19. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
In bootcamp. Everybody on the first day had to stand up and say who they are, where they’re from, and a fact about themselves. Now, I’m a goofy guy who barely finished high school and was washing dishes for most of my teen years, so what fact could I bring to the table? I just said, "I dance tango but my gf and I just broke up so I have no one to dance with." (true)
The commanders tried not to laugh, and the team remembers it to this day, six years later, bringing it up on occasions when talking about weird stuff.
20. Moving into the Friendzone
When I was 14 (just starting high school), there was a girl I started talking to who I just clicked with, pretty much my first real friend in high school. After a while, I got a crush on her and some of my other friends would always joke about how we'd be a cute couple, blah blah blah. High school freshman stuff essentially, and each time we'd shrug it off as a joke.
One day right before lunch is over we're just chilling and talking, I forget what it was about, but as the bell rings she just kinda awkwardly asks, "Hey OP you wanna walk me to class?" Now at this point, most people would have alarms going off in their head, "This is your chance," but not me. Me, being the fantastic student I am, simply said, "I can't, I'll be late to class."
And walked off after that. I get to my next class and then it hits me, and I immediately tell my friend, who just looks at me like I'm a dummy. Long story short, friend-zoned, and to this day I still get the occasional, "Hey OP wanna walk me to class?"
21. No Bleeding on This Bus
So, when I was about...six years old, I had a problem with my nose (when I was three, I was jumping on my mom's bed and smacked my face onto the coffee table next to the bed and broke my nose). After I broke my nose, I would have frequent nose bleeds until I was eight. One afternoon, I was riding the bus home, I got a bloody nose, and the bus had to be pulled over so Ann (the bus driver) could give me a tissue to help the bleeding stop.
Obviously, a bloody nose is not something you can control, but I was yelled at a lot for having them. Now, keep in mind that I had only had one nosebleed on the bus, and that was the first and last time my nose bled on that bus. When I got off the bus, my mom was waiting for me at the end of the driveway, when Ann called me and my mom over the driver's side window so she could talk to my mom.
I had to ask my mom exactly what Ann said to her, because I couldn't remember, and this is what she told me. Apparently, Ann said, "Look, if you don't get your daughter's nose under control, I'm going to have to kick her off the bus and she will no longer be able to ride this bus for the rest of her school career." It was ridiculous.
My best friend rides the same bus, and she heard everything. The next day she came up to me and said, "GeT yOuR nOsE bLeEdS uNdEr CoNtRoL." It was really stupid sounding because she wanted to mock Ann. To this day, she and one of our other friends tease me about it. I was in first grade, six years old. I'm now in eighth grade, it's been seven years and we've never forgotten this.
22. A Short Ride
I don't see these people so much, but I can only assume that they remember. In elementary school, the route I was on for the bus didn't have many kids, so they had sent along a smaller bus until they combined our route into another, thus a full-sized bus. I wasn't very aware as a kid, and had no shame of this fact, and never thought of it much.
As a teen, someone made some crack about "taking the short bus," to which I responded by blurting out, "Aw I remember taking the short bus to school." As they started laughing, I realized why I shouldn't have shouted it out. Was long after graduation when I ran into an old classmate, and the first thing he asked was if I took the short bus there.
23. The Lemon Guy
When I was around ten years old, so fifteen years ago, my school had its traditional school disco. For some reason, I thought drinking as many cups of the free lemonade as possible would make me really cool—huge mistake. Over the course of what could have only been a couple of hours, I drank somewhere between twenty and thirty of those small plastic cups (like, 7oz/200ml cups) of lemonade, threw up everywhere, and had to leave.
To this day I don't know why I did that, and my oldest friends still bring it up.
24. A Tight Squeeze
Me and a couple of friends went train traveling around Europe after high school. When we were in Paris we slept in this hostel up in Montmartre which meant if we were in the city center we would walk about an hour to get there, which was honestly fine, we didn’t have a lot of money and we had gotten used to walking a lot on the trip.
