Weddings This Awkward Should Not Be Allowed
A wedding can be a wonderful day when two people bring together everyone they care about to witness and celebrate their love. But not every nuptial works out that way. These weddings were so awkward, their guests were regretting their RSVPs.
1. Sister Act
At a wedding I once attended, the groom gave a speech thanking everyone for coming. Somehow, the speech devolved in the space of about two minutes into a straight-up roast of his new brother-in-law. They were friends, and the brother-in-law seemed to take it in good humor, but there's only so much implication of “I'm for sure going to be sleeping with your sister tonight” that you can take before it becomes really cringy.
It didn't help that, first of all, I barely knew anyone there because I was a plus one and, second of all, I was at a table with the elderly relatives from that side of the family, who were less than amused, to say the least.
2. He Shoots, He Scores
When I was in high school, one of my hockey teammates had a kid with his girlfriend when they were juniors. They decided to get married and the wedding was officiated by my teammate’s dad, who also happened to be our head coach.
The entire wedding party consisted of the bride and groom's direct family and the hockey team.
It took place at a Golden Corral. Then the reception was held at...the same Golden Corral. Then we had a hockey game that night right after.
The other team we were facing that night somehow found out about what had happened and started to hound the guy about it for the entire time. Even though it was a super cringy situation, those guys were the worst.
For anyone wondering about how that game went, I honestly don’t remember if we won. Hockey season is always a long one with a lot of games, and this was a pretty long time ago.
Now, about seven years later, this couple has a second kid, the guy is an officer in the Air Force, both of his kids play hockey, and he coaches and refs for their league.
He and his wife look very happy together, so I’m glad it all worked out for them. And, just for the record, I really did not mean for this to be a rip on the couple.
They’re amazing together and are doing an awesome job of raising their kids in a loving household where they want for nothing. They haven’t had the easiest lives, but they’re doing the best they can and absolutely killing it.
I haven’t spoken to my former teammate in a while, but I’ve seen his dad, who was our old coach, at alumni games and they’re such an awesome family.
They’re the perfect living example of the fact that you don’t need a giant, expensive, fancy wedding to be happy in life. As long as you have each other, family, and friends, it’s a joyous occasion that should be celebrated.
3. Smell Ya Later
At the reception line after the church wedding ceremony, I once witnessed a bride standing at the entrance with a large bottle of her favorite perfume; and spraying each guest with it as they walked in. Female and male, whether they wanted it or not, every single guest. No exceptions. They literally could not enter the banquet hall without being sprayed.
Some guests complained that the smell of the perfume was so strong that it made them lose their appetites and they couldn't partake in the banquet as a result.
4. Baby You’re a Dumpster Fire
I once attended an outdoor wedding where the couple had arranged for fireworks to go off during the ceremony. Unsurprisingly, they also arranged for the song “Firework” by Katy Perry to be blasting out over a speaker while this was happening...
over and over again. By the third or fourth time the song played, I don’t think a single person there was thinking about anything other than wanting it to stop.
