Bartender Confidential: Bartenders Share Disgusting Stories From Behind the Bar
Bartenders have to see humanity at its worst. They see us drunk, vomiting, passed out, and/or fighting with our friends. Truly, they are the silent witnesses to some of the worst moments of our lives. Not only that, they then have to deal with the gross stuff drunk people do. The bodily fluids, oh the bodily fluids! Bartenders also have to deal with people being absolute jerks. Not tipping well, treating them poorly, people throwing things at them, the list goes on.
But know that for every act of evil we inflict upon bartenders, they pay us back tenfold.
Here are stories of the wildest, rudest, and most disgusting bar customers of all time, mixed with stories about the crazy ways bartenders get their revenge for good measure. Good cocktails are all about balancing their ingredients, after all.
23. Secret Ingredient
A club bartender had been stiffed and ordered around by this guy all night.
The next drink he ordered, the bartender said he had to go get some limes, but instead he walked to a corner of the bar where nobody could see either side of him, unzipped his pants, and put his privates in the guy's vodka tonic.
He brought it back to him, and the guy chugged it. He might have chugged a couple of things that night.
22. Shove It.
One crazy bartender stuck the neck of a $1,000 bottle of Cognac up where the sun doesn’t shine on his last day. Proof that sometimes the biggest jerks have the most expensive taste.
21. Drink Before Dating
I once had a guy who came in already completely drunk. He stood up to greet his date, tripped over a bar stool, and face-planted. He just laid on the floor without moving or saying anything until she left.
20. Table Service
I was working at a nice restaurant in the French Quarter in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. I go back to a table and the girl is performing sexual acts with her date right then and there.
She’s not even hiding under the tablecloth like in the movies. Bonus: This restaurant has floor to ceiling windows facing the street.