But one night we are drinking on the Seine and we think maybe we can spare the couple of euros to get the metro this one time. We check and the last one is leaving in like five minutes, so we run like crazy and realize we wouldn’t have time to buy tickets. No problem, I say—I’ve seen other people just kind force the doors and since they’re pneumatic, they open on their own.
So, I go first and I just get completely stuck between the doors, I can’t even go back. They’re laughing their butts off and then this Frenchman kinda just glided under this opening, so they follow suit. Now they’re in and I’m still stuck. So, I just squeezed through as hard as I can, my face completely smashed onto the plexiglass and somehow, I made it through.
To this day I’m Fartman to them.
25. Train Training
It wasn’t too long ago, almost a year since it happened. I was in my last year of secondary school, and my family decided to move to a new house about 6 miles away, so sometimes I would take the train with my mate in the mornings to get to school. One day, I ring my friend on the way to the station and she got on an earlier train than our usual one, so I waited for that one and would have met her once I got there.
I see a train approach, and due to extreme anxiety, I assume this is the one. But when the doors close and the train starts going, I get a really bad feeling. I notice this one has fewer coaches than it should. So, I ask the guy next to me “Does this train go to (my destination)” and he goes “No, this goes to (other place).” I’m panicked. I got off at the next stop and had to wait to get the train back to where I was, then finally get where I wanted to go.
I missed the whole of my first period in school. My friends peed themselves when I explained why. And to this day, even after school finished, they mention to “get the right one this time” and basically laugh a ton. I never took another train to school after this incident.
26. Eeep!
When you discover a spider with some weight is crawling across your face, you may make an involuntary noise. If that noise happens to be high pitched, you don't want to be around my friends if you never want to hear about it again.
27. The Bat Belt
My over-preparedness and MacGyver-like nature. But who had the random zip-ties in her purse on "Girls Night Out" that single-handedly saved the evening from a potentially disastrous wardrobe malfunction? MauiKehaulani. That's who.
28. Perfectly Balanced
I'm mildly colorblind. And I want to stress that it's incredibly mild. And it's the yellow/blue colorblindness rather than the common red/green. The worst it's ever affected me is shooting the two ball in a game of pool instead of the eight and killing my teammate in PUBG because I couldn't see the name over his head to identify him as friendly.
Still, I hear jokes from my roommates constantly. It's all in good fun though and it doesn't bother me. Especially because the one guy peed the bed drunkenly once or twice in college and we will never let him live that down.
29. Work-Famous
A brief appearance in an educational video. The director insisted I take my glasses off and that they would just enlarge the font on the teleprompter. Bad plan. Twenty takes later we ended up with my claim to fame consisting of me squinting and blinking like a toad on drugs. To make matters worse, I had just gotten a new haircut for the occasion which friends have described as an homage to Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber.
If I dare get uppity at work, my coworkers gather 'round and play this, sometimes with popcorn and a beer. Every new staff member gets to see this video of the boss (me) as part of their orientation.
30. The Mail Man
I was 16, driving while stoned, with friends in the car. For some reason, the front passenger seat was empty, with two friends sitting in the back (maybe we had dropped someone off—this memory bothers me for its vagueness). Up ahead I saw a hitchhiker so I pulled over to offer a lift. I even went so far as to lean across the seat to roll the window down...before I noted it was a mailbox.
To this day, I’m still close with one of the people who sat in the back and he does not fail to mention it whenever we get together. Funny he can even remember it.
31. Mmm, Car Eggs
One time me and my friends went to the beach when we were 13-15. My friend got car sick on the way there and threw up in the parking lot at a beachside restaurant. She said she felt better after that, so we continued our trip—but our nightmare was just beginning. We ate some seaweed on the beach. Then on our way home, she pulls out the boiled eggs she brought for lunch. The ones that had been sitting in the hot car all day.
They looked nasty; they were turning yellow. And for some reason she ate one. She ended up pooping her pants on the side of the freeway. We never let her live that down.
