Boot Camp Confidential
Ever wonder what boot camp is really like, beyond Hollywood movies like Full Metal Jacket? Is it really all screaming drill sergeants and surprise bed inspections? Well, these recruits, new and old, took to Reddit to reveal all—and their stories are downright jaw-dropping.
1. Ghosting Him
One of the guys fell asleep during duty. He lived to regret it. One of the drill instructors ambushed him and told him that he was now a goner, so then he had to go around being a spooky ghost. Like, literally. He has to walk around with a sheet over his head booing and shaking everyone's racks.
2. Plot Twist
During my basic training, the last Harry Potter book was coming out and a lot of people were having their parents mail them like 50 pages at a time in their letters, which wasn’t exactly allowed.
Eventually, our instructors found out—their revenge was horrible. They brought the company into a room and gave away every major plot point in the book. Just ruined the book for like hundreds of people. It was absolutely the darkest, funniest thing I've ever heard.
3. Stay Hydrated
One day we were doing one of our required ruck marches. One thing you realize in basic is that it's literally designed for idiots to pass. So it really is as idiot-proof as possible.
Well, about halfway through basic, you start focusing a lot more on the combat aspect of things. Very basic patrolling, etc.
Anyway, we go on one of these "patrolling" ruck marches. Essentially you just walk for like 12 miles in full combat gear with like 40 lbs of weight on your back. It's not bad, just boring. One girl was scared that she wasn't going to pass it. She did the stupidest thing ever.
She filled up her ruck and CamelBak water bottle with trash. She got super dehydrated obviously, since she didn't have any water, and pooped her pants before fainting.
They put her in the ambulance and she threw her pants out of the back when she woke up. The ambulance stopped, put them in a bag, and threw them back in at her.
It was really funny. Our instructor liked to do "forced hydration" after that one like non-stop.
4. It’s A Party In The USA
Now, for the army at least, one of the first big tasks you get in training is being sent to a room with gas. Think of a concrete box filled with "Oh god, it's in my eyes!"
You kind of just have to stay put for however long your Drill Sergeant decides. He has a stopwatch, but he just swings it at people who don't take their masks off quickly enough.
So, we march into the suck square and they close the doors. We rip our masks off and breathe in. After an existential crisis and rethinking some life decisions (about five minutes total) everyone is looking 31 flavors of messed up.
This stuff burns your eyes, your nose, and especially your lungs.
Anyway, everyone's puking, or crying, and they finally opened the doors to get out, so we stumble out. One guy made an unfortunate mistake: He tried to get dramatic and crawled out, only to have to repeat it two more times, and he was given the privilege of mopping the chamber after.
To dissipate the effects, you enter a large clearing and walk in a circle for a few minutes, with your piece in one hand, your mask in the other. In the middle of this circle is a raised platform where a drill sergeant will perch, making sure we recover. However, as we burst from the chamber, I got the surprise of my life.
We heard a voice from the platform. "Hey recruits, this is your song!” He proceeded to blast Miley Cyrus' beloved "Party in the USA" over a loudspeaker, dancing the whole time, while a group of vomit-encrusted, grown men walked around him crying.
It was like the strangest religious ceremony of all time.
Strangely, I somehow love that song.
