Dating Sucks, But These Stories Are Ridiculous
No one ever said that dating was supposed to be a walk in the park, but come on, it’s not supposed to be like this!
From blind date nightmares to online dating disasters, these people didn’t find the one—but at least they ended up with some truly crazy stories to tell.
1. Twist Ending
I once went on a blind date with this girl. We started with a movie, and everything went okay throughout. The real disaster actually only happened as we left the theater.
After the movie finished, as we were pulling out of the parking lot, she saw her father leaving the same movie…with a woman who definitely wasn't her mother.
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2. Stay Hydrated
It was my freshman year of college. He took me to Wendy's for a date because neither of us had a lot of money. He had one of those monotone voices, and could drone on and on and on about nothing.
He was telling one such story when I swallowed my water the wrong way and started coughing. This was still a date, so at first, I tried to politely expel the water, but to no avail.
As he continued to talk, I started hacking all over the table. Tears were streaming down my face, water was dribbling down my chin, and I was pounding my own back at a futile attempt to get the devil water out of my system. He kept talking. Trying to hold the water in at first was a bad idea. I could not stop coughing. But then it got so much worse.
I bent down under the table, hoping the angle would make it easier to cough up the liquid. Everybody in the whole restaurant was staring at me in silence. Except for my date, of course. He was still telling his story.
I finally finished hacking up my lungs and tried to listen to the rest of his story. I had no idea what he was talking about.
He continued with his anecdote, unfazed by my wet, red face and smeared make-up. When he finally finished, I apologized for my coughing fit and explained that I had swallowed my water the wrong way. To which he replied, "
Oh, I was wondering what was wrong with you." Thanks, my dude. We did not have a second date.
3. True Blind Date
I once had my blind date walk into the restaurant wearing a niqab. She was not Muslim—and her reason for wearing one made me want to flee. See, she wanted us to have a conversation without me knowing what she looked like. Kind of a “
what the heck” moment out of a TV show…but I saw her point. I ended up disliking her based on her personality.
4. For Your Eyes Only
I went on a date with this guy who seemed really sweet. We went out to a really classy dinner. The food was great, the atmosphere was fantastic...
but at the end of the main course, he whipped out his phone and started showing me pictures he'd taken of his private area. Like...different angles, lighting, dynamic effects.
I rode with him to the restaurant, so I had to sit next to him on the ride home and fight the urge to fling the door open and tuck 'n roll.