32. Extra Protein
I'm the instigator in this one. Back in high school a friend and I were hanging out. There was a moth flying around the room and eventually, it disappeared. Just gone. Maybe 10 minutes later my buddy took a swig from his soda, coughed, and said he swallowed something. Naturally, I about keeled over from laughter, telling him he ate the moth.
He was refusing to accept his fate and argued, half freaked out, that he may have indeed ingested a moth. Almost ten years later during any disagreement I will wheeze and say, "At least I didn't drink a friggin’ moth." Usually he still vehemently denies his winged diet, but every so often he relents and solemnly admits "I know."
33. The Lake Turned Brown
My husband and I were invited out on the lake on a friend's boat. Since we were headed out there about noon, we stopped at Whataburger and got a patty melt. Well, about two hours after eating, I got the stomach cramps. I explained to my friends that they needed to take me to the marina so I could use the ladies’ room, and they obliged.
Upon completion, I get back into the boat and we go back into the middle of the lake. About 20 minutes later, I start getting the stomach cramps again, and they refused to take me back to the marina. We all knew what needed to happen—but that didn't make it any less horrifying. I had was to hang off the ladder and just let it go into the lake. Everyone was on the boat but me and then we drove off to a new location, but they still give me guff about it today.
BUT I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE!
34. Never Trust Mom
Not my friends, my family. Until my ex-stepdad was out of the picture and my nieces came along, I was frequently the butt of jokes. They even laughed at me for saying I was tired of being the butt of jokes and started calling me Joke Butt.
When I was about seven, I got hung up on a fence by my overalls. My sister, who was 12, couldn't get me down. Mom was at work or night class and we weren't supposed to be out after dark, so we couldn't call her. My sister had to call over some college guys who lived in our apartment complex to help. She claims my bare butt was showing. I don't remember this part.
I was around the same age when my mom told me children couldn't have Skor candy bars. It was against the law. I believed her. In my defense, my mom does deadpan well. That's why I believed her when she told me one summer, she'd enrolled me in Vacation Bible School. This one takes a little explaining. I lived with my dad and stepmother, who were religious fanatics. They were super-strict and I loved getting to escape to my mom's for the summer.
So, when she told me I was going to VBS, I cried. I begged and pleaded with her not to make me go. I was probably 12 or 13 and I was in abject terror. Then she tells me it's a joke. She still laughs about it, 30 years later.
35. She’s Going Down Again!
My first girlfriend. She was goth, a pathological liar, weird, and actually mentally ill. She would collapse in front of people feigning blackouts for attention. I was a bit of an anonymous loser in middle school so I bit the bait when she reeled me in, and I knew that, but I wanted to say I had a girlfriend.
It lasted three weeks before we broke up. I hadn't realized how often she told untrue stories about herself or that people thought we were extremely odd as a couple. I looked fully plain and normal. She had this cyber/goth look. Looking back, I think she was a pretty girl, but with obvious bad habits and behaviors inherited from her weak mother who "couldn't walk."
I felt that she liked being together with me but I just saw what a joke our relationship was to others and I basically ended it because of that. But the damage had been done. Anyone I knew from that year in school will still mention her name to me and laugh knowingly as I cower in shame...and I still feel ashamed but I also feel bad for her, because this is the status she has, not me.
They were laughing at me because everyone laughed about her. I also had several people afterward question me. "But why were you together?" and "What did you see in her?" And the answer I've never given but which must be the truth is that I just wanted to be able to say, "I have a girlfriend." By the way I was 16.
36. Three-Ply Vines
I was about 10 years old when I first went to the Dominican Republic. I went there for a family vacation and let me tell you the weather was amazing. So, it was my mom, brother and myself. But by my surprise, I saw a childhood friend there. We didn’t have the chance to talk at all because he moved back to Brazil so it felt nice to reconnect with a friend for a while.
Anyways so this one day we were all hanging out in the pool (myself my brother and him) and we saw this beautiful garden, full of flowers, vines and a big fountain. We would just run around and play some football. Earlier we had some really good beans but my stomach was not feeling so well. The bathroom was really far away and my 10-year-old mind just decided that nobody would notice if I pooped in the garden.
My plan also seemed perfect. I would take a quick dump and then wipe myself with some vines. So, I took down my swimsuit and took a fat one. Sadly, it was a wet one and the sound it made was like starting a lawnmower. I immediately noticed that my brother and my friend were staring at me. We had an awkward moment where we just locked eyes.
I wiped myself with vines and after that day they kept calling me “La poop del Bosque” (the poop of the forest).
37. Happy… What Day is It?
Three years ago, we were getting together with some friends at New Year's Eve. This one friend couldn't make it due to being with his SO's friends. A couple of minutes after midnight one of us gets a call from him. He answers the phone, putting it on speaker, saying, "Hi Friend's name!" To which our friend shouts, "Happy birthday!!!" in the most serious happy tone you could get.
We're all silent for a moment...and then burst out laughing, our friend hearing it all since he was on speaker. He didn't get it at first but after a few seconds he clicked and uttered some embarrassed mumbles. Since then (admittedly two occasions so far) we always say happy birthday to each other at New Year’s Eve. I think this is going to last for a while though.
We also say Merry Christmas at his birthday parties as well since then. He is definitely not out of the woods yet.
38. Purging the Gram
Instagram started getting really big when I was in sixth grade so I downloaded it like all of my peers. We were in grade six so everything we posted was really cringey, but my account was particularly bad. As time went on people deleted their old pictures or even made new accounts, but unfortunately my account lives on to this day since I couldn’t remember my password.
It isn’t private so anyone can just go and see it. Some of the stuff on there is extremely embarrassing and every now and then someone who knew me at the time will bring it up and show people who don’t know about it. I had this account six years ago and I still get chirped about it on a consistent basis.
39. Heading East, Are We?
Back when I was in middle school (probably grade 7 or 8), we used to have geography challenges through the school. It was a nationwide (Canada) thing and winners in each school would go on to like a provincial competition or some garbage. Anyways, I was always good at these challenges, but never won (came in 2nd like 3 years in a row).
So, one year, we had a three-person tie at the end of the challenge. It was me, my best friend, and a girl in the grade below us. So, we had to do an all or nothing playoff. If we all got it right, next question. If we all got it wrong, next question. If one or two of us got it right and the other wrong, the wrong person was out.
So, we did about three questions before the girl in the grade below lost out. Now it was just me and my best friend. And we just kept going. Literally, we must have had 25 questions where we were either both right or both wrong. And then we hit question #26. I still remember the question: "if you are going from Prince Albert, Saskatchewan to Prince George, British Columbia, what general direction are you heading"?
For those that don't know Canadian geography, the answer is West....it's not even a hard question. But my little 13-year-old brain got it backwards. I hear it as traveling from Prince George to Prince Albert, so I answered East. My friend started laughing immediately because it was such a stupid question for him to win on. And from then on, every once in a while, he will ask me what direction it is from Prince Albert to Prince George.
Literally to this day, he will ask me from time to time...and we're 32!!
40. Pre-Halo Jitters
I consider my dad my friend so this counts. In the long age ago when Halo Reach was coming out, I was super excited and counted down the days. I saved up my allowance and the day came. I begged my dad to take me to the nearest GameStop. I stride in and very confidently slap my money on the table and say I want a copy of Halo Reach.
The clerk looks very confused and says it’s not out yet. Turns out I got the day right but was off by one month. My dad laughed his butt off in front of the whole store as I hung my head in shame on the way back to the car. To this day, if I mention a game I’m excited about he’ll ask me if I’m sure I got the release date right at least three times.
On the positive side, I have never made that same mistake twice.
41. Dickered It
When I was a freshman in high school, my best friend's mom was driving me, my best friend, and another friend home from a dance recital that my best friend was in. We were playing some game involving Disney songs, it was late, and Mary Poppins got brought up. I say, because I'm very tired, "Oh I loved Dick Cheney in that movie!"
Understandably, they make fun of me, and being the headstrong young freshman I was, I was determined to clear my name, because of COURSE I only made that mistake because I was tired. So, I proceeded to say "Look, I just get my Dicks confused after midnight." My best friend's mom almost swerved off the road because she was laughing too hard.
Still won't let me live it down, and now anytime they bring up anything involving Dick Cheney OR Dick Van Dyke I have to legitimately stop and think about which name I'm saying because the swap is so ingrained in my head now.
42. Security Sweats
Went on a history/politics school trip to New York, Philadelphia, and Washington DC in February 2016, not long before me and my friends finished sixth form and started university later that year. We took a flight from Leeds-Bradford to Amsterdam Schiphol, then from there we would go to JFK in New York. Before we went through customs, I was told the US customs officers could be very unfriendly, so I got pretty nervous.
The stern lady at customs asked me where I'd come from, so I said "Amsterdam" at first, then added, "I'm from the UK, Leeds-Bradford." To be fair, I did answer the question asked, but in that context, it was a bit too literally! My friends told me later they saw a security guard walking quite close to where I was, and they also noticed I looked very nervous.
I probably looked like a mouse being fed to a snake. My body language does betray me at times, I must say! Last thing I wanted to happen was to be detained by US customs. I just wanted to get it done with after being up since 5 am UK time and go exploring! The lady then asked me if I had been to any African country in the last 12 months (this was when the Ebola outbreak was pretty much daily news), and I said no.
Honestly I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. Thankfully the lady stamped my passport and said, "Welcome to America," and I was so relieved. I then told my friends what had happened and they couldn't stop laughing. Even my teachers saw the funny side of it. I had the best week of my life on that trip, and thoroughly enjoyed every second of it.
Visited the Chrysler Building, the 9/11 Museum, Harlem, Independence Hall, Arlington National Cemetery and Congress. Thankfully on the return leg, at the airport in Washington DC, the guys just before security were so friendly, they said: "Hope to see you back in this country soon!" I love the US and it’s not put me off going back in the future!
My friends still tease me for that nearly four years later and its one of the most told stories of the trip even to this day. The funniest moment was when my friend fell over a bollard in Philadelphia. Thankfully he was OK, as there was snow that day. That being said, at least now I know not to be nervous of US customs agents!
43. Teeter Totter Trouble
Way back in kindergarten (back when it was cool to have your parents eat lunch with you at school) my 500-pound father went and sat on our wooden benches and broke it. Sent the poor kid sitting next to him up in the air. Friends have never let it down since.
44. Give and Take
So, I had a lot of health issues when I was very young—born ten weeks early, asthma, this rare disease which made a bone in one leg dissolve—I get teased a lot for being so messed up. Especially since I need a shoe lift for the shorter leg, and my school uniform shoes make it very obvious I'm wearing a lift. But I get made fun of the most for being short.
From friends squatting down to make eye contact with me to them stopping in the middle of a conversation to tell me I'm really short. Thanks, I didn't notice /s Anyway, I actually don't mind. It sounds like my friends are a bunch of jerks, but I make fun of them too. It's all in good fun.
45. Fightin’ Words
It was Thanksgiving and my maternal grandfather and I were talking about a school fight I just had a few days before. And he was completely accepting of the fact that I got into a fight, but I was explaining that I had blacked out during it and "woke up" on top of the dude, choking him out. Apparently, my grandpa had the same issue, and we spent the rest of the holiday reminiscing about the fights we've gotten into.
To the absolute HORROR of the family, of course. And thus, I was the fighter of my family, and they would mention it at every family event and any time I ran into one of them. And all my friends and new family learned about this in a dramatic screaming match I had right before I was adopted, and I have never lived it down.
So now I'm still known as a scrapper and a fighter. To the point that when a hooligan of a 16yo was adopted by my brother, he heard about my reputation and sucker punched me at his first Christmas with the family.
46. Flying Away
Friend of mine still brings up that I made her miss a plane once, 20 years ago, every chance she gets. Well she made me miss a plane yesterday. I took it with a tremendous amount of grace. Maybe she'll shut up next time.
47. You Would Not Believe Your Eyes
I had severe eczema as a kid. Used to bleed all over the place. Friend had black lights in his basement. I was over there all the time, one day was super-hot in the summer and I wanted to change my shirt. Turns out blood shows up in black lights...my whole body basically looked like it was glowing white. He called me "firefly" for a while :(
48. Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’
Fail to roll my Rs. I can't roll my freaking Rs. Just randomly, could be bloody weeks, could be months, one friend will just start going, "How a-r-r-r-r-e you going, Kaleb?" and I just try and I fail. And oh Lord do I envy and hate them. "Just r-r-r-r-roll your r-r-r-r-r's, Kaleb," A spear through my heart.
49. Blame it on the Banana
So, I used to find passing gas in front of anybody horribly embarrassing. When I was pregnant, I had the worst smelling gas known to man. Like, sometimes it would make my husband gag. Which is saying something because his job is literally cleaning up human poop all day. One day, my friend walked into my house 30 seconds after I had let loose a big one. If I wasn't so embarrassed at the time, I would have found his immediate look of disgust hilarious.
Him: "What even is that!?" Me: flustered and looking for anything to blame it on, sees an old banana peel in the bin "Oh, umm, must be that banana rotting in the bin." In comes my husband: "Oh God Leeonie13, you've let it rip again! Hahaha." Now, five years later, if someone smells a toot, there must be a rotten banana around.
50. Frogging It
Not me but my cousin. We were really close growing up as kids, our parents took us all sorts of places We had these local woods nearby with various walking trails, little paths that showed you around so you didn’t get lost. Anyways we are halfway through one of the 45 mins trails and me and my cousin both needed to pee. My mom told us to pick a tree and squat to go.
It took us a few minutes of working up the courage, being like 8-9-year-old girls we were aware enough to not wanna be seen naked. So there we are, mid-stream, eyes darting everywhere, ears pricked, peeing as hard and fast as we could, I had finished just in time to hear this family literally come out of nowhere, they must have been walking off-trail because holy balls, there they were.
I have never pulled my trousers up so vigorously fast in my life, to the point where I’m gonna have to dig this wedgie out or I’ll be rocking it back to the car with a jaunty step. My cousin on the other hand, wasn't so graceful. I'll still laugh when I remember what she did. She literally shrieks and starts running, tree to tree, still peeing, trousers around her ankles, her pale white butt flashing through the foliage like some sort of rare phenomenon.
Her butt looked boney and triangular, like a frog butt, so we’ve called her frogbum ever since. She’s 30 now and heavily pregnant but frogbum still lives on.
51. What Time Is It?
One time I woke up late for school because my alarm didn't go off. I am incredibly blind without my contacts and just glanced at the clock and was very late. In a furious panic to try somehow make it to the bus I put my contacts in, dunked my hair in water and grabbed my backpack and jacket as I sprinted to the bus stop.
It was the time of year where it's dark outside well into the morning, so it was still pitch black. No one was at the bus stop, so I figured I missed. I still waited for quite some time in case it showed up. When I realized I was so late it wasn't coming I walked back to my house, knowing I would have to wake my mom up to take me to school.
Fortunately, when I walked through the front door, she was already up waiting for me! She greeted me with, "WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!" I responded that I was sorry, but late for the bus and needed her to take me to school. She glared at me and told me it was something like four in the morning.
I had somehow misread my alarm clock in my state of panic and tried to explain that I really did think I was late and was really at the bus stop. She just assumed I had snuck out with friends the night before and was just coming home, something I had been doing off and on for a while at that time. So, I was grounded for sneaking out, when in reality I just woke up too early to go to school.
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